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Old 9th Jan 2017, 12:42 PM   #1401
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Re: The Vent Thread

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The strange predicament of wishing I was a girl. It feels foreign, but from where I'm at, seeing cis-girls live normal happy lives as girls makes me wish for the same... Is it jealousy? I have the same things they have, but cannot appreciate it. I want what the boys have, but I can't have that yet, can I? And when I am physically where I want to be, will I even know how to interact with men or develop friendships?

If I were a cis-girl, I'd never think twice. I would be happy to go bra shopping with my mom. I would be a feminine role model for my sister. I would wear cute dresses and dye my hair. Maybe even put on some makeup. I'd fangirl over things I love. I'd be a tromboy who competed with boys and played video games - but a girl nonetheless. I could make my parents proud by getting married to a man, and wearing a wedding dress. writing this... it grieves me. I can never be those things.

I should have been - no I am - a guy. A man who never got a boyhood. A guy who didn't get to cherish every crack in my voice through puberty, every hair on my chin (or chest), I didn't get to take my shirt off at the beach or rock that haircut, my dad never taught me to shave or tie a tie, I was never told I looked handsome, my parents are not proud of me, my siblings a uncomfortable around me, my name is a kick in the gut and being called a she... It's like I'm not here anymore. There is a porcelain mask on my face - carefully constructed to make me safe.

Who am I? But more importantly, why?
I understand this feeling all too well....
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Old 9th Jan 2017, 01:00 PM   #1402
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Re: The Vent Thread

My uncle decided to start texting me again, always with the fucking insight as to how upset my mum is - sorry, I gave my last fuck when she said she wouldn't support my transition and didn't want to talk to me. Since then, she's obviously realised how she has let herself down and has tried to contact me..not by saying the right thing, but by shifting blame and belittling what she did.

My life is finally on the right track and I am happy. I do not need toxic shit from my family because they are not liberal enough to wrap their heads around this.

And when they do start up with this shit, I go and buy cigarettes! So I'm venting about smoking grrrrrr.
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Old 9th Jan 2017, 01:20 PM   #1403
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Re: The Vent Thread

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I want to start crossdressing with my more male moods, but am scared to cause I live in North Georgia/east Tennessee and Don't want to get called out by rabid Trump supporters. Also, I continue to hate my uterus but can't get it removed because the south sucks.
Um, move to Knoxville and drive a truck...? ( I wish it were that easy!)
Seriously, I hear ya. I dream of moving to WNC and being able to dress however the f*** I feel like (skirt, jeans, tights for silks, whatever...) and meet someone for coffee. Something tells me that my doing this simple act might be problematic, so the dream also involves cheap land up a hollow.
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Old 9th Jan 2017, 03:51 PM   #1404
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Re: The Vent Thread

Why can't I cry when I need to!? I feel like I need to so badly but my body just won't let me! The most I can get is watery eyes and one f***ing tear when what I need is to cry. It's times like this that make the dark thoughts try to push past my defenses.
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Old 9th Jan 2017, 09:07 PM   #1405
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Re: The Vent Thread

I'm sick of this woman! She keeps giving excuses for using the wrong pronouns, like "it's my age, I get confused", " I knew you when you were she", and "you're not a guy yet", the last of which is said in a jokey tone, like she doesn't really mean it. But that just makes it worse, because it's like it's a big joke to her when it's anything but!

Don't get me wrong, I'd be the first to accept the age thing, but this woman is far from a confused little old lady. She's young enough and forward thinking enough and open minded enough that it shouldn't be that bloody hard! As for knowing me as a she, think how my GD brother feels! He's known me for 24 years and he's got it down! It shouldn't be that hard for you!

And oh my GOD would you stop trying to say what I can and cannot be!!! There are feminine trans guys out there, and they are VALID! And if I happen to go bald for whatever reason, it's MY goddamn choice to wear a hat or a wig or do whatever the hell I feel I need to do in order to feel more confident in my own body! Because you know what? As much as I've complained about my hair over the years, I do like it, and I would feel self conscious without it. So don't you dare tell me what a man could and couldn't do. Spend less time dictating other people's lives and more time focusing on your own!

