no pleasure from anal sex

[Anonymous]

Hi, i have tried being a bottom many many times. and for the most part it is just meh. I have never felt anything hit my prostate, that people say all the enjoyment from anal sex comes from, so wondering if I'm doing something wrong. I use plenty of lube and stretch myself out, so its neither of those. although sometimes when my boyfriend goes all the way in, his penis is 7 inches, when he bottoms out it feels like he is hitting something and it hurts everytime. thanks guys.

[Anonymous]

in fact as far as i am concerned the prostate is a myth...i know that's taking it too far but im just frustrated. thanks

[The Doctor]

Have you tried doing it in other positions? I've heard that that may help.

[SunSparks]

I would recommend reading this article on anal sex. I think it has some valuable information. I think an important part is just allowing yourself to relax before the action begins. If its done correctly, there should be no pain. Just try taking things a little slowly to allow the anal muscles to relax.

[Ridiculous]

How much exploration have you done down there yourself? I'd suggest some experimentation using a toy or even just your fingers, so you can familiarise yourself with exactly which areas give you the most pleasure.

[Anonymous]

I have explored a good amount, and i am plenty relaxed when i try it, so thats not the issue either. thanks for the article it was somewhat useful, but i still would like more information on how people enjoy anal sex so much.

[Paper Heart]

Have you thought about flipping?

[Bobbgooduk]

Why do you feel the need to be "successful" with anal sex? I believe that some people enjoy felching, but I don't consider myself a failure as a gay man because it doesn't interest me in the slightest.

I don't find felching disgusting or anything, but I just don't go to bed thinking, "The sex will be really crap if I don't do a bit of felching tonight".

I have been sexually active with men for 40 years and have only been anally penetrated 3 times - once against my will - but I find my pleasure in other ways and I don't think there is a check-list of events that MUST take place for the sex to be pleasurable.\

I think you should stop beating yourself up on this and just do the things you love to do. If that included anal sex to give your partner pleasure, but it does nothing for you, just get him to do something nice for you - give and take, fair trade.

[mnguy]

I guess anal doesn't do anything for some guys so you may be one of them, which is just fine. It's a myth that all gay guys love anal sex. If it's not for you, just do other stuff that gets u off.

[Anonymous]

you might find that by introducing (Very Gentle) nipple stimulation whilst in the act you may have more pleasure as they act like an amplifier for pleasure and can even make less sensitive areas feel great to the touch. Also the prostate needs to be awakened to feel pleasure there, and it takes a lot longer for some than others. you can also train yourself to vibrate your pelvic floor muscles which will feels great.

[daftyduff]

Not all gay men like receiving. I do, because I like how it feels. You apparently don't and that's perfectly fine/normal.

There are many ways to stimulate pleasure besides anal: rimming, masturbation, oral, etc.

Maybe you should try topping and see if you like that?

[Bree]

Additionally, some people don't experience sexual pleasure when the prostate is touched. You might be one of those people who doesn't. Try getting your partner to find and put pressure on your prostate (with fingers or a toy). How does it feel?

[Gen]

Another thing to remember is that all of our sexually nerves have to be neurologically stimulated before we are able to feel(sense) common sensations. Most children do not feel any sexual sensations when they attempt to masturbate until they have reach an orgasm first. This is why many people are stuck wondering if they are doing it wrong when they dont really feel anything for 10 minutes lol.

You mostly wont feel any orgasmic sensations until you have felt a sort of high stimulation down there that would open your mind up to that feeling. After you have felt something positive than the feelings could increase more in time. Some people are naturally less sensitive than other, but that just means they have a slower start. I would recommend trying something with a higher amount of stimulation. Such as a nice vibrator. Once you have felt something enjoyable, you will probably start to find yourself need less and less stimulation. Much like my reference. After, you masturbate once, than it doesnt take as long the next time for it to start feeling good. Than less and less when you know what to expect.


As people said, you dont have to bottom at all. However, if that is what you are interested in than you should try to make it an enjoyable experience.