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Old 19th Apr 2016, 07:32 AM   #1
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The Vent Thread

I feel that a lot of us have something we wish to vent but don't want to start a whole new thread to talk about.

Its never a good idea to keep things bottle up so please do feel free to come in here to vent about it, be it openly or anonymously.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 07:54 AM   #2
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Re: The Vent Thread

Thanks for doing this, I definitely do need to vent today.

Being at this point in life is so frustrating. Although I have my doubts, as we all do sometimes, I really want and need HRT/top surgery as soon as possible. But my family stands in my way and I can see almost no way around it. The worst thing is they've started clamping down on gender roles, and every too often I hear the you're a girl/you need to be a woman speech and it's just

I can't even come out socially to anyone anytime soon because of my safety and a dozen other practical issues and it is so, so devastating. I just want to be me. If I could throw all my practical worries away and just do a mental "this is what I want and need and this is what I will do" with my family and everything else and just go for it I would.

But I can't, and as many of us probably know, the waiting and waiting and trying to figure something out and cope with the waiting is not a comfortable time.
I'm glad I have this site though. I will always be grateful for that. At least I can be the guy I am on here. And one day I will, I will, be the guy I am in real life. I'll never give up until I get there.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 07:54 AM   #3
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Re: The Vent Thread

I dont have real hair... fuck this defective chromosome.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 07:58 AM   #4
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Re: The Vent Thread

Man, this might be like opening Pandora's Box... I'm off to client meetings at the US Air Force Academy - aka THE MOST CLOSETED PLACE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD - which is in the same town as the international headquarters of "Focus on the Family" - notorious anti-LGBT organization - among other Religious Right groups, earning Colorado Springs the nickname "The Mecca of the East." Sweet.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 08:53 AM   #5
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Re: The Vent Thread

Here's to another day where I don't feel like I deserve the luxury of being able to transition since many people can't. I honestly feel like quitting way to much anymore.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 09:38 AM   #6
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Re: The Vent Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daydreamer1 View Post
Here's to another day where I don't feel like I deserve the luxury of being able to transition since many people can't. I honestly feel like quitting way to much anymore.
I hope you don't mind me replying, but of course you do. It shouldn't be a luxury, it is just something many of us want and need. If you have access to it go for it, seriously. From one guy to another, go for it.

There will always be people at different points of their lives in regards to their gender and many people with different backgrounds and contexts, whether good or bad, better or worse, irregardless of any comparison, as comparison can go on infinitely - you do what is best for you with what you have right now, and it is to me inspiring as hell to see other trans folk either transition, or live as they are being themselves, or simply find a way to live their lives the best and happiest possible.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 09:46 AM   #7
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Re: The Vent Thread

This is gonna be comparatively stupid considering everyone else's problems but I got a haircut with my usual place. I look awful now for some reason. Like a butch lesbian. And I haven't really been able to pass for a few days. I was able to use an airport bathroom in Missouri without getting lynched so okay but TSA thought I was a woman, lot of people at the stores thought I was a woman. Ugh. I just feel too self conscious to go to a real barber even though rationally I know I wouldn't have issues. Maybe when I start T... Which needs to be soon, damn it or I'm going to lose it.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 10:22 AM   #8
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Re: The Vent Thread

im sick and tired of my ex, sick and tired of this closet, sick and tired of waiting for the gender specialist when im 'next on the list' but the list seems to never move..... AAARRGGHHH!!!!!!
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 12:45 PM   #9
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Re: The Vent Thread

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Originally Posted by looking for me View Post
im sick and tired of my ex, sick and tired of this closet, sick and tired of waiting for the gender specialist when im 'next on the list' but the list seems to never move..... AAARRGGHHH!!!!!!
Why do you need to wait on a therapist?
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 01:09 PM   #10
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Re: The Vent Thread

Thanks for the thread; this had been building up for a while.

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Old 19th Apr 2016, 03:57 PM   #11
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Re: The Vent Thread

So I watched a video where a butch lesbian was forcibly escorted out of a women's restroom by a MALE officer because someone mistook her a boy and she had no ID on her. Everyone in the restroom told the cop that she is a female, the female cop with him told him that the individual in question is a female.
He continue to call her Sir, get in her face, and then push her out the room.
Now, yes, she could of handled the situation a whole lot better than the way she did, but the fact that this even happened is ridiculous

and the comments......a lot of people wanted to blame the victim for looking like a guy, saying its what she gets for wearing "boy's" clothing.

this sort of shit pisses me off.

Honestly, we all know that if she had offered to strip to prove her sex the cops would of said no saying it would be indecent, but really they knew they were in the wrong and just wanted to be bigots
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 04:39 PM   #12
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Re: The Vent Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daydreamer1 View Post
Here's to another day where I don't feel like I deserve the luxury of being able to transition since many people can't. I honestly feel like quitting way to much anymore.
I hope you don't mind me replying, but of course you do. It shouldn't be a luxury, it is just something many of us want and need. If you have access to it go for it, seriously. From one guy to another, go for it.

There will always be people at different points of their lives in regards to their gender and many people with different backgrounds and contexts, whether good or bad, better or worse, irregardless of any comparison, as comparison can go on infinitely - you do what is best for you with what you have right now, and it is to me inspiring as hell to see other trans folk either transition, or live as they are being themselves, or simply find a way to live their lives the best and happiest possible.
I don't mind a reply at all, I honestly think the gesture is sweet. I'm just that person who has a black and white way of thinking sometimes; that if some people can't have what I do, then I shouldn't either because it's not fair or equal. I don't know what that says about me though as a person.

