Is It Wrong?

[Anonymous]

Is it wrong to be in love with someone straight but you know you can't have but yet that doesn't stop you loving them?

And what would you do in that situation?

[Quitex]

Ahoy there :)

It is not wrong, that should be a "crush" and you should study your situation. If he is straight and very straight, you should not even try and flirt with him, at the end it may hurt you. But if you have your doubts, hang around with him. The best thing to do is to give it a try, and if it is obvious it won't work, get away from him and get over it.

Good luck! :D

[Lexington]

Feelings can't be wrong.
Only actions can.

There is nothing wrong with falling in love with a straight guy.
Acting on those feelings can be very wrong. Stalking him, attempting to get him drunk so you can make a move, spying on him, attempting to convince him to "give it a chance" when it's clear that he doesn't...all these are way wrong.

Since the feelings can't be returned, your best bet is to try to move beyond them. Minimise your contact with your crush, maximize your interaction with other people, and stay busy. Eventually, your mind and heart will move on.

Lex

[pirateninja]

Oy gevalt, if there's one subject I know, it is this. I'm probably an expert on this by now. :D

I'll call this person S, just in case (although I doubt it) that she gets linked back to here. I had a crush on S about 4 years ago, about when I was 13. And I didn't tell her, for two years of all things. And then someone told her for me. We're still friends, but it's been two more years and I still can't change how I feel about her, and the length of time I let it go on, I doubt I will.

But I know I can't have her, so why do I still like her?

Thing is, I never let myself move on. If this is a fairly recent crush, all I can say is if you can move on, then do. Because if you just leave it for ages, then it becomes more and more difficult to let go.

For the meantime, there's no harm in just having these feelings, but as Lex said, it can be harmful to act upon these. But you do have to remind yourself that nothing will come of it, and try and find someone else.

[Paul_UK]

I've been there, too many times (see my latest blog entry). Your head says that you are wasting your time, nothing can possibly happen, you should move on and forget him etc, but your heart won't listen.

I cannot add anything to the excellent advice above (from Lexington and Pirateninja) but I cam sympathise.

[Asteroid]

I can't add anything else to the excellent advice given in the previous posts.

But I can relate to that. I had once a crush on a straight guy. It was hard to forget because I wanted it so bad. I just kept saying to myself that it won't happen but every time I saw him it was like I am falling in love all over again. Knowing that it won't happen I tried to move on as best as I could. After a while (as other events and friends took hold in my life) I forgot all about him.

If something like this happens to me I just try to keep myself busy. I find that it usually works...

[Anonymous]

it it wrong to want to rape someone and then slit their throat at the point of climax?
(1984^^^^ a book reference)

[Lexington]

Only if you've neglected to give him a safety word.

Lex