Labels.

[Anonymous]

So I'm trying to figure this out... I used to just be like "screw labels, they are stupid", but now I just feel like I want to have something to call myself because it is kind of difficult to come out to people when you don't have something to call yourself. They ask a lot of questions and don't believe you.

It's like I know I am not straight.

I'm thinking of identifying as queer like in all respects I suppose. I feel like that would be best. I like girls primarily, but I also like guys and also I dress masculine, feminine, kind of androgynous depending on the day. Like I would wear a dress or a suit (or like a combo) to a formal event depending on...like... a lot of things.

What do you guys think? Are any of you like offended by the use of the word queer to identify?

[SunSparks]

First of all, I completely understand the whole problem with all of the labeling. Its very difficult to pinpoint every type of attraction and orientation because its much more complex than it seems.

The word 'queer' itself and people's connotations with it vary a lot. Some LGBTQ groups are trying to reclaim the word, hence many times, I say LGBTQ. They are trying to get rid of the negative connotations it holds and there quite a sum of people who identify themselves as simply 'queer.' At the same time, there are groups out there that are offended by the connotations it holds. Its been used as hate speech and politics. Although I think that this is not the best article, you can read about the connotations the word itself has held on Wikipedia. Again, its definitely not a complete article so I definitely would not recommend basing your decision off of it.

Personally, I do use it as a catch-all type of word and I hold no negative connotations to it. Its very difficult, like I said, to pinpoint every orientation and this word helps me have just one simple word to put it all under. Others are free to disagree though.

[Ianthe]

"Queer " is a relatively popular term among femmes these days, so I'm pretty used to it.

Some people do still find it objectionable, but it's gaining usage in the community pretty rapidly.

But anyway, you shouldn't worry about whether other people object to your identity--choose your identity based on what makes the most sense and is most comfortable for you.

Queer sounds very suitable for you, based on the way I've seen it used. The only difficulty with it is that it is still kind of vague. It encompasses a lot of different kinds of people, so people will still have a lot of questions about what you mean by it.