Embarrassing Health Question

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I realize there are other health forums to post in, but since this site has a lot of gay men, I'm wondering if anyone here has had to deal with any of the same issues.

I checked the rules of this forum but didn't see anything regarding about what I want to post about, so I hope it's ok. It's just that it may be a bit gross, because it's about poop, so if you don't want to read this please don't. I may be more descriptive than some people want to read about.

Anyway, I'm male, 24, gay, and since late high school and college I have had some stomach issues. Last year or so, I realized that this is probably lactose intolerance, as I used to drink a lot of milk and have a lot of cereal. I noticed that my stomach would always be upset, gassy, make noises, and I'd have to go to the bathroom after. So I cut down on dairy, and felt a lot better.

Even without that though, my stomach has always felt not completely right. When I go to the bathroom sometimes, there is mucus.

All of this becomes an issue with regard to anal sex. I like to bottom, so the way my stomach feels significantly impacts my life. (sex/relationships/general.) Before, even with these issues, as long as I went to the bathroom, felt like I was done, and took a shower after, anal sex was no problem. I made sure not to eat dairy that day, and made sure my stomach felt otherwise ok. If I felt bad or something was up with my stomach, I abstained from anal sex until it was better. The longest my stomach was ever "weird" for was a few days usually, and at the most maybe a week or so.

Recently, though, things have changed. I went overseas, and a short time after I came back, my stomach felt different. Now when I go to the bathroom, my stools are kind of...wet, soft, and greasy. They were never hard/firm and in the "normal" long shape. It comes out either in pieces, or for a while it was just really thin. The main issue though, is that I am never completely empty anymore. Even if I go to the bathroom 10 times, I can't have anal sex because there is always something there still. Always. I have tried a sort of enema for the first time ever...not a full one, just squirting in a little water, and there is always something not that far inside me. Even if I clean myself with water, I don't feel empty and comfortable enough to have anal sex anymore.

This has significantly impacted my sex life and relationships. I am no longer looking for a relationship because I can't have sex. (I can top sometimes too, but it's not my preferred role, and the men I'm attracted to are more top/vers.) It has impacted my general life because I feel helpless and somewhat depressed because of this. No sex. No men. No relationships. And I don't know if I will be like this forever.

I did see a doctor. I have been like this for several months already. I though, maybe since I went overseas I picked up a parasite. So, I recently finally got an opening with a gastroenterologist (took forever!) and they did a stool sample. So far all of the results have come back negative for everything, including parasites. My doctor said that if they don't find anything else, they'd want to do a colonoscopy. In her opinion, she said she thinks it will probably be IBS.

But I have googled IBS to no end, because even years ago I used to think I might have it. And I know people with it. And I don't have most of those symptoms anymore. I have no stomach pains, not that much gas unless I eat dairy, I don't often have diarrhea, or constipation either. Yes, I am never completely emptied, but it doesn't feel like I'm constipated; if I go, it comes out usually.

I guess I would do a colonoscopy because I am at my wits end (it doesn't actually seem that bad, aside from drinking that horrible mix in preparation), but I feel like she will just tell me I have IBS after, which will do nothing. People with IBS use medication to treat diarrhea and constipation, I believe, but those are not my issues. My issue is stoll that is wet and soft and never completely empties, leaving me unable to have anal sex. I have googled and googled and googled and I am at a brick wall, and am extremely frustrated. And missing sex.

I know this is a wall of text, but if you got through this, thank you for taking the time to read. If anyone has gone through something similar or knows what this sounds like it might be, please help!

[Anonymous]

I should add that even if I don't eat for a while, I am still not "empty." I have had sex during this time that I've felt like this in the last few months, but I feel worried and uncomfortable the whole time. I will not have sex unless I clean myself out with water first, a sort of mini enema, since I don't use that much. This completely removes any sex spontaneity. I can't even meet a guy for a drink and then have sex...if I do have sex, I need to clean and then have sex asap. This makes everything awkward and embarrassing.

