Can you voluntarily request being castrated?

[Anonymous]

Also, will this completely eliminate any desire for sex?

[Lance]

Um, why would you want to do such a thing? There has to be some deeply rooted stuff for you to want something like that.

[Chip]

The answer is no, it's not legal or ethical for a physician to do this (except in unusual cases, such as testicular cancer and such.)

But as CarbonX said, there's most likely a bigger issue here. What's your reasoning for wanting to consider this?

[ANightDude]

O.o


Do you have any idea what castration is? You can't just go in and request in. Doctors won't ever, ever perform such a thing unless it is somehow cancer related, and even that would be very rare to perform.

[Anonymous]

My reason for considering this is because my sexuality has been nothing but a source of turmoil, pain, and frustration for the greater part of my life. While it brings normal people joy and happiness, I am driven miserable by it. I don't want my sex drive anymore because I don't deserve to have it. I'm either too ugly or too this or not enough of that but something with my body just "doesn't work" compared to everyone else.

As this is an LGBT forum, your immediate reaction may be that I don't accept my sexuality; this is not the case. I would be more than happy to embrace my sexuality in my accepting community, if someone would just give me a damn chance. I am so dysfunctional that I simply cannot initiate intimate relationships. Why? I dunno. Nobody is interested in me. I'm missing something that normal people have that makes them sexually attractive. If I approach somebody, they never want to be more than friends. I never get compliments, approached, nothing. I'm asexual to almost everyone I know. At 21, I struggle to even get first-time sex while everyone has been doing it effortlessly since their teenage years.

Why should I bother continue to be a sexual being if the clear message I get from everyone is how sexually broken I am?

I've been through the whole therapist thing three times; it didn't work. There's nothing wrong with my head. I talk to people, I make friends, but they are never interested in anything more. Everyone rejects me! Nobody could help me with this because there is no solution to it. 99% of people in this world look, sound, smell, or whatever it is good enough for sex and I don't; you, they, or anyone else don't understand what I'm going through because you were normal enough to be able to get sex.

I'm tired of living like this. I just want to not care about it anymore. The rest of my life is in order, and the entirety of it would be if I could just metaphorically cut this off once and for all. So there's nobody that would do this? Even if I flew to Mexico and/or paid them handsomely? I'll do it myself if I gotta; beats the hell out of suicide. I'm not happy about taking this step obviously, but what else do you propose? My sex drive is as good as useless. I don't deserve to have it.

[Lexington]

As far as I know, you cannot volunteer for castration. You may want to instead talk to people who might be able to allow you to lessen your sex drive, or learn to rise above it.

Lex

[DhammaGamer]

Voluntary castration is absolutely possible for transwomen. It's called orchiectomy and costs about $750. It's completely outpatient and recovery is simple. From what I have studied, it has little to no impact on sex drive for transsexual women.

For gay men, on the other hand? Castration is not something to joke about, and unfortunately I DO NOT think it would have a very serious effect on sex drive at all, especially if you are a bottom.

Also, you are still young. Stop being so impatient and don't get down on yourself. Maybe this lack of confidence is effecting your ability to find partners.

*edit

Should also state that for transwomen, there are still standards of practice in place and the requirements for orchiectomy are typically similar to those of srs. Although nothing is legally required, a doctor ins't going to risk being sued for malpractice without you jumping through some pretty serious hoops for this kind of surgery.

For transwomen who cannot afford SRS or don't plan to have it, this is often an option they take in order to eliminate the need for anti-andogryn hormone therapy and less estrogen as well as providing a healthier state of mind to deal with feeligns of gender dysphoria. Not to mention the discomfort of gaffs :P

[Lad123]

Being 21 and a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Actually there are lots of people older than you that still haven't had sex but this isn't a big deal. Btw I'm 23 and still a virgin if that makes you feel any better

Don't give up hope! You just haven't met the right person yet

[Lexington]

I guess I should point out that I was a virgin until I was 25. But I can't say I was very upset about it. I still enjoyed sex with myself, even if I had to wait until I could have it with somebody else.

Lex

[Mogget]

Having a sex drive when I'm not having sex (which is basically always) is very frustrating for me, and I can definitely sympathize with the desire to turn it off. However, I'm not sure this would do much good. I don't just feel sexual frustration for not having sex, I feel shame. And that shame is a byproduct of my socialization, not me. With or without a sex drive, I'm going to believe that being in a relationship and having sex are traits that play a role in determining my worth. There are ways to move past this shame, and I'm working on that, but removing my sex drive won't help.

Because males who don't have sex but want it are regularly shamed by most of society, we tend not to talk about it. That doesn't mean we don't exist. A lot of men, especially gay men, have a great deal of difficulty in finding a sexual or romantic partner. Not the majority by any means, but there are plenty of us. My first sexual relationship with another person was at twenty. I've not had much luck at finding sex or a relationship since then. It's not easy for everyone, certainly not for me. And that's okay.

