Should I even bother?

[Cloud Nine 5]

I started talking to some nice good looking guy. He cut our second convo short because I didn't send a pic and said I can get back to him when I have a pic because he's not into these childish things. He stopped talking after I told him I really don't have one right now, so is it even worth it? Now, I really don't have a pic. Should I even bother getting a pic and sending it to him with that attitude? Looks desperate but then again he's in the closet, lives near me, I saw his pic and he hasn't seee mine yet.

[Sam]

I wouldn't even bother if he is only concerned with what you look like he doesn't seem like a very nice person on top of the fact that he basically called you childish in a way because you didn't have a pic

[nisomer]

i agree, dont bother with him.

[Cloud Nine 5]

I don't know how well I put it the first time so again... usually I'd blow him off but the conversation was actually really good and he's from my area. He still goes to school so the idea that someone around his age close to where he lives and possibly in his school has his pic and knows he gay, while he has no idea who I am probably sucks. I'd get paranoid too.

We started talking and he asked me how content I was about being gay, because he's had it with extreme closet cases that are paranoid about everything. I said I'd send a picture later (1-2 days max) and we talked for hours. It's been a few days and I didn't have a picture, plus he misunderstood something and thought I lied twice.

"I understand you, really... I'm not going anywhere. When you're ready to send me a pic, I'm here. I've had many childish picture games and it drags on and on and the pics never come. Until then I don't think we should keep talking here, don't you agree?"

Maybe it's the fact I could be someone from his school that he's worried about cause I'd be the same (he did want me to call him after the first convo, even though I had no pic). Or maybe he's not that serious and this attitude won't connect well with mine. What if I send a pic and he prefers something else? It's like, the talk was good, I liked his pic and now he has to like my pic for it to go somewhere? I'm not insecure at all about my looks but this whole thing is ridiculous.

[Cloud Nine 5]

By the way "extreme closet cases that are paranoid about everything" = people that never send pics.

[Proud1p4]

Just presenting his side of the argument, or from what i can best understand. I think he's worried about pedophiles possibly, and maybe he's a little more forward than most....however unless there is a certain bias to the quotes you gave us, they sound pretty harsh. So if they are in fact, his, then i don't think he's worth pursuing because from what little i've seen about your personality through your posts....i doubt he's your type.

[Cloud Nine 5]

Nah, I don't think it's about pedophiles. There's no bias, he thought I lied about 2 things when I only "lied" once about having pictures the next day.

I only posted one actual quote. Maybe I made the rest sound harsher. In the beginning of our first convo when I didn't have a pic he said right away "I'm really really sorry but I'm really over the closet games that it will take forever to see who you are... that happened to me before =/ So are you like that?" We talked for 3 hours about other things so he's not that bad.

I can't tell if he's just worried I'm pranking him when I'm someone he knows (I'd be wary too) or because he's an ass. Either way I'm not looking for a husband and we're young so it doesn't have to be that deep, BUT this situation is lame. I know I'd be the same as him but he doesn't have the closet issues I have. He's the first gay person I talked to that's in my area, fun talking to, around my age, and isn't fem.

Whatever you see in my posts is not how I present myself at all. I may be hard on myself here = inside issues, but when it comes to others in real life, no one gets to see it.

[tinkerbell]

I don't have a web-cam or digital camera, and girls shout (online) at me for it all the time. Even if I did have a digital camera, I wouldn't know how to post the pictures anyway! All this howling about pictures, validity of the person online has upset me for as long as I have used the internet socially--four years now. My ex got so mad at me that I didn't have a picture to send her that she blocked me from her MySpace. Not the biggest deal in the world, particularly because she had already broken up with me, but I was offended because it's one of the few ways I communicate with her.

[Cloud Nine 5]

He removed his picture from his online dating profile. Is he actually scared that I might know him or what!? That's really dumb... ugh. On that long first convo he told me something I could use to find out who he is so maybe he's afraid I'll out him now. He's so off. =/

LOL tinkerbell how come your ex never saw your pic? I don't get it.

[Micah]

Most people see images as a form of identification verification. There are too many people out there claiming to be people they arent these days, and getting a photo (usually a series of photos) is a step towards that verification.

Obviously you can send pictures of someone else, but thats a different story.

Also - look at it from his view. He may be perusing a serious relationship (be that friendship or otherwise) and by sending you his picture, hes shown that he trusts you. You haven't returned the favour - so the demonstration of that trust wasnt returned.

Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to send your picture, but don't promise him a picture if you don't intend on sending one. Instead, explain to him why you don't feel comfortable sending him a picture - just so theres no misunderstanding.

-on a side note- you may feel that 19 years old is too young for a serious relationship, but there are lots of guys who are around that age and want a long term boyfriend (myself included). But keep in mind that trust is also needed in a friendship, not just amongst boyfriends--

[Will1975]

I think Dave hit it on the head. If you want to really connect with someone... there needs to be some trust.. You can't trust people on the internet right off the bat... Don't tell someone that you will send pics and then not do it... That is an immediate red flag.. and then you figure there is very little emotional investment at this stage, which means if he thinks you are lying he can easily cut you off... I would say if you really want to find someone you need to be 100% yourself...

Well that's what I have to say...

[Cloud Nine 5]

That's true. I didn't lie though, I say I'd send him a pic tomorrow or 2 days from now and after 3 days no pic. I actually really don't have a pic, I'd have no problem sending it. I can get one.

He didn't send me his pic, it was on his profile and now he took it off because he's probably overly susicious. Online misunderstandings suck. I'm not 19 too, I'm 17. I have never even had a boyfriend.

[Cloud Nine 5]

Ooookay... a little update. Tell me if I'm paranoid or not...

2 days after thatguy freaked out that I know him and removed his picture from his profile, someone else sent me a message on that dating website. It's suspicious because he's 21, has pictures on his profile and plenty of gay friends and many pics on party websites. 10 words later, he wants a pic... For a second I was glad cause he looks good and I've seen some pics of him before on party websites, and I finally had a pic to send, but isn't it an obvious setup?

All my profile says is "in the closet", and there's no picture or anything about my personality like a blog.. many people send messages regardless of all that but they're in the closet and don't have pics themselves. What could he possibly search for that would put my profile in the results?