weird dreams... fantasies

[Anonymous]

ok, so i guess im just looking for conformation that this is normal, or some advice. I have these dreams that i am getting raped. and i like it. obviosly i dont really wanna get raped in real life, but is it normal to have those kind of, er,... fantasies??

[LOVEjames]

It could mean that you're into the more masochistic types of sex. S&M, being told what to do, that type of stuff. Although some people do have fantasies where they want their partner to actually rape them consensually.

[joeyconnick]

Except you can't actually be raped "consensually" because the very definition of rape is sex without consent. So the most you could do is pretend you weren't consenting.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having rape fantasies... it's a little hardcore but hey, it's fantasy, right? It might have to do with sexual stuff or it might actually be symbolic of other stuff in your life, even. I would guess it's probably something to do with power or control but that's just a guess.

But yeah there are plenty of people who have fantasies involving situations where they are essentially at someone else's mercy. For a lot of people sex is often about control and lack of control and taking control and losing it or giving it up so I don't think your dreams are particularly weird.

[HalfInsane]

I've had a few dreams where I get raped and like it... I also have had ones in which I'm being raped and don't like, so hey. But, you're not the only one. I have a number of friends who've had similar dreams (yes, my friends and I will talk about almost anything :lol:) so, at least in my experience, it's not that uncommon.

But, you think about it, and your dream isn't really true rape anyways... since if it was true rape, you wouldn't like it. It's more like really forceful sex. I wouldn't say it was really any different than any other sexual fantasy type dream, to be honest. I don't think there's any need to worry about it.

[LOVEjames]

Like normal, Wiki answers all. <3

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_fantasy

[Lexington]

Fantasy is just that - fantasy.

I've fantasized about getting raped by a dozen guys, and about raping a dozen guys.
I've fantasized about tying someone up, and getting tied up.
I've fantasized about men, women, aliens, mutants, statues, robots, and cartoon characters.
Singly, doubly, and in groups.

What's it mean? It means I've got an active imagination, that's all. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

i dreamed i had sex with this whore girl right after my mom did! :roflmao: its normal!

[Anonymous]

Don't worry...a lot of people have that.

I love rape fantasies and I'm really into dominance and S&M. It just really turns me on.

[ccdd]

I shouldn't worry about it.

For one thing, dreams are beyond your control, and don't mean anything.

But ultimately I would say that fantasies are often a place where we play out scenarios which are impossible, risky, or uncontrollable in real life. And in some cases, where not just for the thrill, they enable us to control in our heads and fantasies what we may actually be afraid of in real life. Thus in our fantasies we might have sex with someone who is married, too old, or even a whole group of people at once in a public place. And amongst these sorts of fantasies are ones involving pain, violence and forced sex. But by acting them out in our dreams and fantasies we are ultimately neutering the situation, enabling us to "participate" in these activities, except in a way where ALL risk, pain and force is in fact absent, and where, in fact, we have complete control. The same actually goes for S&M and Bondage, where trust that certain boundaries will not be crossed, I believe, are meant to be at the centre - again, there is control, even though sometimes seemingly absent.

The paradox in your case is between the non-consensual fact of rape, and the total control your psyche has over the situation. The two situations, being raped, and fantasising about being raped, are TOTALLY different. In one, you have NO control, in the other, you have ALL control.

And from the fantasy we get the sexual thrill or excitement, but without the pain, risk, and lack of control that would accompany the situation in real life. The fact is, if these are fantasies whilst you are awake (such as during masturbation), then you are completely in control, and what you are experiencing is a thrill and rush in a completely safe and controlled environment, which actually bears no resemblance to the sort of circumstances that you are imagining.

Does this make sense? So don't worry about it. I think it's perfectly normal for many people.