[Bobbgooduk]

I'm not allergic exactly, but I have to be careful about refined wheat.

I went through a lot of cramp and difficulty, had a coloscopy (and the worst part WAS the disgusting mix you have to drink before) and nothing untoward was found. Luckily.

If you are shedding mucus - it sounds like you might have colitis. I have a friend who has it, and he has to avoid (like the plague) anything with too much roughage in it.

My problem is the opposite - I have to eat a regular amount of fibre every day to make sure things keep moving properly. I have 3 slices of wholemeal bread a day and that is enough for me. If I don't and eat too much refined wheat, I get bloated and very uncomfortable, constipated and difficulty (sooo difficult) going to the toilet.

It's made a massive difference to me.

Another possibility is that you might have a bacterial infection of the bowel and a simple test at the hospital can test if you have any fauna in there that you shouldn't have.

Stress could also be a factor, but you need to let the doctors do their job.

AS far as sex is concerned, it must be frustrating. Have you tried using an enema? Having said that, I would definitely wait until you've had tests done before you start experimenting.

I can't stress to you enough how simple the remedy for me was - three slices of bread a day wihtout fail is no great price to pay to have my confort back. I really he you'll get a speedy resolution - I know just how miserable it can be.

[Bobbgooduk]

I should also add that my remedy means I am very 'regular" and therefore visits to the toilet are fairly predictable.

Bloating might account for your feeling of fullness.

[thylvin]

ok i don't have much suggestions, but i do want to add this. Stay clear from greesey fast foods. Eat allot of fibre, which will make your stools more solid. Also, if possible, try to do 'it' in sertain set times. Your body will be quick to adjust, and it helps to set a certain time out for that, so sexy can become a bit more spotanious.

I also want to add that you should eat more natrurally grown vegitables and fruits. Some times hormoes given to plants to produce bigger fruit or veg can have some negative impact on your health. If you use some kind of medicine, see if you can get a more natural replacement to do the same job as the medicine.

I would also suggest that you go for a food test. It kind of blood test, skin test and many others, this will show you what your body isn't compatible with.

[Anonymous]

It's weird I read this had a little fun, and then went threw bad stomach pain... It was bad it felt like my lower intestants were shifting.... But idk it was me first time...

[Anonymous]

I would go along with the fiber thinking. Think about what you eat and eliminate greasy foods, processed foods and dairy.

Try so probiotics to try to get regular. This may help in voiding completely.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Originally Posted by Bobbgooduk

I'm not allergic exactly, but I have to be careful about refined wheat.

I went through a lot of cramp and difficulty, had a coloscopy (and the worst part WAS the disgusting mix you have to drink before) and nothing untoward was found. Luckily.

If you are shedding mucus - it sounds like you might have colitis. I have a friend who has it, and he has to avoid (like the plague) anything with too much roughage in it.

My problem is the opposite - I have to eat a regular amount of fibre every day to make sure things keep moving properly. I have 3 slices of wholemeal bread a day and that is enough for me. If I don't and eat too much refined wheat, I get bloated and very uncomfortable, constipated and difficulty (sooo difficult) going to the toilet.

It's made a massive difference to me.

Another possibility is that you might have a bacterial infection of the bowel and a simple test at the hospital can test if you have any fauna in there that you shouldn't have.

Stress could also be a factor, but you need to let the doctors do their job.

AS far as sex is concerned, it must be frustrating. Have you tried using an enema? Having said that, I would definitely wait until you've had tests done before you start experimenting.

I can't stress to you enough how simple the remedy for me was - three slices of bread a day wihtout fail is no great price to pay to have my confort back. I really he you'll get a speedy resolution - I know just how miserable it can be.

I have tried eating more fiber to see if that makes things more "firm" and regular. I even took fiber pills. I drank more water. I ate whole wheat. But nothing has made much of a difference.

