Am I Still Bisexual If..?

[Anonymous]

I admit I didn't know what bisexuality was until a couple of years ago. I always thought you were either straight or gay. I started calling myself bisexual this year because looking back on childhood experiences, I did have a bit of a gaydar, but I didn't think I was 100% lesbian. I've only came out as bisexual on another forum that isn't LGBT-related.

My best friend is bi with a preference for boys. She dated an ex-friend of mine last year, who also called herself bi. They broke up after a short time. It made me feel bad that two of my friends were enjoying dating while I was stuck in the middle. I was glad when it ended. If my best friend ever found out I liked girls, she would never believe me.

On to the point. I fantasized over fictional characters long before I knew what sex in general or homosexuality was as a child. I liked the idea of mutual affection for each other. This convinced me I am not gay. The only thing that puzzles me is how I feel about sex with the opposite gender. Something about it doesn't appeal to me. I haven't dated yet, but I've kissed the opposite sex. It was boring. From what I've heard about same-sex relationships appeals to me more.

If I don't want heterosexual sex, does that make me gay or bi?

[Anonymous]

Not wanting sex with the opposite gender? That probably makes you gay.

[Owen]

The thing to remember is that "gay" and "bi" are labels, and as labels, their use is telling the world something about you. And what they tell the world is, basically, whom you are willing to have sex with, because they describe your sexuality. So if you don't want heterosexual sex, it doesn't do you much good to describe yourself as "bi", which tells any men who might want to have sex with you that the feelings could be mutual.