Orientation Question

[Anonymous]

If I am a women and I like women that makes me a lesbian (or gay, I like that word better) But what if I am a women and I like women and trans men as well?? What does that make me??

[silverhalo]

Human.

Sorry its not that I try and make fun of your plight, its just its best not to try and worry to much about specific labels, everyone is their own person and slightly different and you cant label that. I know we all like labels I am guilty of that too but its best to try not to be. Perhaps you could say 'not straight', or 'gay with exceptions?'

[Anonymous]

a woman who likes women and trans men? Really, when we go beyond biological sex and binary gender, there are few snappy labels around, "pansexuality" being pretty much the only game in town. (compared to all the variations of "bi.")

[Caoimhe Fayre]

pansexuality would imply liking ALL genders and biological sexes, though.

I think what she is saying is that she is attracted to women and to transmen, but not necessarily men or transwomen. (so it's perhaps the biological sex, and not the gender identity, that is the attractive factor for her) so not pansexual, and not straight, for sure.

I would just say "gay", personally.

I would not say "not straight", because that feels too much like defining ourselves via negativa, or by what we are not, as opposed to defining ourselves in the positive. It just feels better to be able to say "I am..." instead of "I'm not...", because "I'm not..." seems to imply lacking something as opposed to "I am..." which is just... more positive, IMO.

Also, we can never know for sure that we are not going to meet someone outside of the box we've chosen to define our attractions, who somehow is still attractive to us. Totally possible. So I understand the whole "don't label" philosophy... but it's not really satisfying when we are trying to discover who we are and define ourselves a little more clearly.

[seeksanctuary]

Since most transmen identify as men, I'd say you'd be bisexual, but... honestly, I don't know. Look into different labels and think it over? Being trans myself, I get uncomfortable when self-identified lesbian women get interested in me, because I wonder if they see me as male at all. If you see transmen as men, then technically you like women AND men, but it's really up to you.

Maybe "queer"?