Am I happier than I was when I was a little kid now that I'm on T? I mean, yeah, I guess. But, it still makes me feel like an asshole that I sometimes openly talk about the changes I've notices and other goals I have---especially after seeing depressed trans people who are distraught about their "time" either being far away or something that isn't going to happen due to family matters or health reasons. I guess in a way, being in the position I am makes me feel guilty. I sometimes have this urge to drop everything if it means some trans person in trouble can get access to this kind of material.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 04:44 PM   #13
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Re: The Vent Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daydreamer1 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post

I hope you don't mind me replying, but of course you do. It shouldn't be a luxury, it is just something many of us want and need. If you have access to it go for it, seriously. From one guy to another, go for it.

There will always be people at different points of their lives in regards to their gender and many people with different backgrounds and contexts, whether good or bad, better or worse, irregardless of any comparison, as comparison can go on infinitely - you do what is best for you with what you have right now, and it is to me inspiring as hell to see other trans folk either transition, or live as they are being themselves, or simply find a way to live their lives the best and happiest possible.
I don't mind a reply at all, I honestly think the gesture is sweet. I'm just that person who has a black and white way of thinking sometimes; that if some people can't have what I do, then I shouldn't either because it's not fair or equal. I don't know what that says about me though as a person.

Am I happier than I was when I was a little kid now that I'm on T? I mean, yeah, I guess. But, it still makes me feel like an asshole that I sometimes openly talk about the changes I've notices and other goals I have---especially after seeing depressed trans people who are distraught about their "time" either being far away or something that isn't going to happen due to family matters or health reasons. I guess in a way, being in the position I am makes me feel guilty. I sometimes have this urge to drop everything if it means some trans person in trouble can get access to this kind of material.
But, you're actually an inspiration to a lot of trans-men who see you.
Those of us who have yet to go on T look at you and go "Wow, I can't wait to be like that."
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 06:52 PM   #14
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Re: The Vent Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daydreamer1 View Post

I don't mind a reply at all, I honestly think the gesture is sweet. I'm just that person who has a black and white way of thinking sometimes; that if some people can't have what I do, then I shouldn't either because it's not fair or equal. I don't know what that says about me though as a person.

Am I happier than I was when I was a little kid now that I'm on T? I mean, yeah, I guess. But, it still makes me feel like an asshole that I sometimes openly talk about the changes I've notices and other goals I have---especially after seeing depressed trans people who are distraught about their "time" either being far away or something that isn't going to happen due to family matters or health reasons. I guess in a way, being in the position I am makes me feel guilty. I sometimes have this urge to drop everything if it means some trans person in trouble can get access to this kind of material.
But, you're actually an inspiration to a lot of trans-men who see you.
Those of us who have yet to go on T look at you and go "Wow, I can't wait to be like that."
Which is the other troubling thing. On one hand, there's that. On the other, I feel like me trying to take pride in this is rubbing it in the face of others who aren't there yet. I don't know, maybe I've gotten guilt tripped into thinking this way. (shrug)
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 06:59 PM   #15
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Re: The Vent Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kasey View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by looking for me View Post
im sick and tired of my ex, sick and tired of this closet, sick and tired of waiting for the gender specialist when im 'next on the list' but the list seems to never move..... AAARRGGHHH!!!!!!
Why do you need to wait on a therapist?
lack of funds for a private therapist so i wait for one in the public system.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 06:59 PM   #16
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Re: The Vent Thread

Yesterday was fairly nice, I managed to feel a bit more connected and write and I woke up and read some nice things that people said... why can't things stay moderately nice for more than a day without everything going to hell. I feel so unbelievably bad now, I hate gender dysphoria so much and want to cry and need a hug.

On the bright side, I like this thread...
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 08:02 PM   #17
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Re: The Vent Thread

Thanks for this, because I'm really nervous right now, because there's this group that meets twice a month for queer students in my town that I'm going to go to this Friday for the first time, and I'm only out to my four friends, but have never really talked to them about it (they seem generally uncomfortable, but supportive). I'm just really nervous and kind of excited, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for my parents to know that I'm lesbian, but it's been a couple of painful years, and they have the right to know.
Basically I'm just really nervous about it, so thanks for making this because I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 08:57 PM   #18
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Re: The Vent Thread

I don't know my gender. F*** gender roles. I hate having being born male but not conforming to ANY traditionally male thing but not truly being female. I hate the label "genderqueer" because it sounds so negative. I hate being treated like a teenage male. I hate not being sexually attracted to people of my age. I hate not being sexually mature. I hate people judging me by my "nerdy guy who acts feminine" exterior to be a "cute little kid who plays with girls". I hate looking younger than I actually am. I hate not being taken seriously by adults. And most of all I hate anti-semitists, homophobes, and mostly transphobia.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 10:03 PM   #19
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Re: The Vent Thread

When I trusted my parents by dumping my guts in front of them about being trans, and they in turn stop trusting me, constantly suspect me, add more rules and restrictions to my life, and treat me like a pervert. Thanks.
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Old 19th Apr 2016, 10:26 PM   #20
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Re: The Vent Thread

I freaking suck at styling my hair. Don't know if I didn't cut enough in the right places, or if I'm not using enough pomade
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