I have looked up colitis as well, but I am missing many of those symptoms. I have no chills, dehydration, diarrhea, or fever. I don't know for sure of course, which is why I would do the colonoscopy, because I want piece of mind to at least rule out whatever I can. (How did you handle the drink before the colonoscopy, btw? I feel like I will gag and throw up.) But, your friend has to avoid fiber? Interesting.

Would a bacterial infection last for over 4 months? Would I have to do this at the hospital, or can my doctor do this test as well? (Is it a stool sample?) I was actually thinking that maybe the bacteria in my stomach is messed up somehow. I was thinking of trying some probiotics actually, but don't want to mess anything up before my doctor does her stuff. I know someone with IBS that uses probiotics, and she said it makes a difference. But you need the right "kind." Which makes me apprehensive because I have actually tried one brand in the past, and it made my stomach a whole lot worse. Even after I stopped taking it, it took WEEKS for my stomach to get back to normal.

Stress could be a factor. I tend to get stressed out by many things. However, I have tried cutting back on stress lately...trying to think about things differently, doing exercise, or taking a hot bath for example, but this hasn't changed anything for my stomach. Which of course makes me stressed out again.

As far as an enema goes, I have never had to use these prior to sex in the past. But because of this, I have tried something similar. I haven't tried a full enema, but I used something to kind of inject water and then release it. I didn't use as much water as an enema would use. This has been the only way I will have sex. But like I said, I need to do this right before I have sex, or it doesn't take all that long before I would have to clean again. And I don't want this to be the only way I can have sex for the rest of my life. Sometimes though, even if I do this a bunch of times, the water still doesn't come out clean, so I just give up.

Thank you for the response (and the others too) so far, I do appreciate it. I'm at work so might not be able to respond regularly though, until later.

Originally Posted by Bobbgooduk

Bloating might account for your feeling of fullness.

I don't feel bloated though, just a feeling where I know that I am not empty.

Originally Posted by thylvin

ok i don't have much suggestions, but i do want to add this. Stay clear from greesey fast foods. Eat allot of fibre, which will make your stools more solid. Also, if possible, try to do 'it' in sertain set times. Your body will be quick to adjust, and it helps to set a certain time out for that, so sexy can become a bit more spotanious.

I also want to add that you should eat more natrurally grown vegitables and fruits. Some times hormoes given to plants to produce bigger fruit or veg can have some negative impact on your health. If you use some kind of medicine, see if you can get a more natural replacement to do the same job as the medicine.

I would also suggest that you go for a food test. It kind of blood test, skin test and many others, this will show you what your body isn't compatible with.

Because of this, I have actually cut waaay down on how much I eat fast food, and greasy food. I used to eat out a handful of times per week, but now eat out once a week, or even only once every few weeks. I have also started eating more fruits. I am not on any sort of medication. But even with all of these changes, still no difference. This is the most frustrating experience ever.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I would go along with the fiber thinking. Think about what you eat and eliminate greasy foods, processed foods and dairy.

Try so probiotics to try to get regular. This may help in voiding completely.

As far as going regularly, I do go multiple times per day, but I never void completely.

[Bobbgooduk]

The stuff I took was sweet AND salty - a weird combination to start with, but the owrst thing for me was the horrible, artificial vanilla flavour. Truly apalling!

I had to sart 24 hrs before I was due in hospital for the coloscopy. There was pints and pints of it to drink and it was a stuggle to force it down, but it didn't make me vomit. I found it easier to drink very cold. It took a couple of hours to begin the visits to the toilet - not unpleasant per se. I had to start again the following morning with the fluid and that was hard.

I don't know, but if you have an option, ask for a flavourless version. The synthetic vanilla was revolting, both smell and taste.

The most unpleasant part of the procedure itself was having a stent put in my hand to allow for the administering of anaesthetic. I had a bad bruise there after. I was able to watch on a monitor and I found it truly fascinating to see inside myself. The procedure itself did not hurt at all.

The bacterial test - simple - you just place a scoop of poo in a vial which you hand in with paperwork at the lab (usually at the hospital) It takes a couple of weeks because they have to grow cultures.

