Can I - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Anonymous · 9th Aug 2012, 04:44 PM

When I was younger (mid teens), I had a few crushes on boys and only thought of girls as friends. I'm not sure how it started, but when we got an Internet connection at home I found myself on LGBT sites fairly often. Somehow, a lot of my friends at college turned out to be gay, and there's a recurring nagging thought that maybe I'm not straight either. I've felt less and less for boys since I started college, have even felt that the crushes I had on some boys when I was 17 were lies. Recently if a boy chats me up I feel really uncomfortable and want him to go away. Since I was 17 I've started noticing girls, and that's getting much more frequent recently. Maybe reading all the LGBT sites has confused me though. Maybe I've read so many gay romances that the idea of same sex relationships seems like the norm in my mind? (My family is very sexually repressive, I never really got the birds and the bees talk from them, so I've oddly ended up in a situation where I know way more about gay sex than I do about straight). Since I used to like boys, maybe I'll go back to liking boys if I read straight romances for a change?

prism · 9th Aug 2012, 05:08 PM

Something sparked your curiosity enough to lead you to those LGBT sites in the first place. We're surrounded by "straight romance" stories 24/7, so it's hard to believe that you've somehow been brainwashed by reading same sex romances. Read everything and be open to everything. Start actively thinking about and noticing what attracts you more. There's no rush to label yourself!

Hope this helps!

**BudderMC** · 9th Aug 2012, 05:22 PM

^ I second what prism said. I don't think you can really say that you've been "brainwashed" by all your same-sex romance stories. I mean, look at the rest of us. The vast majority of us were surrounded by "straight" romance stories most of our lives, just like most straight people are too.

I think what's more likely is that you progressed through puberty and stuff, you realized more and more where your attractions really lie, as does for a lot of people. So, one day you wake up and you realize you like girls. That's cool. All the boys you "liked" before might have just been a learned behaviour; I mean, what else are young teens supposed to do, right? If you see all your girl friends hanging around and talking about who's hot and who's not and seeing them start to date, of course you're going to want to crush on guys, if nothing else but just to fit in.

I'll also echo what prism said at the end. There really is no rush to label yourself. If you like girls now, just run with that for a bit. See who catches your eye. If you masturbate, let your fantasies take over. Imagine whatever you want. I think you'll find if you force yourself to be sexually attracted to guys, even if you manage to pull it off you won't find it as satisfying as you were thinking about girls.

And if it does happen to be satisfying, then maybe you're bi. Again, no harm in that. You can figure out labeling yourself later if you want; for now, just run with "I think I like girls and I'm not sure if I like guys" and see where that takes you.

9th Aug 2012, 04:44 PM	#1
Anonymous Posting Anonymously Posts: 50,811 Join Date: Dec 2007	Can I When I was younger (mid teens), I had a few crushes on boys and only thought of girls as friends. I'm not sure how it started, but when we got an Internet connection at home I found myself on LGBT sites fairly often. Somehow, a lot of my friends at college turned out to be gay, and there's a recurring nagging thought that maybe I'm not straight either. I've felt less and less for boys since I started college, have even felt that the crushes I had on some boys when I was 17 were lies. Recently if a boy chats me up I feel really uncomfortable and want him to go away. Since I was 17 I've started noticing girls, and that's getting much more frequent recently. Maybe reading all the LGBT sites has confused me though. Maybe I've read so many gay romances that the idea of same sex relationships seems like the norm in my mind? (My family is very sexually repressive, I never really got the birds and the bees talk from them, so I've oddly ended up in a situation where I know way more about gay sex than I do about straight). Since I used to like boys, maybe I'll go back to liking boys if I read straight romances for a change?

9th Aug 2012, 05:08 PM	#2
prism ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Full Member Gender: Female Location: NYC Age: 22 Posts: 630 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Can I Something sparked your curiosity enough to lead you to those LGBT sites in the first place. We're surrounded by "straight romance" stories 24/7, so it's hard to believe that you've somehow been brainwashed by reading same sex romances. Read everything and be open to everything. Start actively thinking about and noticing what attracts you more. There's no rush to label yourself! Hope this helps!

9th Aug 2012, 05:22 PM	#3
BudderMC keep on keepin' on. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: I have caught 'the gay' Out Status: Out to (nearly) everyone Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,969 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Can I ^ I second what prism said. I don't think you can really say that you've been "brainwashed" by all your same-sex romance stories. I mean, look at the rest of us. The vast majority of us were surrounded by "straight" romance stories most of our lives, just like most straight people are too. I think what's more likely is that you progressed through puberty and stuff, you realized more and more where your attractions really lie, as does for a lot of people. So, one day you wake up and you realize you like girls. That's cool. All the boys you "liked" before might have just been a learned behaviour; I mean, what else are young teens supposed to do, right? If you see all your girl friends hanging around and talking about who's hot and who's not and seeing them start to date, of course you're going to want to crush on guys, if nothing else but just to fit in. I'll also echo what prism said at the end. There really is no rush to label yourself. If you like girls now, just run with that for a bit. See who catches your eye. If you masturbate, let your fantasies take over. Imagine whatever you want. I think you'll find if you force yourself to be sexually attracted to guys, even if you manage to pull it off you won't find it as satisfying as you were thinking about girls. And if it does happen to be satisfying, then maybe you're bi. Again, no harm in that. You can figure out labeling yourself later if you want; for now, just run with "I think I like girls and I'm not sure if I like guys" and see where that takes you.