I'm a monster while I'm PMSing.

[Anonymous]

I already have a major emotional regulation disorder, BPD, so I'm moody and I panic easily at best. But when it's three or four days before my period, I'm a complete monster. I say the nastiest things to my girlfriend, and I get so furiously angry at her for no reason at all, and generally terrorize my poor honey.... I generally don't realize why I'm so angry until my period starts, it's all over, and I'm sitting in the midst of huge amounts of emotional wreckage I've caused. I know I am completely responsible for my behavior, and nothing is ever a good excuse for hurting someone, but I honestly feel like I have absolutely no control over myself when this starts. I don't have the money to get therapy right now, but when I go to college this fall and student loans pay everything, then I'm going to definitely to take advantage of th therapist in student health services.

In the meantime.... I need some way to at least reduce the damage I do. Please, don't tell me to just controll myself... It's pathetic, but I can't... You probably think I'm just copping out and shifting the blame.... But I already know it's my fault. I need a way to make it stop. Or make it easier for my girl at least. She's very gentle and forgiving, and she doesn't deserve any of the horrible things I say. It also really does serious damage to our relationship. It's hard to trust someone you're afraid of, and when she understandably gets defensive, she can say some pretty hurtful things right back. I feel like there's two of me. One of me is an evil little sadistic mother and the other is me, who tries like hell to stop other me and make me shut up and go away. I feel so useless, and powerless, and also hurt myself and scared. It can't go on like this...

I've suggested to her that we split up, for both our emotional safety, but she doesn't want that. I don't want to leave her, either. So, I need some safety net to keep these episodes from hurting us so much. Please be gentle with me emotionally when you give me suggestions. I'm very emotionally tired, and I don't like myself right now... Just... Help?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like most of your post could have been written by me, except it usually is taken out on anyone who gets in my way. Of course I feel horrible and apologize most of the time because I've realized what I've done or said and it's not nice.



Is there any way you could talk to your GP -doctor- or stop in at a walk in clinic and get a referral to a counseling clinic? Or look up free counseling in your area? I'm not sure where you're from, or even which country so I'm not sure how to help you there. I might be able to if you respond to this though.

[silverhalo]

Well im no expert but im thinking if your period is fairly regular you could write down when you have it and then you should be able to predict when it will return, therefore you could then work out which are most likely to be the days leading up to it where you will be grouchy. You can then be more wary of your behaviour or see your girlfriend less over these days.

[OMGWTFBBQ]

Aw. Don't break up because of it.

And 3-4 days is not so bad. l was getting two weeks of PMS so bad l was nearly unable to function a few years ago. And my periods were irregular, people suggested PCOS but it went away.

There are certain things that help. Some people go the SSRI route but l wouldn't do that and esp not when it's 3-4 days.

IME eating a balanced diet helps, l don't know why. It just does and l think B vitamins do especially. l try to eat oatmeal every morning, l swear l am always in a better mood when l do and have less severe PMS. l am a generally anxiety-prone person. lt really makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Wow, if this went on for two weeks at a time, I'd probably kill myself for the good of all mankind... I do take very good care of my health. I focus on getting plenty of protein and fiber, as well as having a good balance of carbs and fats too. My diet isn't bad, and a big reason for that is how much stupider and meaner feeling bad makes me. This is how I act when I'm at my best. I'm into an exercise routine, but oftentimes my evilness falls between my twice weekly sessions, and I don't really have time to add a third hour in there. It does make it better, but not okay.

Do you know what else I can do...?

[SunSparks]

Originally Posted by silverhalo

Well im no expert but im thinking if your period is fairly regular you could write down when you have it and then you should be able to predict when it will return, therefore you could then work out which are most likely to be the days leading up to it where you will be grouchy. You can then be more wary of your behaviour or see your girlfriend less over these days.

I was going to say this... not the not to see your girlfriend but to help control it...being aware of when it will happen gives you a huge advantage. When it does reach those few days, keep the thought in the back or your head. Write it on the back of your hand. Tie a string to your finger (believe or not, this actually works for to remember things)... anyways, keep on reminding yourself and you can try to control yourself and stop yourself when you see that you are hurting someone.

Also, this is obviously completely up to you, but there are medicines that you can take during this time to help calm your body. I would talk to your doctor if you consider doing this or want recommendations about what to take.

Thats about all I got... sorry. I am a guy so I don't really know how you feel. Sorry I can't help even more...