Dad Got Anrgry!

[Trent13]

Ok so my mum and dad are not together any more right, so this weekend im at dads right.

Before we were eating tea (Myself, my sister my father and his girlfriend) she asked me if i had been doing my face. By that his meaning cleaning it with stuff to make it non greasy and less pimples. And from that it lead to myself not having much time to do it in the morning when im at mums. And after he kept repeating him self about the same stuff, he was talking about time, how much time did i have to get ready in the morning, and i told him that i now have to walk beacuse my bike's back tyre had buckeld.

Then from my bike tyre beeing buckeld, it lead to how it got buckeld, bullies kicking and raming my bike with their's. And then he went on about me having to tell people about it, in which i had done so but you know these day's people dont listen to you, expesily teachers (but not some teachers, some are very helpful) so when i told the teachers they did nothing about it.:icon_sad:

If he had known about the stress of being gay and not being able to tell anyone about it because you dont want to know what they think of you.

Now i really want to tell my sister, but i dont know how!:icon_sad:I was going to tell my dad because he knew some thing was up because he said that i have been acting strange for the last month, and that is happening at my mums. The other night she said that i was very quiet, and asked me if anything was up. Then i really wanted to come out then. But then if i did she would tell everyone i her office at work. Which i didnt want to happen.

I need help. BADLY!!
I dont know how to do anything, its like being a no body (which i already was)

GRRRRRRRR
Plz Help me!:help::help::help::help::help::tears::tears::te ars:

[Trumpetplyer23]

What I did, before I came out to my parents, I found out their views on homosexuality. That's basically the only way that you'll be able to figure out if they'll accept you or not. Same goes for your sister.

Here's one thing I caution you about. If you and your dad are arguing, don't come out to him then. Most things said in anger will only get countered with anger, it's just how it works. Trust me, it happened to me and I wish I could fix the situation.

Good luck :)

[Trent13]

Kay, thanks
Any If when i come out to my dad it would be out the back with the fire where everyone is normly carm. Or i would come out to his girlfriend when she goes out for a smoke. And maybe ask her not to tell my dad till im ready?

[Trumpetplyer23]

Yeah, just wait for a mellow time and say "Hey dad, I've got to tell you something" and tell him. Or you could write him a note, leave somewhere he can find it maybe, an hour before you go back to your mom's.

[Trent13]

Yeah maybe.
Or i could just e-mail him when i have some time at school e-mail him from the scholl e-mail styem im thinking of doing that to my mum..

[Trumpetplyer23]

Yeah. Whatever feels best for you dude.

Good luck :thumbsup:

[Louise]

Sounds like you dad is quite worried about you at the moment and the changes he has seen in your behaviour. Do you have any reason to think he is homophobic? If not and you feel ready it might just be the time to tell him and this will explain a lot of things to him and he might be able to give you the support you need.

Gumtree started a very good thread the other day that you could look at, it has three links in it to support for parents. If you give your dad the information he will need he will see you as acting in a mature and responsable manner and he might be able to avoid the 'its a phase' type reponse which upsets so many people. This will also help him to come to terms with the news you are telling him.

Good luck.

[Lexington]

>>>"... not being able to tell anyone about it because you dont want to know what they think of you."

Trent, just so you know, this isn't just a gay thing. Everybody worries about how they're perceived. People change their hair, their clothing, their bike, their car, their hobbies - all in an effort to "fit in". So others will think they're OK.

Yeah, it's perhaps a bigger deal with gays. There are people who will shun us completely when they find out we're gay - there's a lot fewer who will shun us because of what shirts we wear. But the idea is the same, and the concept isn't foreign to anyone. We've all been outsiders, in one way or another.

It sounds like both parents are fairly cool. At least, you're more worried about Mom telling everyone at work, not about her kicking you out or disowning you. If you want to come out to her, do so. You can put stipulations on it. You can have her swear/pinky-promise that she won't tell anybody until you feel more comfortable with it.

But do consider this. I've found that most people pick up on how you treat your homosexuality. If you consider it some huge horrible secret, that's how they'll treat it too. If you treat it like it's no big deal, other people tend to pick up on that as well. You don't see people saying, "Guys, you'll never believe what I found out about Mark - he volunteers at the homeless shelter!" Why not? Because Mark probably doesn't consider that a big deal, and so neither does anybody else.

Give it some thought.

Lex

[Trumpetplyer23]

I agree with Lex (once again). If you treat homo/bisexuality like it's something that is to be ashamed of, most people will follow you. Ever heard of 'Monkey see, Monkey do?'. That philosophy applies here too.

[Trent13]

Kay
Thanks guys!
Ill tell my mum soon. I Hope :)

Thanks!