Group vs one-on-one

[goratrix]

So. For those of you who have more experience than me (basically anyone) in coming out.

I have a group of friends, about 4 close friends, and 10 not-so-close ones. I already told one of my closest friends, and soon I'll be telling her bf (another one of my closest friends). My question is about the rest of them. Does a group coming out work?. Like, 'hey guys, you know... I'm gay' in the middle of an RPG session or something like that. If so, should I ask those who know to be present?

I am really looking forward to create the coming out ideas section... I could use(abuse) it a little right now.

Oh, yeah... and what about new relationships? I'm in my first year at college, and I'm meeting some pretty wonderful people, and there is this girl... that all my friends think I like (if they only knew) just because I joke with her, and have pointless discussions about morphogenetic fields, and Einstein's relativity theory (don't ask!). And I DO like her, but not in the way my friends think. I like her because she's smart, she's not a shallow person, and I feel that I can talk to her. Still, I don't want to build a friendship over a lie, and I don't know how to avoid it. I could come out to her, but I'm not nearly prepared to do so... specially there, in college (Catholic University, with the new pope Mazinger Z.... not such a great idea)


Ok, sorry to wander so much from subject to subject... I now need to go and get my Ati Radeon 9800 pro working on linux so I can play Tuxracer...

Oh, and thanks you all! you are a GREAT support for me in these, my darkest days.

[tinkergeek]

I don't suggest a group coming out. Instead of dealing with reactions in a controlled manner, they'll all mix. If they are all supportive, it would be great. If you have one downer in the group, you might get factions forming and something bad could result. Maybe if you told all your close friends, and then did the rest in small groups, it would be better... Though, I'd take the time and do it individually to show that you care about each and everyone of your friends.

As for telling new friends, I wouldn't great new people with "Hi, I'm Bob and I'm gay," but you should definately tell her/him. I wouldn't just spring it, but as soon as the topic comes up, drop the bombshell. Building relationships is only done on truth.

As for Tuxracer and Linux, go you!

[popboy]

Goratrix, I wouldn't play with group dymanics... one of the possible outcomes is the one tinkergeek talked about, and in my point of view it doesn't worth taking your chances.
Regarding building a friendship over a lie... I don't think keeping some parts of yourself private makes you a liar. You would be lying if you were pretending you are something else. It doesn't seem to the case after reading your post. Unless your new friend has other interests in you besides your friendship, of course.

[goratrix]

She doesn't. At least she claims she doesn't. And I don't think she's the kind that would fall for someone like me so fast. I do know that she likes me as a friend... but who knows...

Anyway... I don't know what to do... so I'll do the safest thing... keep everything as it is for as long as it holds... then I will deal with it when it becomes imposible to avoid, or I am ready... whichever comes first.