Bacterial infections can last for months. I have a female friend who got amoebic dysentry in India and it took her two years to get over - bacteria are often underestimated.

[kitsune309]

Originally Posted by thylvin

Stay clear from greesey fast foods. Eat allot of fibre, which will make your stools more solid.

Wait a minute! Fiber makes everything softer. As in soft. As in squishy. As in if you want harder poos, you shouldn't make getting fiber your focus! That will make it softer!

Applesauce, strained fruit juices, milk, hard cheese, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, ice cream, white bread or crackers, refined cereals, cookies, pancakes, noodles, white rice, rice cereals all harden stools. They're right about cutting down on fat. The grease is what makes them sticky, so try to nix that.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by Bobbgooduk

The most unpleasant part of the procedure itself was having a stent put in my hand to allow for the administering of anaesthetic. I had a bad bruise there after. I was able to watch on a monitor and I found it truly fascinating to see inside myself. The procedure itself did not hurt at all.

The bacterial test - simple - you just place a scoop of poo in a vial which you hand in with paperwork at the lab (usually at the hospital) It takes a couple of weeks because they have to grow cultures.

Bacterial infections can last for months. I have a female friend who got amoebic dysentry in India and it took her two years to get over - bacteria are often underestimated.

Thank you for the tips. I read that the drink is easier chilled, and someone suggested using a straw to drink it instead.

Hopefully they would use an IV, which itself sounds bad enough because I absolutely HATE needles.

I called my doctor to ask about doing the bacterial test; they suggested I wait until I get the rest of my test results this week before they discuss that. I think I will do it regardless of what they suggest.

Very interesting...now I am even more curious as to whether it is bacteria that is causing my problems. It just doesn't make sense to me that all of the sudden, I am having these problems. My doctor said that if it's IBS or whatever related stomach issue, it could just have onset more noticeably, and been working up to this for a while now. I understand that...however, it was more like one day I'm fine, then I go on a trip, and a soon after I suddenly have these issues. That seems more sudden to me than gradual. And unless this test shows something, or they see something blatantly obvious in a colonoscopy, if I do that, I will keep looking because it seems to me to be something more than just a blanket "it's IBS" solution.

Originally Posted by kitsune309

Wait a minute! Fiber makes everything softer. As in soft. As in squishy. As in if you want harder poos, you shouldn't make getting fiber your focus! That will make it softer!

Applesauce, strained fruit juices, milk, hard cheese, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, ice cream, white bread or crackers, refined cereals, cookies, pancakes, noodles, white rice, rice cereals all harden stools. They're right about cutting down on fat. The grease is what makes them sticky, so try to nix that.

I didn't realize this, actually. Whatever I read, it would say to take fiber to have more complete BMs, or to "bulk up" your waste, and things like that. I know it binds to water, so I guess if you drink a lot more water it would make everything softer, I just never fully connected this I guess. Since fiber is supposed to help with constipation I guess I always thought of it as making it more solid so it all passed. Either way, I have not been taking the fiber pills since it did not help, and I am still having the same issues.

I also wondered if maybe I developed some kind of malabsorption issue, which would prevent fats from being digested and lead to more "sticky" or soft BMs.

There's just so many things it could be, but I have no idea. All I want is to know the cause, so that I can treat this and get my life back to normal, and start dating again.

[KaraBulut]

What you're describing is actually a quite common scenario. A lot of gastroenterologists are at a loss as to how to resolve the issue.

Irritable bowel disease is what we call a diagnosis of exclusion. What that means is that there are treatable, diagnosable conditions that doctors look for. For example, a colonoscopy would diagnose Crohn's disease and that's a condition that has treatment options. Once those other possible conditions are eliminated, IBS becomes the default diagnosis.

IBS is probably a bunch of different diseases that we don't understand and that makes it very hard to treat.