Also, your "nephew" isn't a gay man. Your niece is a straight woman! And a trans person isn't only trans after the full transition, so your niece is your niece right now, not your nephew until she completes her transition.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 12:23 AM   #1406
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Re: The Vent Thread

There's this guy at work that loves to talk politics with me. Both of us are pretty moderate with me leaning slightly left and him right.

Anyway, today for some reason pretty much everyone was mocking liberals, feminists and trans people, especially non binary folks.

Later, the guy and I have a semi private debate about it, him saying stuff like "do you think transsexuals have a disease?" "How am I supposed to remember all these genders?" "What is pansexual? Is that someone who likes transsexual people too?" And then he brought up this bs statistic that 40% of "transsexuals" try to commit suicide even after they transition. Even if that's true, it's because we're discriminated against and often lose our families, etc, not because transitioning doesn't work or being trans isn't real. And I told him just that.

Nothing particularly offensive to me, and I don't think he was trying to be mean spirited or anything. It was just kinda ignorant, and I was starting to get very flustered. I eventually couldn't take it anymore and I just straight up told him I was trans. At first he didn't believe me, but I convinced him. He didn't have a negative reaction at all, it just got kinda awkward after that. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be extra nice to me after, I think because he felt bad for the stuff he was saying before.

Why do people talk shit until they are actually face to face with someone that they* like/respect that fits that description? I just hope that I can teach him to think about what he says and actually get to know someone of a certain group before acting like he knows shit about them. So hopefully that happens instead of me regretting telling him at all. I told him to keep it to himself and he said he would. I don't even care if other people find out really. It's killing me to hide it. It's just so awkward. I can't believe I finally got the nerves to tell someone at work and it happened to be the one person who was talking shit about transpeople lol. (The other people weren't really talking shit about binary transpeople) I think I almost felt guilty listening to him spout bullshit without him knowing that he was talking about me.

I don't really regret it (yet), and I've really been wanting to tell at least one person anyway. But I've been very anxious and on edge ever since that happened about two hours ago to the point where I'm almost having a panic attack.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 10:41 AM   #1407
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Re: The Vent Thread

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Originally Posted by Rickystarr View Post
Why do people talk shit until they are actually face to face with someone that they* like/respect that fits that description? I just hope that I can teach him to think about what he says and actually get to know someone of a certain group before acting like he knows shit about them. So hopefully that happens instead of me regretting telling him at all. I told him to keep it to himself and he said he would. I don't even care if other people find out really. It's killing me to hide it. It's just so awkward. I can't believe I finally got the nerves to tell someone at work and it happened to be the one person who was talking shit about transpeople lol. (The other people weren't really talking shit about binary transpeople) I think I almost felt guilty listening to him spout bullshit without him knowing that he was talking about me.

I don't really regret it (yet), and I've really been wanting to tell at least one person anyway. But I've been very anxious and on edge ever since that happened about two hours ago to the point where I'm almost having a panic attack.
You have been brave, well done
I understand how is frustrating when someone is required to know an actual transgender person to stop talking shit... I've been there too.
But you came out, congrats!

Quote:
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Later, the guy and I have a semi private debate about it, him saying stuff like "do you think transsexuals have a disease?" "How am I supposed to remember all these genders?" "What is pansexual? Is that someone who likes transsexual people too?" And then he brought up this bs statistic that 40% of "transsexuals" try to commit suicide even after they transition. Even if that's true, it's because we're discriminated against and often lose our families, etc, not because transitioning doesn't work or being trans isn't real. And I told him just that.
And perfect answer as well
That's a misleading representation, a common argument to invalidate transgender people...
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 11:09 AM   #1408
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Re: The Vent Thread

I have to go to court today for Foster care stuff...
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 12:29 PM   #1409
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Re: The Vent Thread

