Empty Closets Coming Out Resources and a Safe Place to Chat
Welcome Forum Chat Room Resources News Members

Go Back   Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out > Support Area > Anonymous Support and Advice > Anonymous Gender Identity and Expression

Anonymous Gender Identity and Expression A forum for support and advice about figuring out and expressing your gender identity. If you have concerns about coming out, please use the Coming Out Advice forum.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 12:17 AM   #1
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 111,266
Join Date: Dec 2007


There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

Well this is the story, I have some genital dysphoria, I fantasized a lot about changing my genitals to a vagina.

Perhaps are that after reading the risks post operation of SRS, I kinda feel scared about them, more exactly I asked myself if it was worth and the answer ended in a "meh I guess I can keep them"

I never had the desire to use my genitals during sex, but the last two I kinda experienced with and I felt good about but I felt so bad too, I start to felt like less than a woman by enjoying them and it makes me pop the shit out of me, cause I want to be a girl but I don't know how to react to this.

What are your toughts about it?
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 12:29 AM   #2
Member
Regular Member
 
jstanotherstat's Avatar
 
Gender: Male (trans*)
Orientation: Demi bi
Location: Thailand
Posts: 17
Join Date: Sep 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I don't want to get surgery down there. I'm squeamish at the thought of a blade going anywhere near my skin, let alone such a sensitive area. Depending on how T changes my chest, I may not even get top surgery, or (if I'm lucky/can psych myself up enough) opt for keyhole. I don't think there's anything unusual about either wanting or not wanting the surgery. I think it's completely understandable, given the process. Do what you feel most comfortable with.
jstanotherstat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 01:39 AM   #3
comic relief
Full Member
 
Delta's Avatar
 

Gender: Genderfluid
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone on sexuality/some on gender
Location: Northwestern USA
Age: 22
Posts: 775
Join Date: Jul 2012


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I find my vagina functional, and it's necessary for the reproductive things I plan to do in my future, so I'm not planning on altering or getting rid of it. I just don't think SRS would give me a single thing I want. I wouldn't be able to be a father that way. I probably wouldn't be able to use it during sex much. It's just not an appealing option for me.

I have some concerns about fertility after testosterone: many people say pregnancy happens on it and if you go off it happens even easier, but there's no guarantee it'll be safe. There's no guarantee I'm even fertile to start with, though. There's not a lot I can do about it with the cost of egg banking though, so I just have to deal, and hope.
__________________
"If you never say your name out loud to anyone,
they can never ever call you by it."
~Regina Spektor (Better)
Delta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 12:07 PM   #4
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 111,266
Join Date: Dec 2007


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I can't really find a reason to get bottom surgury, I'm asexual so I won't be needing to change anything there for my partner. I'm also kinda squeamish about getting surgury down there as well mainly because of possible risks to having such a big surgury and because I might not even like having male genitals since i've had female genitals my whole life.
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 12:11 PM   #5
EC Addict
Regular Member
 
Matto_Corvo's Avatar
 

Gender: Male (trans*)
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Some people
Location: South Carolina
Age: 25
Posts: 2,832
Join Date: Apr 2015


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

Currently I do not see a reason to rid myself of the mangina. I might in the future, when having sex with other men might become an issue and cause dysphoria to surface, but for now I am fine with it.

The chest gotta go for me, though. Can't keep it, refuse to.
__________________
INFP-T
Ryan Alexander
He/Him/They
Matto_Corvo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 12:22 PM   #6
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 111,266
Join Date: Dec 2007


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

A lot of trans people don't have SRS. You don't need to if you don't want to, you're still a girl whatever your genitals are.

