Is this a mistake?

[myra]

Oh god. So today I went with my boyfriend and his family to drop him off at band camp at OU. Its been his dream to be in the Marching 110 and I'm really excited for him. I'm going to the same school too. So i thought it would be pretty great. Here's my problem.

I HATE the campus. Hate it. With a passion. I feel as if I don't belong there. I went to BW, walked around in the pouring rain and in 5 minutes time loved it there. But OU...I don't know. I'm just so uncomfortable there. I feel like I'm making a huge mistake by going there.

The thing is, I love my boyfriend so much. We have this amazing connection and I'm pretty sure no one has ever felt something as strong as our love before. If he wasn't at that school, I'd transfer in a heartbeat to BW or somewhere. But because of him, I'm sacrificing my comfort zone to be there with him. There is no way that I'd be able to survive being so far away from him at a different school for 4 years. I was barely able to live at the state fair for 3 WEEKS without needing him. And he even visited twice while I was there. I don't know what to do.

I told him I'd give the campus a year to try to like it. But he keeps telling me if I'm truely not happy there to go somewhere else. But I wouldn't be able to be away from him and be happy. I couldn't do it. He's so much a part of me. If I were at a different school for that long, I'd feel like only half a person because the other half of me would be at OU. I don't know guys. I hate it there so much, but my degree of love for him is far more than how much I hate the campus. Am I wrong to try to stay there? Could that be a mistake? I don't know guys. I really don't.

[Swamp56]

Don't sacrifice your education for another human being...it's not worth it :( . Try and find a college you like that is somewhat close-by :) . I'm sure he'll understand, and if the college isn't so close-by, you can visit him on your off-time, like on weekends....a lot of the colleges I'm looking at allow overnight guests :p .

[myra]

He understands. But has also told me that if we were to go to seperate schools, our relationship probably wouldn't last. Amd before you say something about if it were real love it would work over a distance, let me clarify. The reason it would end would be because of the pain of being apart. We are so connected, we're pretty much the same person. I couldn't live apart from him. The pain in that would be equal to, if not greater than the pain of breaking up. I don't know if you've ever read wuthering hieghts, but in it Catherine is explaining how she feels about someone and she says "I am Heathcliff." Well, I am him. (Not heathcliff, my guy.) Its not even the overnight thing, its just the distance of being apart, neither of us could take it. I know it seems like I'm being irrational and dramatic, but its truely how I feel about him. If you don't believe me, ask Davey on here. He's a good friend of mine, who has seen this relationship from its start practically.

[Asteroid]

Hi there! I think it is wonderful that you have that kind of a connection with your boyfriend, but I think you also need to ask yourself where would you like to complete your degree. Is there an advantage of completing your degree at BW than at OU? Does OU have the same or a similar program? Can you do what you want to do at OU as well? There is a reason why you think that you are making a mistake by going to OU. There is a reason why you would transfer imminently to BW. I have the feeling that the reasons go beyond liking and not liking a campus.

Not to sound harsh or mean but I am putting these questions out there because from your posts it sounds to me as if you are following him, which could come back to haunt you. You two are deeply in love. That's great! That's fantastic! But ask yourself what about in a year or two years from now? Ask yourself, would he do the same for you if he would have gotten the chance to go a college that might be more to his liking?

He already has indicated to you that he would be okay with you going to another college. The thing that struck me though was:

But has also told me that if we were to go to seperate schools, our relationship probably wouldn't last.

Why not? Why should it not last? If you guys are in love and trust each other, a long distance relationship could work out for the duration of your studies. Assuming that we are talking about two colleges in the same state, you two can still visit each other and spend time together. Plus, you still can maintain contact with him in other ways during the time where you don't get to see each other.

If you believe that getting an education at BW might be better for your future and what you want to do in life than maybe you should give it some more thought. There are times in our lives were we have to think about what is best for us. Deciding on an education and where to do it is one of these times.

But it is really up to you as to what you want to do. If you think that the best thing for you at the moment is to be at OU, give it a try and see how it works out.

I hope this helps!

[beyondken]

Is there another college really close by that you could look at (or look at transferring to later)? That way you wouldn't necessarily be at a campus you dislike and not out of reach of your boyfriend..?

[rocking23]

As much as love matters, education is #1 in my books!
If he truly loves you he won't hold you back from going to the school you love. If you hate that school, your education could suffer.
I'm sure he will understand!