Hormones update - paid the first prescription charge now waiting for the service to link me to the pharmacy. Literally checking my email every 2 minutes.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 05:13 PM   #1410
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Re: The Vent Thread

My family are making things feel really hard. They don't know anything, but I was asking about whether gender neutral terminology exists in other languages (a translation of sibling, parent etc.) and all I got in return was that it's ridiculous and complicated to be neither male nor female and that you're one of the other. They claim to be ok with people who are trans but everyone's still biologically male or female, so you have to pick one. I couldn't argue with them too much or it might have outed me, but it really hurt me that I no know I won't be accepted.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 09:59 PM   #1411
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Re: The Vent Thread

why does dysphoria/depression have to get in the way of my happy mood right as it sinks in that I'll be able to transition in a couple months with HRT!
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 02:12 AM   #1412
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Re: The Vent Thread

Where's my fucking prescription. I want my fucking hormones. I've paid, waited and I can't hang on for much longer.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 12:02 AM   #1413
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Re: The Vent Thread

I am starting to wish I was gay. Well, I guess I don't really wish I was gay since I don't want to have sex with men. More like I wish women were hornier. Or at least my woman. She is really struggling to keep up with my new and improved sex drive. Even before I started T this was occasionally an issue, but the frustration I feel is so much more pervasive now.

I guess my life is pretty good if all I can think to complain about is that I am only getting laid 3 times a week. But even then, she pretty much acts like she's doing me a favor half the time.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 03:04 AM   #1414
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Re: The Vent Thread

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I am starting to wish I was gay. Well, I guess I don't really wish I was gay since I don't want to have sex with men. More like I wish women were hornier. Or at least my woman. She is really struggling to keep up with my new and improved sex drive. Even before I started T this was occasionally an issue, but the frustration I feel is so much more pervasive now.

I guess my life is pretty good if all I can think to complain about is that I am only getting laid 3 times a week. But even then, she pretty much acts like she's doing me a favor half the time.
I think you've hit the man / woman nail on the head there! 3 times a week is pretty good going. Maybe do some stuff to spice it up for her? Like a sexy massage etc. I can't relate at the moment in my relationship, as we're long distance so any time we're together she is on it! I haven't started T yet so I can only imagine my sex drive is going to increase dramatically. Have you had a conversation with her as to whether there's anything the matter?
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 05:39 AM   #1415
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Re: The Vent Thread

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickystarr View Post
I am starting to wish I was gay. Well, I guess I don't really wish I was gay since I don't want to have sex with men. More like I wish women were hornier. Or at least my woman. She is really struggling to keep up with my new and improved sex drive. Even before I started T this was occasionally an issue, but the frustration I feel is so much more pervasive now.

I guess my life is pretty good if all I can think to complain about is that I am only getting laid 3 times a week. But even then, she pretty much acts like she's doing me a favor half the time.
I think you've hit the man / woman nail on the head there! 3 times a week is pretty good going. Maybe do some stuff to spice it up for her? Like a sexy massage etc. I can't relate at the moment in my relationship, as we're long distance so any time we're together she is on it! I haven't started T yet so I can only imagine my sex drive is going to increase dramatically. Have you had a conversation with her as to whether there's anything the matter?
Lol yeahhh we've had a few discussions about it. Like probably more often than we have sex. XD I know 3 times a week isn't bad, but we live together, we're in our early twenties, we have no kids, so in my mind there's no reason we couldn't have sex every day. And there was a time when we did have sex every day, or even twice a day. Like two years before I even started T. I mean the T has something to do with it and she wants to make everything about that, but I'm like come on. We were having sex twice a day sometimes even before I started. It's not about the T. That just makes me more irritated when I don't get it now. I still wanted it before.

And trust me, I've done sexy massage and just about everything else! She does like the massage and never refuses a happy ending and will always reciprocate afterwards. (The ending at least.) And I certainly don't mind doing it. But idk if she would actually want to do that every day or if she'd get tired of it after a while.

