I'm afraid of my girlfriend :/

[Anonymous]

I know this sounds bad but I really don't know what to do. I know my girlfriend has issues but from what her and her mom told me she either has borderline or bipolar and she's medicated for that. I know she has anxiety and depression issues but so do I. She told me tonight that for the past few days she's been hearing voices saying her name. This seriously freaks me out. Like my ex had that kind of issue (I only found out about it at the end of our relationship) and it scared me. Like I love my girlfriend and I've known her for over a year and been with her for almost 10 months and this is the first I'm hearing of this. I mean I can't live without her and she is without a doubt the love of my life and there is no one else for me but I kinda feel like I can't be with someone with that kind of problem. Like I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone I'm afraid of but at the same time I want to be with her. I honestly don't know what to do. She is the most important person to me and I don't want to spend my life with anyone but her. I'm just afraid and I really don't know what to do. Help? Please

[Mogget]

I know quite a few people who hear voices. All of them are able to function normally. Unless your gf's voices are telling her bad things, it's really nothing to worry about.

However, it's perfectly normal to find this scary. I would suggest you ask your gf to bring you to one of her counseling sessions so you can talk to her therapist about how your gf experiences mental illness. If you're in the US, I suggest getting in touch with the National Alliance on Mental Illness as they have excellent resources for family members and friends of people with mental illness.

[Anonymous]

See the issue with talking to her therapist is that she is also kind of my therapist meaning like we're in the same group therapy and us dating is against the rules of our group so we kind of have to be careful with that and her therapist doesn't know about it. Only I know about it. And the voices she said are just saying her name she said. And she's also afraid because she thinks she's crazy but I heard somewhere that crazy people don't think they are crazy so if she thinks she's crazy she probably isn't.

[Mogget]

"Crazy" is a pejorative term that has no real meaning. A lot of people with mental illness (myself included) will occasionally use it to describe ourselves ironically, but mental illness encompasses a broad range of conditions all of which have their own particular symptoms. The idea that people who are severely mentally ill are unaware of it is sometimes true, but often isn't. I know several people with severe mental illness (and used to be severely mentally ill myself) who are fully aware of it. Your gf should definitely tell your therapist that she's hearing voices, as that knowledge will affect her diagnosis and enable your therapist to develop an optimal treatment plan.

[thedreamwatch]

If she's got bipolar disorder and she's having auditory hallucinations, she needs to get help because if she's on medication like you said, her meds aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing OR they're doing the opposite of what they are supposed to be doing.

Something similar happened to me once upon a time. (I have bipolar disorder and heard people saying my name or singing when I was really manic) I got my meds adjusted and bam, no more voices.

Bipolar disorder is a lot of work to care for, but generally nothing to be scared of if you're treating it properly.

I do have to say this, though:

If her mental health is at risk, then she needs to be able to talk to someone. If you two being in therapy together prevents that, I'm sorry but you need to figure out a situation where both of you can get the help you need.

Keeping secrets and hiding at the expense of her mental health won't end well.

[Anonymous]

I'm not preventing her from talking to our therapist. I'm saying I can't like go with her and talk to her like someone suggested before. I told her she needs to tell her psychiatrist and have her meds fixed. She's just really stubborn and doesn't want people to think she's crazy or to be put in a hospital.

[Mogget]

Medical records are confidential. Her therapist can't even tell your therapy group about her hallucinations without her permission. The only exception is when the patient poses an immediate risk to herself or others. Since your girlfriend doesn't, based on what you've said, she doesn't need to worry about forced hospitalization.

And what dreamwatch meant was that keeping secrets from your therapist will prevent her from providing effective therapy for both of you. If you want to get the most out of therapy, you're going to need to find a solution that allows both of you to be honest about your relationship, or end the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Well i'm graduating from the group very soon so she can tell her then.