emotional attraction then physical attraction

[Anonymous]

When I hit puberty I started getting emotionally attracted to girls. I was in love with a girl but I never felt physically attracted to her. I thought she was attractive but not I never thought of it in any other way. I realize this sounds asexual. But now I feel both emotional & physical attraction towards the same-sex. Some of the lgbt people I know say they've been physically attracted before emotionally. I'm a bit confused. Is what I went through was part of discovering my orientation? I never felt anything for guys. I would like to hear any people's stories about discovering themselves.

[Jim1454]

This is just a hunch, but it seems to me that women tend to develop an emotional attraction first and a physical attraction after. For men I'd say it tends to be the other way around. It did for me. I was physically attracted to guys before I admitted that I could be emotionally attracted to them.

[silverhalo]

I am definitely that way, the more I have accepted my sexuality the more equal they have become but emotional attraction still comes first.

[IrisM]

I've only been in a situation where I liked someone in that way once, and when I'd started crushing it was definitely an emotional attraction. The girl in question had been in tears because of something someone had said to her and I had to go to her and help her through it, she was a wonderful person and I hope she's found someone equally wonderful. The physical attraction, for me at least is pretty much shut down because I feel too wrong physically.

[Anonymous]

I tend to feel the same: atraction to same sex (males) first emotionally and after phisically. I was diagnosed as borderline. I often have intense feelings toward men. Most of the time those feelings are of tenderness. I feel an urge to touch them as if they were a very close person. But it is not enough, so I tend to notice their phisical "gifts" I then feel a need to be as manly as he is. After that, as time goes, I get more and more attracted to their male phisical aspects. It is not uncommon for me to end on a state in which I feel a strong need to be submissive to him, even sexually. As if I quit being a man because I feel I am inferior to his virility. This can be so troublesome that I can get really depressed about it to the point that I need medical psichological care. This is my name here - I feel empty as a man and tend to fill myself with someone else's manly constitution. I see no way out of this.

[Caoimhe Fayre]

I'm the same way as well. I start with an intense emotional attraction followed by physical attraction, typically.

Not always, though. I mean, since I've come out, I've noticed that a LOT of women are very attractive, and it's not always emotionally based.

but the intense, kinda painful, I-can't-get-over-her type of crushes? emotional first, physical second, fantasies third