This might be TMI but we've been experimenting a lot lately with stuff in general. We were pretty vanilla before I started T because I was not comfortable with my body, and supposedly that bothered her that I wasn't more experimental. But now that I'm totally down for whatever because of the increase in sex drive and body confidence, she's shy all of a sudden. It's like she was only into kink (using that term very loosely) in theory?? But whatever.

And you and your new lady are fucking already? Congrats! Just be wary of that T. It's fun at first, especially when you have the space to "take care of yourself" whenever you want, but when you are living with a partner it can be very frustrating to not have the privacy to do so, but also have a partner with a much lower sex drive than you. (Especially if you had a high sex drive to begin with like me. I mean it took quite a dip when I was very dysphoric and depressed right before I started transitioning, but in general has always been very high.) It can make you into kind of an annoying, desperate, sort of creature. Think of a thirteen year old boy (which is basically what I am hormonally) with a live in girlfriend. I feel almost bad for my fiancee. She can barely take a nap without waking up to me humping her leg. Might think about getting my dose lowered if we can't come up with some sort of compromise and I feel like she's actually ENJOYING sex every or most of the time we have it instead of basically wanting it once a week and humoring me twice a week.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 08:24 AM   #1416
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Re: The Vent Thread

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Quote:
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I think you've hit the man / woman nail on the head there! 3 times a week is pretty good going. Maybe do some stuff to spice it up for her? Like a sexy massage etc. I can't relate at the moment in my relationship, as we're long distance so any time we're together she is on it! I haven't started T yet so I can only imagine my sex drive is going to increase dramatically. Have you had a conversation with her as to whether there's anything the matter?
Lol yeahhh we've had a few discussions about it. Like probably more often than we have sex. XD I know 3 times a week isn't bad, but we live together, we're in our early twenties, we have no kids, so in my mind there's no reason we couldn't have sex every day. And there was a time when we did have sex every day, or even twice a day. Like two years before I even started T. I mean the T has something to do with it and she wants to make everything about that, but I'm like come on. We were having sex twice a day sometimes even before I started. It's not about the T. That just makes me more irritated when I don't get it now. I still wanted it before.

And trust me, I've done sexy massage and just about everything else! She does like the massage and never refuses a happy ending and will always reciprocate afterwards. (The ending at least.) And I certainly don't mind doing it. But idk if she would actually want to do that every day or if she'd get tired of it after a while.

This might be TMI but we've been experimenting a lot lately with stuff in general. We were pretty vanilla before I started T because I was not comfortable with my body, and supposedly that bothered her that I wasn't more experimental. But now that I'm totally down for whatever because of the increase in sex drive and body confidence, she's shy all of a sudden. It's like she was only into kink (using that term very loosely) in theory?? But whatever.

And you and your new lady are fucking already? Congrats! Just be wary of that T. It's fun at first, especially when you have the space to "take care of yourself" whenever you want, but when you are living with a partner it can be very frustrating to not have the privacy to do so, but also have a partner with a much lower sex drive than you. (Especially if you had a high sex drive to begin with like me. I mean it took quite a dip when I was very dysphoric and depressed right before I started transitioning, but in general has always been very high.) It can make you into kind of an annoying, desperate, sort of creature. Think of a thirteen year old boy (which is basically what I am hormonally) with a live in girlfriend. I feel almost bad for my fiancee. She can barely take a nap without waking up to me humping her leg. Might think about getting my dose lowered if we can't come up with some sort of compromise and I feel like she's actually ENJOYING sex every or most of the time we have it instead of basically wanting it once a week and humoring me twice a week.
When I've been in long term relationships I've found that sex drops off after the first year or so. Maybe it's just because she's comfortable in the relationship rather than that exciting time where you're into doing everything together? A tough one. Yep we are most definitely doing it, her sex drive is high because she's never been bothered with sex before due to rubbish lovers. But she said I'm the best she's ever had, so that makes me happy. Especially when we're using a newly acquired appendage we call "Little K"! She loves it and it completely eases my dysphoria in the bedroom. How long after you started T did your sex drive ramp up?
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 08:39 AM   #1417
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Re: The Vent Thread

