Does it get worse?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my final year of college now. I never really thought of my sexuality before this year, most of my friends probably think I am ridiculously shy or asexual. I've thought about things a lot in the past year though, and I think there is a pretty good chance that I'm not straight. That feels really scary, and I don't want to tell anyone right now.
College is probably the most accepting place I'll ever be in; all of my friends are supportive of LGBT people and a lot of people in my circle of friends are gay. Maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like things will get less accepting after college. This country is very conservative, colleges seem to be one of the only places where attitudes are more relaxed. And if I can't even tell anyone now, in this environment....

[rg93]

And if you DO tell anyone now in this environment, I'd probably start with your other gay friends. But don't let this "deadline" scare you, surely your friends will still be accepting and supportive AFTER you're done with collage?

[Filip]

Well, the main thing to remember here is that coming out is generally not done to a country. You don't mail the newspapers to put a big add saying "I'm [X] and I'm gay!"

Coming out is usually done in smaller steps, to friends. Often only one at a time, at your own speed. Even after you leave college... those friends might still remain the majority of your social life. All of my friends were accepting when I came out, and if the country as a whole is less so, then that doesn't bother me too much. I'm not seeking the country's acceptance, as I have it from everyone that matters already.

Maybe the question to ask here is: "I'm in an environment that would support admission of doubts about my sexuality. Which one of my friends would be understanding, discreet, and a good ally to come to grips with this?"
Then, you might want to make it more concrete: "If I would tell this friend, how and where would I tell it to him/her?"
You could even write a letter. You can trash it after you wrote it, but sometimes writing out the speech makes you realise that this really is true and that you DO know how to tell them.

Essentially: focus on the specifics, and try to leave the vague existential fears behind.

I DO think you can tell them. You DO have what it takes. You just need a more defined plan to make it so!

[Jim1454]

Everyone needs to come out at their own pace and in their own time. If you're just coming to terms with this, you don't need to come out right away, just because you're in college. Instead, it might make more sense for you to come out later.

As you leave university, make sure you stay in touch with some of those gay friendly and gay friends. They aren't going to suddenly go all conservative on you just because they have graduated. They'll be supportive a year from now or two years from now - whenever you're ready.

And it really depends on where you live and where you work - but I think society in general is changing it's attitude. You have major corporations wading in on the gay marriage debate and posting their corporate 'it gets better' videos. These companies - many of the largest in the US, are obviously supportive of the LGBT community and are encouraging their employees to be open, honest and authentic when they are at work.

So take your time - don't feel pressured to rush.