The first step- as you've discovered is to try to find out if there is a dietary trigger- an allergy, a sensitivity to wheat or gluten or lactose intolerance. These are fairly common conditions and they are easy to manage with dietary changes.

The second step is to alter water balance in the colon by eliminating hyperosmolic foods (common problem: those sugar-free candies that have artificial sweeteners), ensuring the person is drinking adequate amounts of water (and avoiding acidic juices, sodas and other things that can irritate the GI tract) and lby ooking at fiber balance.

Something important about fiber- it comes in two very different forms- soluble and insoluble. People with IBS do much better with insoluble fiber than they do with soluble fiber. Soluble fiber in a person with IBS can make the condition worse.

With IBS, it can take a while to find what works for each patient. Tihs may be because IBS is actually a bunch of different diseases and conditions that we don't understand very well. It can be frustrating because you do have to experiment to find what works for making the symptoms better. But you also have to figure out what makes it worse so you avoid those things, too.

Your GI doc is doing the normal stuff- stool testing and a colonoscopy to eliminate the treatable conditions. But it sounds like she's already suspecting the non-specific "we're not sure" diagnosis- IBS.

[Bobbgooduk]

Agree with Kara completely. IBS is a portemanteau, an umbrella word.

All my tests just proved what it WASN'T rather than what it was. The wheat sensitivity was something I just observed for myself. I've been tested twice for gluten-intolerance to rule out Coeliac's Disease. But I have found myself, through a process of trial and error, that I am more comfortable if I reduce the proportion of refined wheat and make sure I get enough fibre.

I can still eat pasta (don't like brown pasta) and the odd roll of white bread now and again, provided I stick to my routine of 3 slices of wholemeal bread a day, the firmer the texture the better. In the UK and NL we have a kind of wholemeal flour called Allinson's which gives a less-fluffy bread - seems to be perfect for me.

I'm also OK white rice - I don't go overboard with the fibre - which is good because I don't like the texture of brown rice.

Kara is also spot on about artificial sweetners - even sugar-free chewing-gum contains masses of artificial sweetners which give me similar problems to you - diarrhoea. So I check all cans and labels before I buy unfamiliar products. I only buy processed foods which contain SUGAR or natural juice, but I don't buy much ready-made.

I should like to add just one more thing. Get your doctor to check for thyroid function. The thyoid gland is involved with how you metabolize your food. I was 52 and had been having problems for maybe 15 years, unable to eat cereals I had eaten since I was a child without becoming really sick, and finally the doctor requested a thyroid function test. Although I don't have the easily-recognizable goitre associated with it, I was found to have a severely under-performing thyroid. I now take thyroxin, a hormone replacement, and that has had a MASSIVE influence - I sleep better, have more energy, am less depressed and my digestive system seems to be running very smoothly because things are being properly processed in the gut. Worth a thought and it's only a blood sample or two.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Originally Posted by KaraBulut

What you're describing is actually a quite common scenario. A lot of gastroenterologists are at a loss as to how to resolve the issue.

Irritable bowel disease is what we call a diagnosis of exclusion. What that means is that there are treatable, diagnosable conditions that doctors look for. For example, a colonoscopy would diagnose Crohn's disease and that's a condition that has treatment options. Once those other possible conditions are eliminated, IBS becomes the default diagnosis.

IBS is probably a bunch of different diseases that we don't understand and that makes it very hard to treat.

The first step- as you've discovered is to try to find out if there is a dietary trigger- an allergy, a sensitivity to wheat or gluten or lactose intolerance. These are fairly common conditions and they are easy to manage with dietary changes.

The second step is to alter water balance in the colon by eliminating hyperosmolic foods (common problem: those sugar-free candies that have artificial sweeteners), ensuring the person is drinking adequate amounts of water (and avoiding acidic juices, sodas and other things that can irritate the GI tract) and lby ooking at fiber balance.

Something important about fiber- it comes in two very different forms- soluble and insoluble. People with IBS do much better with insoluble fiber than they do with soluble fiber. Soluble fiber in a person with IBS can make the condition worse.