Oh by the way everyone, I am about to lose my shit big time! Got told yesterday morning that the doctor would be in touch to prescribe my hormones shortly and I've still not heard. I bought more cigs because I'm feeling stressed by it. I should be using my vape but sometimes, I need a smoke. Annoyed at myself for breaking so frequently but when I'm on T, I will stop completely again.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 12:37 PM   #1418
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Re: The Vent Thread

Oooooooh good, i got a reply from the gender service doctor and she basically asked me the same questions as she did at the beginning of the process and that were also asked by the counsellor they referred me to WHO sent a summary of our conversation. I'm seething. Just give me my fucking hormones. You've had my money.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 02:17 PM   #1419
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Re: The Vent Thread

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Lol yeahhh we've had a few discussions about it. Like probably more often than we have sex. XD I know 3 times a week isn't bad, but we live together, we're in our early twenties, we have no kids, so in my mind there's no reason we couldn't have sex every day. And there was a time when we did have sex every day, or even twice a day. Like two years before I even started T. I mean the T has something to do with it and she wants to make everything about that, but I'm like come on. We were having sex twice a day sometimes even before I started. It's not about the T. That just makes me more irritated when I don't get it now. I still wanted it before.

And trust me, I've done sexy massage and just about everything else! She does like the massage and never refuses a happy ending and will always reciprocate afterwards. (The ending at least.) And I certainly don't mind doing it. But idk if she would actually want to do that every day or if she'd get tired of it after a while.

This might be TMI but we've been experimenting a lot lately with stuff in general. We were pretty vanilla before I started T because I was not comfortable with my body, and supposedly that bothered her that I wasn't more experimental. But now that I'm totally down for whatever because of the increase in sex drive and body confidence, she's shy all of a sudden. It's like she was only into kink (using that term very loosely) in theory?? But whatever.

And you and your new lady are fucking already? Congrats! Just be wary of that T. It's fun at first, especially when you have the space to "take care of yourself" whenever you want, but when you are living with a partner it can be very frustrating to not have the privacy to do so, but also have a partner with a much lower sex drive than you. (Especially if you had a high sex drive to begin with like me. I mean it took quite a dip when I was very dysphoric and depressed right before I started transitioning, but in general has always been very high.) It can make you into kind of an annoying, desperate, sort of creature. Think of a thirteen year old boy (which is basically what I am hormonally) with a live in girlfriend. I feel almost bad for my fiancee. She can barely take a nap without waking up to me humping her leg. Might think about getting my dose lowered if we can't come up with some sort of compromise and I feel like she's actually ENJOYING sex every or most of the time we have it instead of basically wanting it once a week and humoring me twice a week.
When I've been in long term relationships I've found that sex drops off after the first year or so. Maybe it's just because she's comfortable in the relationship rather than that exciting time where you're into doing everything together? A tough one. Yep we are most definitely doing it, her sex drive is high because she's never been bothered with sex before due to rubbish lovers. But she said I'm the best she's ever had, so that makes me happy. Especially when we're using a newly acquired appendage we call "Little K"! She loves it and it completely eases my dysphoria in the bedroom. How long after you started T did your sex drive ramp up?
Yeah, I mean I know that's normal. And we've been together for four. Living together for less than two though. Before that it was somewhat long distance.

It's awesome that your new relationship is nice and hot lol. Have fun!

Increase in sex drive is not immediate. For me it was like after maybe two or three weeks. It seemed to coincide with the emergence of bottom growth. As soon as I noticed it, it was like 0-100. Before that I was practically celibate for like two months because dyphoria was so bad at that point. And before it got really bad I was at maybe 70? It's finally leveled off a bit and I'm probably at like 85? 90?

And for me, dysphoria regarding sex practically disappeared the instant the sex drive kicked in. Kind of like it cancelled it out.
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Old 12th Jan 2017, 02:46 PM   #1420
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Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Functionally Bisexual
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Re: The Vent Thread

I'm over here like "Can mine go down already!!!"
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