Body Type...

[Anonymous]

So I'm struggling with this part of coming out as a gay man. I've dealt with body image issues and it seems like mainstream gay culture likes to categorize how you look. I'm 5'9" and 195 lbs and I don't think I'm that I'm too much overweight. I'm broadly built, I work out and have some definition, but I feel like I'm still seen as overweight. I don't want to be the "chub" to a "chaser" and I don't see myself as such, but I feel like I need to be categorized.

I want to start dating, but I feel like gay culture puts me into this group that I don't feel a part of. Can I be seen as something beyond my body-type? It's just frustrating. I want to be a normal guy who can date other guys without being judged for how I look. It sucks.

Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

but I feel like I need to be categorized.

You really dont. I dont even think there are real labels for anyone who isnt over or underweight :/.

I dont think you are noticably overwieght either. You are probably just not a straight line lol. I am 5-4/5 and I'm probably in thr 150-160s these days. However, I know many people who are taller and lighter than me. I'm not large or even thick, but any means, but I have a slightly higher overall body mass. Though everyone seems to think I am too skinny . So first of all, despite how much the stereotypical women raves, never trust your scale. There are various body builds, so there isnt a set weight to stay at to look good. Its depends on the person.

You wont get looked down on for not have defined fitness either. We all have imperfections, flaws, scars, pimples,..... stretch marks(Or just the painful few ) so the majority of people tend to judge alot less harshly than most believe.

And if anyone does judge you. Screw Them

[Gen]

I'll kill the Anonymous Check Box. >:C

^^^ That was me

[Orcas]

Hi there! If someone makes a decision as to whether they want to go on a date with you solely on the way you look, that person is not worth your time.

I think the most important things you have mentioned are these:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

• I don't think I'm that I'm too much overweight.

• I'm broadly built, I work out and have some definition

• I don't see myself as a [chub or chaser].

That is all that matters. If you are comfortable with yourself, everything else doesn't matter. When you go on a date, are you making yourself vulnerable? Yes. But in making yourself vulnerable in going on a date and without worries as to how someone will look at you, or what they will think about your body, or the way you look, you become stronger. You are making a statement that this is the real you.

You have already identified all of the things that are important to you. Run with them!

[Anonymous]

Whatever your shape or size, there is someone out there for you. I go for the rugger-buggers myself - I like solid, hairy legs, hairy chest, strong arms but not gym-sculpted.

I think your problem is more one of self-perception rather than how other people will view you - if you can get over that, you can let other people decide if they want to chase you or not!

[TheEdend]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I think your problem is more one of self-perception rather than how other people will view you - if you can get over that, you can let other people decide if they want to chase you or not!

Ah, words of wisdom!

Yeah, other people are going to put you into categories without even thinking about it, and that's okay since you aren't going to be dating every single person out there. You just have to "pick" the people that you hang out with and you will find someone that you are attracted to and that will be attracted to you.

Also, the concept of a chubby chaser isn't like some dude is stalking you or something. Is just some guy who is really attracted by your chubbiness. Same concept when someone is attracted to someone having defined abs. But now you know how it feels to sometimes be sexualized. I personally love it because is the only time that guys feel what a lot of women have always felt xD

Either way, just be you, meet people that you want to meet other than in clubs, and you will be fine