I have a severe fear of surgery, hospitals, doctors, needles... basically anything medical. As such, any element of medical transitioning is kind of off of the table for me. I think the most I could manage to do is T for a few months in order to deepen my voice, see if I can get any genital growth, and maybe get some body hair (which I will never ever ever evereverever remove) unless I get some serious therapy to help with my phobia. In regards to SRS though, my vagina doesn't expressly bother me, it's more just my lack of a proper penis - and I don't know if any amount of therapy would prepare me for genital surgery. I'm pretty content with the idea that I won't be able to get a cis-looking penis, as much as I'd love one... I consider what I DO have there to be my penis, though. It's just a lil on the small side.
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 01:26 PM   #7
Mother of Dragons
Full Member
 
Valkari's Avatar
 

Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Asexual
Location: Meereen
Age: 24
Posts: 388
Join Date: Jul 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I plan to, only because of the expenses and I'm pretty frightened of surgery (unless it's not optional, which then may still be a no-go). I don't like doctors (when I'm the patient) or hospitals in general as well, well don't like being in hospitals. If I could have it switched without surgery, I sure would. It's the only thing stopping me.
__________________
☰ ☱ ☲ ☳ ☴ ☵ ☶ ☷
"I'm the dealer for your darkest secrets, selling nightmares to the ones in need."
☰ ☱ ☲ ☳ ☴ ☵ ☶ ☷

Last edited by Valkari; 23rd Sep 2016 at 01:27 PM..
Valkari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 05:05 PM   #8
EC Addict
Regular Member
 
Katchoo's Avatar
 

Gender: Cis-ish Female
Orientation: Functionally lesbian
Out Status: A lot of friends, AND I TOLD MY FAMILY!!!!!!
Location: Georgia, USA
Age: 32
Posts: 834
Join Date: Mar 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I have heard that only a minority of Trans people get SRS, mostly for financial reasons. There is no "should" for any of this. You do you.
__________________
I want to see you be brave.

Last edited by Katchoo; 23rd Sep 2016 at 05:06 PM..
Katchoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 05:54 PM   #9
EC Addict
Full Member
 
Rickystarr's Avatar
 
Gender: Male (trans*)
Orientation: Straight
Out Status: Just need to finish coming out at work
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 984
Join Date: May 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I'm not making any promises, but I don't necessarily plan on getting any sort of bottom surgery other than a hysto unless I get a massive amount of bottom growth on T, then I would consider metoidioplasty in the very distant future. This seems to be a common attitude among ftms from what I've seen moreso than mtfs, probably because the results for vaginaplasty are generally much more realistic than meta or phallo.
__________________
No, this is Patrick!

--
Patrick Alan

Last edited by Rickystarr; 23rd Sep 2016 at 05:55 PM..
Rickystarr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 05:55 PM   #10
This Is Life. Live With It.
Regular Member
 
GayPugs's Avatar
 

Gender: Trans Brony And AFAB (I'm fabulous!)
Orientation: Bisexual Panromantic...? Eh, more or less.
Out Status: Completely out! =D
Location: The Underground
Posts: 435
Join Date: Dec 2015


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I want top surgery...a lot. But for me, my vagina is not a big problem. It's there, I don't really care. It doesn't give me much dysphoria and I'd never, ever even think of sex reassignment. I've long since come to the conclusion that there's no point.
__________________
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/52/e5/ea/52e5eafbe9591d4aacb01393be56efd4.jpg
Drew! He/him or they/them.
GayPugs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 06:21 PM   #11
Mad Hatter
Regular Member
 
Jiramanau's Avatar
 

Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Who knows? Mostly i like guys
Out Status: Some people
Location: where all the nuts roll downhill to
Posts: 184
Join Date: Mar 2014


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I definitely want an orhchiodectomy, but full bottom surgery? I'm not sure I can make that leap. That's a really invasive surgery, and your committed to dilation...it's all very painful. And some of the results I've seen look....disappointing. ensuring a nice vajayjay means 2 or 3 surgeries. I just...ugh. makes me sad.
__________________
Well she wants to be the queen, Then she thinks about her scene. Well she wants to live her life, Then she thinks about her lies. Pulls her hair back as she screams "I don't really wanna live this life"
Jiramanau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd Sep 2016, 10:05 PM   #12
Well Known
Regular Member
 

