So...I'm new here. And I joined cuz...I need somebody to talk to.

[dsfox2009]

Hey everybody! I just joined...and I really hope that you guys can help me out?

It all started about a year or two ago. Me being a normal teenage guy, let's just say Myspace was getting boring :icon_bigg! lol...Well, ever since then, I have been FASCINATED by guys. I mean, I barely even look at girls the same way anymore. Just...doesn't work for me.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I only told my ONE best friend about me liking one of the guys from my school, and she was completely supportive. One day while hanging out with some friends and at the movies, I get a text from my sister. And she asked the question...ARE YOU GAY? I told her that I didn't know...and that I think I just needed some time to figure it out.

Nothing has really been said about it since then. Until tonight, that is. I called my mom who is in Houston for the weekend helping my other sister prepare for her wedding. The sister that knows takes the phone, and tells me that she couldn't keep it from our mom anymore. She told her. She also said that our mom wouldn't say anything to me about it, because she wants me to tell her when I am ready.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?! Do I tell her? I mean...I really don't know exactly what I am yet. Bi...gay...curious. I just don't know. I wanted to wait until I wasn't in the house anymore. When I was away at college. Just come home one weekend and be like...I met somebody that I really like (but they have a penis! lol). But, I don't know if that plan is gonna work any more. Any suggestions? Wait...or tell now?:bang:

[Grof142007]

When you Sure of what you are and you comfortable with it then you can tell them Dont feel pressure to tell them or have a definite answer on ur orientation.

[Trent13]

Yeah. Don't feel that you have to but dont think that u dont have to tell. But im sure she will be a very big help if you do tell her. Myself i have only told one or two people and im getting lots of help already. You maybe the same. If you go to school does your school have a social worker?

[dsfox2009]

HA! You are hilarious. I go to a high school where there are only about 100 kids in grades 9-12. So...I don't really have that option, :P

[Lexington]

First off, welcome to EC! :wave:

Secondly, stop telling anything of importance to your sister. The whole "I couldn't keep it from her anymore" smells a lot like a field full of cattle. It was obviously told in confidence, and should've been kept as such.

Thirdly, what should you do? Nothing you're not doing already. Take some time. Keep trying out your sexual identity. Get comfortable with it. Eventually, it'll become clearer. At that point, you can tell others, or not. Your call.

Lex

[dsfox2009]

I really don't think that my sister meant it that way Lex...she just cares about me so much, ya know? Idk...still wish she wouldn't have said anything though! lol

I really wish this wasn't such a big deal! lol

[xballetxbeautyx]

Hey! Welcome to EC!

I can't really offer any other advice, like everybody else said, just try and figure it out. The best thing is to have an open mind. Also, since you've already told a good friend, you could talk to them about how you're feeling. And don't try to rush it. Just go on with life and don't push yourself to try and figure out anything too quickly. Don't do anything until you feel you're ready.

Feel free to PM/IM me if you need someone to talk to. Sometimes that's the best thing to do when you're confused. (*hug*) ~megan~

[Lexington]

>>>I really wish this wasn't such a big deal! lol

It won't be if you don't make it one. :) Since your mother and both your sisters apparently know, you may want to just sit down and hash it out with them. Just tell them "I think I might be gay, but I'd like to be sure before I make any big public announcement." And leave it at that. :)

Lex

[beckyg]

>>>I really wish this wasn't such a big deal! lol

It won't be if you don't make it one. :) Since your mother and both your sisters apparently know, you may want to just sit down and hash it out with them. Just tell them "I think I might be gay, but I'd like to be sure before I make any big public announcement." And leave it at that. :)

Lex

I agree with Lex. I wouldn't avoid the subject all together but you don't have to make your coming out public either. I think talking about your feelings with your mom would be good though.

[dsfox2009]

Thank you guys so much for your help. Right now...anyone else's opinion really matters to me. Thanks

[Asteroid]

Hi there and welcome to EC!

I agree with Lex and Becky. Now that your mother and sisters know, it might be a good idea to sit down with them and talk with them about your feelings. As for coming out further, take your time (as others have suggested above). There is no rush. Only come out to others when you have figured out your feelings and when you feel that you are ready.

Hope this helps!

[crimsonarcher]

Hi there!
Don't feel pressured into doing anything, first of all.
second, it's imperative that you are ready and comfortable to talk to your mom and sister once you see them, cause from the sounds of it, they'll be really helpful to you. Just take your time. It'll all work out in the end. If anything comes up, I'm always on EC most of the time, so I'll be glad to be of service to you!
:)

[KaraBulut]

It sounds like you have already thought this through and you already had an idea about when and how you wanted to tell your family. Unfortunately, your sister didn't respect your wishes but there's not much that you can do to change that now.

The advice that I usually give people who ask whether the time is right to tell their parents is that you usually know better than anyone how your parents will take the discussion.

If your parents are very religious and can't accept a gay son, or if there is a possibility that they would cut you off financially or make you leave home, then it is better to wait until you are independent from them.

If your mom is accepting and you believe that she will be supportive, then be honest. If you aren't sure how you feel, then tell her that. If you aren't ready to talk to her about it, that's okay to tell her too.