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Old 28th Jan 2013, 08:23 AM   #1
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Default Where to find a local gay teen?

I'm doing this anonymously for obvious reasons.

I'm a 15 year old gay guy, going to turn 16 very soon.
There is nothing I want more than to be held, I want to be hugged by someone bigger than me, a loving, caring guy who I can share everything with, someone whose shoulder I can cry on and who will listen to all of my problems. I guess pretty much anyone under 30 who can have a heart would do.

I'm just a lone soul searcher, in need of help.

Which is why I'm here. I live in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, and I'm looking for someone in their late teens to have a long-term gay relationship with. Any resources I can find to help me in my quest?

Thanks in advance, guys.
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 10:35 AM   #2
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
I'm doing this anonymously for obvious reasons.

I'm a 15 year old gay guy, going to turn 16 very soon.
There is nothing I want more than to be held, I want to be hugged by someone bigger than me, a loving, caring guy who I can share everything with, someone whose shoulder I can cry on and who will listen to all of my problems. I guess pretty much anyone under 30 who can have a heart would do.

I'm just a lone soul searcher, in need of help.

Which is why I'm here. I live in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, and I'm looking for someone in their late teens to have a long-term gay relationship with. Any resources I can find to help me in my quest?

Thanks in advance, guys.
You may want to wait until you're 16 before you go chasing that 30 year old because then it wouldn't be illegal

I don't think there's really a specific place to find a boyfriend at 16. You can't go into a gay club or (at least you shouldn't) be on a dating site because that's just silly. There's always the gay straight alliance if you have one of those at your school. But honestly, I don't really think you can push from a gay relationship at 16. I think you'd have to wait for it to come to you, ya know?

Maybe if you know an openly gay guy, you could tag along to some of the activities he goes to? Or ask him if he knows anyone that's open to a relationship.
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 12:59 PM   #3
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Even if your entire post is 100% accurate and soul-baring, it does come off like "predator bait" on a bunch of levels. So, you know, please be aware of that.

That said, we at EC can do everything but the hugging part. I'd like to think we specialize in being a great place for gay teens to tell their troubles to, and helping guide them through the tough spots ahead.

Lex
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 02:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Another thing to keep in mind is that our rules here are not going to allow anyone to post offsite contact information in the public areas of the forum, and you can't send private messages until you are a full member, except to staff. These rules are in place to protect our members.


It's likely that there are organized events or groups for LGBT youth in your area. Have you tried looking searching for them? It's good when there is something through school, but there is probably something in the community apart from that as well. Do you know if there is a local LGBT community center or anything like that?

If you want to connect with people in person, it's a much better idea to get involved in something like that, than to try to meet an older guy from the internet. That could be really dangerous, and it's also not very likely to turn out to be a long-term relationship like you say you're looking for.

If you don't mind my asking, why do you want someone older, do you think? For the most part, healthier relationships develop between people who are at a similar place in their lives.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexington View Post

That said, we at EC can do everything but the hugging part. I'd like to think we specialize in being a great place for gay teens to tell their troubles to, and helping guide them through the tough spots ahead.

Lex
It's true we only have virtual hugs on EC. But you can have those.


Do you have any gay friends? That might be a better place to start. Friends can make a world of difference.
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 03:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

I'd suggest you be careful since someone is bound to take advantage of you. I understand your need to be held and hugged though, I need that just as much as you

Here's a virtual hug from Niqk though
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 03:21 PM   #6
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Gays? I love gays! Hugs all around!




But seriously...Lex and Ianthe pretty much said what I was thinking. And if you need any further assurance, then allow me to direct you to my signature. I didn't put it there just to be pretty.
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 03:30 PM   #7
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 04:50 PM   #8
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?


Same here, I feel the need to be hugged and held too at times..
Virtual Hugs!!
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 05:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

@Anonymous:

I am so glad you found this place! We all have felt this, and continue to! People have already given you AWESOME advice and some things you should think about, as we care about your safety and wellbeing as well here. There are many places online that allow predators to prey upon people such as yourself and ourselves at other times, who are looking for someone who will care and love for us.

There is love, and you will find it. No rush. Like suggested, search out to find safe havens for gays in the area and get involved! Meet someone, make friends -- I have found the most healthy relationships develop slowly and on their own. Friends or deeper, let it happen as it may, trying to rush it can often lead to problems and more stress and issues.

We are always here for you! *hugs*
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 05:09 PM   #10
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ianthe View Post
Another thing to keep in mind is that our rules here are not going to allow anyone to post offsite contact information in the public areas of the forum, and you can't send private messages until you are a full member, except to staff. These rules are in place to protect our members.