With IBS, it can take a while to find what works for each patient. Tihs may be because IBS is actually a bunch of different diseases and conditions that we don't understand very well. It can be frustrating because you do have to experiment to find what works for making the symptoms better. But you also have to figure out what makes it worse so you avoid those things, too.

Your GI doc is doing the normal stuff- stool testing and a colonoscopy to eliminate the treatable conditions. But it sounds like she's already suspecting the non-specific "we're not sure" diagnosis- IBS.

Thank you for the information. The uncertainty that I'm having now is that I feel as though the problems I'm currently having don't seem to fit the descriptions of either IBS or lactose intolerance. What you have described made a lot of sense for me a while ago, when I was still having issues like bloating, cramps, gas, and diarrhea. I started watching my diet and looking for trigger foods, and stopped eating certain foods. This was mid-to end of last year, though. After I cut down on milk, ice cream, some kinds of sauce, and other foods that I noticed bothered me, I felt a LOT better. I still had the occasional stomach thing, and mucus, so I still might have IBS or something that is irritating my stomach, but for the most part, I was doing a whole lot better.

My recent issues started towards the end of February / early March, after I came back from a trip to another country. (I can't say that is for sure the trigger, but it seems so coincidental. Which had me thinking about it being a parasite, which my test showed negative for, but now has me thinking about what Bobbgooduk mentioned regarding a possible bacterial infection.)

I am not having bad cramps anymore unless I would cheat and eat something I wasn't supposed to. Not a ton of bloating or gas, or anything else. Simply that my stool is too soft/wet/sometimes a little greasy, and there is ALWAYS something not that far up my rectum that should not be there, and does not vacate, no matter how many times I use the bathroom. Not to be too descriptive, but I can go to the bathroom 3 times in a row, and then "test" myself using a toy, and I am never clean. Never, unless I use water to clean myself out, and even then, it only lasts for a short time. I would be uncomfortable being this descriptive with my doctor but have no idea what this problem could be. Does it still sound like IBS? Something bacterial? I of course still have to get tested and everything, but would IBS medication, or possibly probiotics possibly work for something like this? I guess the solution would be something that firms up my stool so that whnen I use the bathroom, I vacate completely and "normally."

Originally Posted by Bobbgooduk

I should like to add just one more thing. Get your doctor to check for thyroid function. The thyoid gland is involved with how you metabolize your food. I was 52 and had been having problems for maybe 15 years, unable to eat cereals I had eaten since I was a child without becoming really sick, and finally the doctor requested a thyroid function test. Although I don't have the easily-recognizable goitre associated with it, I was found to have a severely under-performing thyroid. I now take thyroxin, a hormone replacement, and that has had a MASSIVE influence - I sleep better, have more energy, am less depressed and my digestive system seems to be running very smoothly because things are being properly processed in the gut. Worth a thought and it's only a blood sample or two.

I had thought of a thyroid issue too, but I thought that was tested for in my blood test as well. I can't remember if my doctor mentioned that specifically. If I can find a copy of my blood test results, would you know what to look for on there that would show whether or not my thyroid function was tested for?

Just wanted to say thank you for the replies and information again, I do really appreciate it.

[Bobbgooduk]

Hi there!

You need to look for references to T3 or T4 and free T4. There are 2 thyroid hormones, hence the T3 and T4.

You can also do a body-temperature test as the thyroid function affects the temperature at which your body operates. You need to take your temperature as soon as you wake up (i.e. before you start moving about, so do it in bed) and if you can see that your body temperature is significantly lower than the "normal" body temperature over a period of days, it might indicate that the thyroid is not functioning optimally.

Taking temp. is not as accurate as the blood test, but you can try it while you're waiting. You need to take your temp at the same place on your body each time. Anal temp. is the most reliable, but I didn't fancy that so you can then do it orally under the tongue or axially under the arm-pit. You can't compare temps taken from different places.