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Why should I bother continue to be a sexual being if the clear message I get from everyone is how sexually broken I am?

One word: masturbation. It relieves stress, helps you sleep, can reduce your risk of prostate cancer, and above it, it feels GREAT. You say you'd be able to embrace your sexuality "if someone would just give you a damn chance." You should be the person to give yourself that chance! Your sexuality isn't just good for having sex with other people; you can be a sexual being by taking care of your own sexual needs! I don't know whether you've tried masturbation or not, but if you haven't, you should; to be honest, it sounds like you need it.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Owen

One word: masturbation. It relieves stress, helps you sleep, can reduce your risk of prostate cancer, and above it, it feels GREAT. You say you'd be able to embrace your sexuality "if someone would just give you a damn chance." You should be the person to give yourself that chance! Your sexuality isn't just good for having sex with other people; you can be a sexual being by taking care of your own sexual needs! I don't know whether you've tried masturbation or not, but if you haven't, you should; to be honest, it sounds like you need it.

I do it almost every day, and feel disgusted with myself because I can only picture how disgusting it must look from the outside, that I'm doing something sexual.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Mogget

Having a sex drive when I'm not having sex (which is basically always) is very frustrating for me, and I can definitely sympathize with the desire to turn it off. However, I'm not sure this would do much good. I don't just feel sexual frustration for not having sex, I feel shame. And that shame is a byproduct of my socialization, not me. With or without a sex drive, I'm going to believe that being in a relationship and having sex are traits that play a role in determining my worth. There are ways to move past this shame, and I'm working on that, but removing my sex drive won't help.

Because males who don't have sex but want it are regularly shamed by most of society, we tend not to talk about it. That doesn't mean we don't exist. A lot of men, especially gay men, have a great deal of difficulty in finding a sexual or romantic partner. Not the majority by any means, but there are plenty of us. My first sexual relationship with another person was at twenty. I've not had much luck at finding sex or a relationship since then. It's not easy for everyone, certainly not for me. And that's okay.

But why me? Why am I so unimpressive to everyone? What if I go the rest of my life without ever having sex? Why can't I just be like everyone else?

[Pain]

Have you considered that you're overreacting? Are you out there, like in the dating scene? Available, a guy at the bar...? Even if you are, you could be seen as unapproachable. You sound so frustrated and upset, and dwelling isn't going to help. Maybe lighten up a little, be sociable, look happy. People look for people who look positive, in my experience.

Oh, and you aren't ugly, I'm sure. Everyone is beautiful to someone, even if you think that's impossible.

[Lexington]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I do it almost every day, and feel disgusted with myself because I can only picture how disgusting it must look from the outside, that I'm doing something sexual.

Meaning what, exactly? That other people might not enjoy watching you masturbate? So fucking what? I'm guessing people wouldn't be standing in line to watch the gargoyle masturbate, either.

That's why I do it at home, in private. And why 99.9% of us do it that way.

People sometimes seem to think they're living in some sort of reality TV show. That they're supposed to be interesting and entertaining to the world at large, and if they're not, they're somehow failing at being human beings. But that's not how life works. Yeah, sometimes you need to (or want to) interact with other people. But a lot of the time, you're on your own. And that's "you time". That's when you can do whatever the hell you want, however the hell you want to do it. And that kicks so much ass you can't even comprehend.

Let me tell you some of the (non-sexual) stuff I do when I'm alone.

* Look for obscure records to buy online, and in record shops.
* Look up obscure bands to listen to.
* Read books about historical people.
* Do hidden word puzzles.
* Look at random pictures of stuff online.
* Doodle cartoon characters.
* Lay in bed and let my brain wander.

Now if I were a reality show character, nobody would watch the show. Who wants to tune in to see a guy read a book, or lie in bed and "think about stuff"? But I'm not doing any of that crap for the world. I'm doing it for ME. I enjoy doing that stuff. A lot. So I do it, and I don't care who the fuck knows. My friends know about me going on the prowl for obscure records, and reading those weird books that they can't imagine anybody reading. But although these aren't things that they personally would do, they get it. And in a way, they think it's cool. Because it's "Lex being Lex, and enjoying being Lex".

And that applies to masturbation, too. Not that you should tell your friends about that last time you jerked off, or what your hottest fantasy is all about. But it should be YOU time. It should be you fantasizing about the hottest thing possible to you, and working on making yourself feel as good as you possibly can. And when you're done, you shouldn't shrink away and think how embarrassing that would've been had your friends seen. You should lay there in the afterglow, with your sticky hands and whatever else, and think about how much ass that kicked. Because solo sex is still sex, and sex kicks ass.

Lex