It's likely that there are organized events or groups for LGBT youth in your area. Have you tried looking searching for them? It's good when there is something through school, but there is probably something in the community apart from that as well. Do you know if there is a local LGBT community center or anything like that?

If you want to connect with people in person, it's a much better idea to get involved in something like that, than to try to meet an older guy from the internet. That could be really dangerous, and it's also not very likely to turn out to be a long-term relationship like you say you're looking for.

If you don't mind my asking, why do you want someone older, do you think? For the most part, healthier relationships develop between people who are at a similar place in their lives.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lexington View Post

That said, we at EC can do everything but the hugging part. I'd like to think we specialize in being a great place for gay teens to tell their troubles to, and helping guide them through the tough spots ahead.

Lex
It's true we only have virtual hugs on EC. But you can have those.


Do you have any gay friends? That might be a better place to start. Friends can make a world of difference.

OP here.

1. I wasn't asking to contact people who are here (but hey, I wouldn't mind) which is why I am doing this anonymously.
2. I'm asking here because I was wondering if there was anything more universal, that's more likely to be here - I've already done my search and found nothing.
3. Well, to be honest, someone who's bigger than me and is capable of holding me (gosh, that sounds weird, you know what I mean. Like I can stand up to hug him, and my head falls to his chest) seems so much more appealing. And I find arm hair so MANLY (not necessarily hot). Now, I'm sure everyone is screaming at their screen "YOUR FATHER" but (a)My parents divorced when I was 7 (b)I see him once a month but am still really close with him (c)I'm not close at all with my stepfather, I call him by his first name (d)I don't plan on telling either my father or stepfather I'm gay.
4. Thanks for the virtual hugs - but they just seem so... empty. I know, I know, thought that counts, blah blah blah.
5. I have no gay friends - well, none that have come out to me. So I guess maybe that's why I'm feeling lonely.
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 07:49 PM   #11
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Heya. I go to school in Hamilton, so I know a little bit about the LGBT scene. The main LGBT centre/group in Hamilton is called "The Well" and it's based out of downtown Hamilton (near Jackson Square).

The Well holds a weekly youth social night, on a drop-in basis, called RADAR. It's for people aged 14-20, so I've never been as I just outgrew it when I learned about it, but I've heard lots of good things about it from other people who have gone. You can get some more info on it here: The Well: RADAR: Youth Social Drop-in Night. It seems you need to e-mail them for info as the location changes, but it might be worth checking out.

Hopefully that helps some. And here's another hug
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Old 28th Jan 2013, 10:28 PM   #12
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BudderMC View Post
Heya. I go to school in Hamilton, so I know a little bit about the LGBT scene. The main LGBT centre/group in Hamilton is called "The Well" and it's based out of downtown Hamilton (near Jackson Square).

The Well holds a weekly youth social night, on a drop-in basis, called RADAR. It's for people aged 14-20, so I've never been as I just outgrew it when I learned about it, but I've heard lots of good things about it from other people who have gone. You can get some more info on it here: The Well: RADAR: Youth Social Drop-in Night. It seems you need to e-mail them for info as the location changes, but it might be worth checking out.

Hopefully that helps some. And here's another hug
OP here.

OMG SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! THANKS SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU (figuratively, haha)!
I couldn't find anything like this, but it's so nice to know I'm not alone! You really showed me what an amazing community we have here in Hamilton! If I could hug for real, I certainly would... and maybe we'll end up talking one day! But here's a virtual hug for now!

School? But you've outgrown this group... do you go to McMaster? I live within walking distance from there, btw.

But seriously, thanks!
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Old 29th Jan 2013, 06:11 AM   #13
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

Quote:
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OP here.

OMG SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! THANKS SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU (figuratively, haha)!
I couldn't find anything like this, but it's so nice to know I'm not alone! You really showed me what an amazing community we have here in Hamilton! If I could hug for real, I certainly would... and maybe we'll end up talking one day! But here's a virtual hug for now!

School? But you've outgrown this group... do you go to McMaster? I live within walking distance from there, btw.

But seriously, thanks!
I do go to McMaster, actually.

Come to think of it, I have access to the biggest LGBT library of books and media in the area. Send me a PM if you want more information about that.

Definitely give RADAR a shot though, I've heard from many people that it's a good experience. I really wish I had heard about it back in my first year. There aren't really any other non-student groups directed towards people who've just outgrown RADAR (that I know of), so enjoy it while you can.

If you ever want to vent feel free to PM me anytime. I can't say I know much about Hamilton since I'm just here for school, but it's nice to feel similar to other people, even in a small way.
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Old 29th Jan 2013, 03:53 PM   #14
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Default Re: Where to find a local gay teen?

I would just like to say that I am happy to see that there is in fact a LGBTQ center in your area that you can attend, check out, and go from there. The best to you!
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