Afraid I'm going through a gay phase.

[Anonymous]

Hi there, I'm a lesbian and I'm really terrified that I'm not actually gay.
From ages 0-9 or so, I had emotional kid crushes on guys. From like 10-12, I knew I liked girls, but I had emotional crushes on guys most of the time and would repress my gay tendencies. I never really thought about guys sexually, and when I did, it would be like thinking about anything else really, and I wouldn't "feel" anything at all. I would think about girls once in a blue moon, and I would feel stuff. But I tried to never ever do that. I tried to ignore crushes I'd occasionally get on girls, and try to focus on guys and flirting with guys and "dating" guys. From 13-14, I openly accepted myself as bisexual, and kind of halfway dated a girl but she was my best friend and I was really scared of dating women. I also dated a guy that I had a really deep emotional connection with, but when we did sexual things, I wasn't turned on like at all. Now, at 15, I've had crushes on only women. I get really turned on by women, and I only want to date women. However I've noticed that I still occasionally find guys cute, not in a "get in my bed now" way, but a sort of "wow he's pretty attractive" kind of way. The thought of doing sexual stuff with a guy really doesn't arouse me at all, but the thought of even kissing a girl arouses me a lot. There was no doubt in my mind that I was a lesbian until like a few weeks ago, when I found some old diaries from when I was younger, and they were full of "He's so cute! I dated him for a while! He did this! He did that!". Nowhere does it mention anything sexual, but there are so many crushes on boys in great detail. (I found a few drawings of naked women too but that's beside the point, haha.). And then my grandma mentioned something about a guy I'd said was cute when I was younger yesterday, and it's really made me wonder if I am actually bisexual. I don't think so, because the only thing I have for men is sometimes a romantic attraction, and for women I've had both extreme sexual attraction and lots of romantic attraction. I think the term for that is biromantic, but if I'm biromantic, am I still a lesbian?
And furthermore, is this like, a stage or something? Because thinking about when I was younger makes me wonder. Help.

[Nocturnal]

I would say biromantic.

[Lexington]

It's not unusual at age 15 to not have a clear picture yet. (Scroll through this section if you don't believe me.) If you want a sexuality right now, go with "unsure, right now bi but leaning towards gay". You can tell others that, or stick with "unsure", or not tell them at all.

Lex