Gender: Trans dude (pretty sure..)
Orientation: Maybe straight, maybe bi
Out Status: Out to parents and close friends
Location: West Coast of the United States
Posts: 153
Join Date: May 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I feel more disappointed than anything else about what I've got down there at this point. I'm actually almost looking forward to some sort of growth on testosterone (okay, tmi, but still) but I don't know if the current surgery options would be the thing for me *shrugs*. I've got time to figure it out haha..
__________________
Hey, nice to meet you ~ Call me Anthony, Tate, or any nickname off of either, please
Pistachio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Sep 2016, 02:06 PM   #13
Member
Regular Member
 
Gender: Genderfluid
Orientation: Questioning
Out Status: A few people
Location: San Antonio
Age: 38
Posts: 82
Join Date: Jan 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

Personally, I do plan on keeping my parts. Being still mostly in the closet, and pre-everything. The current technology and techniques that are available to both sides of the SRS perspective leave a lot to be desired. I feel that having SRS is a very personal choice, one that must be approached with some caution mostly because of its permanence. For the longest time society has only accepted trans people as their true gender if they complied with the "genital norm". This idea has been seared into our minds as the norm for gender. We all know that genitalia does not define our gender if you feel like keeping your genitals intact would be better for you, do it. Surgery should always be a last resort. I might add that my boy parts do bring me much pleasure when that is what I use it for, I do not want to jeopardize that so I can put a check box in the Normal box. No offence to anyone who has had surgery, you are braver than most people.
stoutdriver79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Sep 2016, 02:28 PM   #14
The Scaredy-Cat
Full Member
 
iiimee's Avatar
 

Gender: Trans Male
Orientation: Everything *Licks lips*
Out Status: Mostly out, somewhat stealth, and rarely closeted.
Location: In my imagination.
Posts: 1,347
Join Date: Oct 2014


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

My parts creep me out, but I'd rather have them than the current post-op penises that trans men can get... Most trans men I met don't want bottom surgery because of how it looks... Most trans women I met want bottom surgery because it supposedly feels amazing still and it looks realistic, but not all do- that's perfectly okay.
__________________
"And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains." -Ozymandias
iiimee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Sep 2016, 02:30 PM   #15
'm still trying
Regular Member
 
oh my god I's Avatar
 

Gender: girl (AMAB)
Orientation: straight
Out Status: out to a few, stealth to everyone else
Location: US
Posts: 284
Join Date: Sep 2013


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

Meh. I've always wanted the surgery but it's such a pipe dream. Can't afford it. And it grosses me out. But not having a penis sounds lovely. Then maybe I could have a sex life. But most importantly I would be able to live in yoga pants. That's actually the first thing I usually think about when I think about SRS. Jeans suck.
oh my god I is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th Sep 2016, 04:07 PM   #16
Posting Anonymously
 
Anonymous's Avatar
 
Posts: 111,266
Join Date: Dec 2007


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

There is nothing wrong with enjoying what you have, so don't feel bad for that. If you can make do with what you have, you should absolutely opt to keep things the way they are. It does not make you any less of a woman! You can always decide to change your mind later and have GRS, but you can't effectively reverse it. GRS for women is major surgery, it is dangerous and almost always results in having to have at least one more minor surgery later to correct something. It is major and dangerous for men too of course, but I don't really know much about that. :/

My parts have caused me intense discomfort all my life and my first memory is of being disgusted by them. GRS is covered by my insurance and I get to go to a very skilled surgeon who has treated thousands of patients with not a single unhappy one, so there is no question about it for me. Her results for women are excellent from what I have seen and even gynecologists can't tell the difference when doing Pap smears according to her patients. Obviously the Pap smears were pointless, but if the gyno is going to do one of their own accord I wouldn't out myself just to stop them either.

