when do couples usually start to fight?

[Anonymous]

my girlfriend and i have been together for about 5 months now. it's my first relationship too. we've yet to get into a fight, or even a small misunderstanding. every second we've been happy. we've even talked about it, and we tried looking at it realistically, but we couldn't picture us fighting, or getting into an argument.

i'm just wondering how long it takes until an argument or fight happens in relationships. my bestfriend is straight and she said that she and her boyfriend got in a fight after about 6 months of dating... wasn't a huge fight, but it was still something. or maybe it's just a straight thing? lol

[blightedsight]

when do couples usually start to fight?

Usually after someone does something wrong or annoying that pisses off the other person.

[PurpleCrab]

Couples start to fight when they start to take each other for granted, that's when.

When first dating somebody and taking them out for a drink and dance, would you start arguing over stuff? I don't think so. You'd give your best effort to be pleasing, understanding and charming as you resolve the issue and thus, prove that you can be agreeable.

That's when you loose the sense that you need to keep being pleasant and agreeable... that's when you think the other one owes you something... that the tone gets bad, matters get violent and frustration, bitterness comes along. Just remember the beginnings and keep it as such; try to keep winning her over everyday like the first time and that should be easy to avoid, that is, if she does the same thing.


Example: Me and my wife didn't agree on the curtains of our new living room. She found that keeping them open during the daytime robbed her of her privacy, and well, I found that keeping them closed in the daytime would make our home to be dark like a cave, which I really can't take. So I let her rant for about 10 minutes about her need for privacy while I thought about a solution... I proposed two... and she agreed with the second one; we'd just stretch a cloth across the lower part of the bars of our balcony and that would cut the view from prying neighbors while letting the light in!

So, sometimes we do have discussions like that and they may appear like we're fighting but we aren't. We're efficiently solving little problems in order for them not to be obstacles! In that manner, we never fought, and we've been together for 4 years!

[Anonymous]

PurpleCrab is right, and does a wonderful job of letting me vent while finding a fix for whats bugging me

But as he said, as long as both parties are open to discussion there should be no fights. However, if one or both refuses to talk/listen then fights can start at any time.

[Jada]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

PurpleCrab is right, and does a wonderful job of letting me vent while finding a fix for whats bugging me

But as he said, as long as both parties are open to discussion there should be no fights. However, if one or both refuses to talk/listen then fights can start at any time.

Sorry that was me.

[TheEdend]

There is actually something called the "honeymoon" stage when you start dating someone which makes everything you do with the person great (it has to do with hormones and chemicals going crazy in your brain) It depends on the couple, but most couples get out of the stage around 6-8 months into the relationship. That's when most people will find the disagreements start coming into play or intensify. That's also the stage where a lot of people rethink everything and break ups happen. Of course, there are always exceptions, but that's usually how it goes.

I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months now and we still haven't had anything "big enough" to call it an argument. They will come, though and when they do I'm pretty sure its going to be crazy haha Enjoy it while it lasts. Try to not overthink it too much

[Jac]

I would love to use something from 30 Rock here:

In one season, middle-aged and unmarried Liz was dating Matt Damon who played a guy (his name was Carol) that was the exact male-version of her (she's straight, but I'm sure she wasn't above stuff in college). After they had a good start, Liz's friend Jack told her that dating someone who is exactly like you is a double-edged sword, meaning that because they are like you so much, not only do they share your good qualities, but your bad ones as well.

So if the reason your relationship is going so great is that you two are simply so alike there's no way you can disagree, carefully imagine the ways that your shared flaws can create friction and work to avoid them.

30 Rock is always right.

[musikk021]

Here's a good skit type video that was made about the stages of a relationship. It shows how most relationships develop, grow, and eventually end up. I think it's interesting and quite accurate, so if you have 16 minutes to spare, I would recommend you watch it

"Strangers, again"