Afraid of being straight, but sometimes feel i shouldn't be gay

[Anonymous]

hi, i kinda just want to say and possibly get advice about how i have recently been afraid of not being gay anymore. I like being attracted to guys now, as i used to not want to be gay, and sometimes i worry about starting to want heterosexual sex. Is it kinda weird for me to feel like this?

Also, i sometimes feel like i shouldnt be gay. All other gay people i've met are kinda obviously gay. i feel like i'm the only gay guy who is so far from the "stereotypical gay guy". I really want a boyfriend, but all the gay guys i've seen i feel are too "gay acting(??)" for me. :shrug:

[Brett]

Well first of all, there's nothing wrong with that! Alot of peple feel that way. I know that I do every now and then. The urges just aren't very strong though.
And secondly, IDK what to tell you about the boyfriend thing. But don't date a flamboyant guy if that's not what you like. Just keep hunting, and you'll find the right guy eventually! :D
Good luck with that!!!
-BreTt

[joeyconnick]

You're not even remotely the only non-stereotypically gay guy... it's just that people who have recently come out can only spot people who are obviously gay.

It's not weird to suffer some doubt regarding being gay early on after first coming out; there's a lot of social pressure telling us that being hetero is normal/natural/the only one true way to live/be. But unless you're seriously bi, then it's pretty unlikely you're going to develop a strong yearning for heterosexual sex. Kinda like people who are straight don't realy develop a strong yearning for gay sex.

You might also find as you get more comfortable with your sexuality that guys who are more "gay acting" don't bother you so much.

[otc877]

hi, i kinda just want to say and possibly get advice about how i have recently been afraid of not being gay anymore. I like being attracted to guys now, as i used to not want to be gay, and sometimes i worry about starting to want heterosexual sex. Is it kinda weird for me to feel like this?

Also, i sometimes feel like i shouldnt be gay. All other gay people i've met are kinda obviously gay. i feel like i'm the only gay guy who is so far from the "stereotypical gay guy". I really want a boyfriend, but all the gay guys i've seen i feel are too "gay acting(??)" for me. :shrug:

That's exactly how I used to feel. Felt like there was nobody else out there who was like me. Felt like you would never find another non stereotypical gay person.

Well, as others have said. We exist :). We're just harder to find, because we don't match the stereotypes...

I know exactly how you feel, I've been down that road too. If you want to talk about it more privately, feel free to PM me.

[Zec24]

Yeah, I've felt that way off and on for the past two years. Since I actually came out I've had times of doubt. I thought I was the only one, but you captured what I was feeling pretty well.

It's confusing. There are times when I'm absolutely sure of myself, and then there are times when I wonder if I will eventually end up liking guys. But hey, I'm 22, I think I'm probably too old to really change that much. I think my confusion came from my parents. Until I came out to them and they started questioning how I could be sure, I never really questioned my orientation as much.

In the back of my mind, I'll always be afraid I'll someday turn out to be straight. Does that say something about me, or is it some irrational fear? Probably irrational fear. I have to believe that it's ridiculous, but still I feel that way nonetheless. It's weird. You're not alone though.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies everyone, they have helped (*hug*)

[Jonnnnn16]

Just be yourself!

[Anonymous]

I sometimes get strange yearnings for straight sex too and it is all very confusing. I find it best not to think about labels too much, just to see how things pan out.