She also told me sensitivity is better than in cis women on average, as there are more nerve-endings to work with and almost 100% of her patients can achieve orgasm, so I am really happy that I don't have much to worry about when it comes to that. Relatively frequent dilation is only required for the first year and a half too as the scars heal, so it won't be a big problem for life.
Anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th Sep 2016, 12:37 AM   #17
Noodle-esque
Full Member
 
AmyBee's Avatar
 

Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Lesbian
Out Status: Some people
Location: Japan
Posts: 543
Join Date: Jun 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

Bottom surgery is always on the table for me but for the most part I don't particularly plan to. Every so often the feeling I should comes over me and I spend hours watching videos of procedures and stuff. But then I'm like, "Well, this is kind of how I am." There are a lot of things I've done physically that have made me look more like a woman in the mirror and that helps me feel more like myself, but as indifferent as I am to what I have down there, I'm getting by. I've learned a few things over the years that make it easier to deal with. I'm more concerned with my mind and soul (even though I don't believe there is such a thing) than I am with my body and my genitals less so than I am with the overall body.

On the other hand, if you told me about some revolutionary genetic therapy or something along those lines, I'd sign up for it yesterday.

That said, I am very likely to have an orchiectomy at some point in conjunction with HRT. The holdup on HRT is concern about liver and things. I was all set to go to an endocrinologist and then I balked. But now a couple of years later it seems like more and more a given if I get my finances back in order.

Last edited by AmyBee; 25th Sep 2016 at 12:40 AM..
AmyBee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th Sep 2016, 03:02 AM   #18
One who writes too many words
Regular Member
 

Gender: Transgender - MtF
Orientation: Whoever I love.
Out Status: To close family, and some close friends
Age: 24
Posts: 1,368
Join Date: Jul 2012


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I don't. I don't like the feeling of it being packed, or how it makes it more difficult for me to pass. I hate that if I ever have sex with anyone, I would have to prepare them with "By the way, I have a penis down there" and facing reactions. I don't want to deal with public changing room/toilet fiasco either.

I mean, I don't mind the sensation of using it in sex, but overall, I feel that my life would be better if I don't have it.

But that is just for me. It doesn't make you any less of a woman for not going through bottom surgery.
RainDreamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th Sep 2016, 03:13 AM   #19
I woke up like this
Full Member
 
Rainbows~Exist's Avatar
 
Gender: Female (trans*)
Orientation: Prefer men
Out Status: Out as gay, hoping to come out as trans soon
Location: Wales... unfortunately
Age: 18
Posts: 1,128
Join Date: Oct 2013


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I want SRS but there are a number of factors that make me hesitant, mainly the financial side of it + I'm terrified of surgery :/
__________________
"The bags under my eyes are Designer."
Rainbows~Exist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th Sep 2016, 09:56 PM   #20
Newbie
Regular Member
 
SkyWinter's Avatar
 

Gender: Bigender (bio male)
Orientation: Bisexual
Out Status: Some people
Location: GA
Posts: 526
Join Date: Jul 2016


Re: There's any other trans girl or trans people who plain to keeps their genitals?

I would never get surgery. As much as I sometimes feel my body isn't correct that feeling doesn't overwhelm that I don't need to be engaging in unnecessary surgeries.
SkyWinter is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Transbros and sisters: How do you feel about that? anthracite Gender Identity and Expression 22 29th Aug 2016 08:07 AM
Diversity Within the Community Careboobear Chit Chat 67 19th Jul 2016 06:33 AM
Homosexuality as sin? Uncolored General Support and Advice 14 8th May 2016 05:09 AM
Pet Peeves Choucho Chit Chat 65 22nd Jul 2014 10:51 PM
Why Realistic Representation of Trans People Matters in Media Hot Pink Current Events, World News, & LGBT News 15 16th Mar 2012 01:00 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright (c) 2004-2015, Empty Closets Community Services
The Empty Closets name and logo are registered trademarks of Empty Closets Community Services

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21