Not sure where to look - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Anonymous · 21st Jul 2012, 02:50 AM

Ok so I'm a 16 year old boy, and like most guys my age I've watched porn; but, unlike most guys my age I'm going through some... confusion. About a month ago I was doing what I usually do late at night, I was watching porn, when suddenly I realised that I was watching the male more than the female- all the way up to now I have been having the same results, and so last week I tried watching gay porn; I was aroused much quicker than I used to be, and I really was enjoying it- but the aftermath, and the confusion of not knowing what's happening really is getting to me...
Does anyone have any ideas, or have you had a similar experience?

PurpleCrab · 21st Jul 2012, 05:26 AM

Well, I'm bisexual but I get turned off by most straight porn. I guess it depends but I've heard that most people's choices in porn don't perfectly match their actual sexual orientation. Maybe it's about novelty, maybe it's about what you forbid yourself? who knows.

**Lexington** · 21st Jul 2012, 07:26 AM

Welcome, presumably, to EC!

Two things to say.

Some guys watch a LOT of porn, and find themselves getting desensitized to it. And one way guys keep the titillation factor up is by watching porn that's more "out there". They might start watching porn with bondage themes, for instance, or with groups. Or gay porn. Adding to the "naughty" factor can make things more exciting. So this MIGHT be what's happening here. Or, perhaps you're gay (or bi), and you're simply responding to what turns you on naturally.

Which leads to the second bit. Consider this just a "piece of the puzzle" in finding out who you are. Don't feel the need to decide "OK, I must be gay" right off. Just roll with it. Right now, gay porn is exciting to you. Cool. Enjoy it. Feel free to fantasize about it, too. (I'm a proponent of not just using porn to get you off - it'll help once you start actually dating and going to bed with people.

) Let them take you where they will. The picture will become clearer by and by.

Lex

Anonymous · 21st Jul 2012, 07:51 AM

Good advice, Lex. There's no need to hurry into a designation.

Most people I know are greyscale, not 100% either way - t just depends on the circumstances, what feels nice at the time and what makes you feel safe and secure.

If you like BOTH!

BONUS!

Swim2Fly · 21st Jul 2012, 08:50 AM

Lex gave the same advice I would have given you. Just do what you like the most, and try not to judge yourself for anything. The good news is that most of the things you can try right now will be neither a success or a failure. Just something to try. Go out there and enjoy it all, or at least enjoy the things that you like! As long as nothing is harmful to anyone, at least...

21st Jul 2012, 02:50 AM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,010 Join Date: Dec 2007	Not sure where to look Ok so I'm a 16 year old boy, and like most guys my age I've watched porn; but, unlike most guys my age I'm going through some... confusion. About a month ago I was doing what I usually do late at night, I was watching porn, when suddenly I realised that I was watching the male more than the female- all the way up to now I have been having the same results, and so last week I tried watching gay porn; I was aroused much quicker than I used to be, and I really was enjoying it- but the aftermath, and the confusion of not knowing what's happening really is getting to me... Does anyone have any ideas, or have you had a similar experience?

21st Jul 2012, 05:26 AM	#2
PurpleCrab A very proud dad Full Member Gender: Transgender - FtM Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone except for at work Location: Sherbrooke, QC Canada Age: 27 Posts: 629 Join Date: Mar 2012	Re: Not sure where to look Well, I'm bisexual but I get turned off by most straight porn. I guess it depends but I've heard that most people's choices in porn don't perfectly match their actual sexual orientation. Maybe it's about novelty, maybe it's about what you forbid yourself? who knows.

21st Jul 2012, 07:26 AM	#3
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 43 Posts: 14,027 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Not sure where to look Welcome, presumably, to EC! Two things to say. Some guys watch a LOT of porn, and find themselves getting desensitized to it. And one way guys keep the titillation factor up is by watching porn that's more "out there". They might start watching porn with bondage themes, for instance, or with groups. Or gay porn. Adding to the "naughty" factor can make things more exciting. So this MIGHT be what's happening here. Or, perhaps you're gay (or bi), and you're simply responding to what turns you on naturally. Which leads to the second bit. Consider this just a "piece of the puzzle" in finding out who you are. Don't feel the need to decide "OK, I must be gay" right off. Just roll with it. Right now, gay porn is exciting to you. Cool. Enjoy it. Feel free to fantasize about it, too. (I'm a proponent of not just using porn to get you off - it'll help once you start actually dating and going to bed with people. ) Let them take you where they will. The picture will become clearer by and by. Lex

21st Jul 2012, 07:51 AM	#4
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 51,010 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Not sure where to look Good advice, Lex. There's no need to hurry into a designation. Most people I know are greyscale, not 100% either way - t just depends on the circumstances, what feels nice at the time and what makes you feel safe and secure. If you like BOTH! BONUS!

21st Jul 2012, 08:50 AM	#5
Swim2Fly Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Kansas City Age: 23 Posts: 60 Join Date: May 2012	Re: Not sure where to look Lex gave the same advice I would have given you. Just do what you like the most, and try not to judge yourself for anything. The good news is that most of the things you can try right now will be neither a success or a failure. Just something to try. Go out there and enjoy it all, or at least enjoy the things that you like! As long as nothing is harmful to anyone, at least...