Which parent is more homophobic?

[Martin]

After reading all the threads on here it seems that the majority of people fear their dads as reacting worse when coming out. I'm curious to know which parent is more homophobic in your family, so answer the poll! :D

You can answer whether you're out to them or not. Most peeps will have an idea whether both of them are, whether one is, or whether neither of them are.

For me it was my dad. :dry:

Edited: I've included a both (incase they're both equally as bad) and a neither option (incase both are accepting). :)

[Tom]

my parents r strange when it comes to sexuality, my mum is fine with gay ppl and my dad doesn't really like them but when i came out to them it was my dad that accepted it and moved on within minutes basically and my mum took it the hardest and was the more kinda homophobic one.

so i voted for both, but maybe neither would of been a better option.

[Nodnarb]

I chose neither, because they are both accepting of me. But, I think my dad is less comfortable with gay-related things in general.

[XXX Lou XXX]

I voted neither because my mum's not really homophobic at all and i've never met my dad so I don't know...

[Paul_UK]

My dad definitely had more problems than my mum. Mum tried to accept and did (mostly) with the help of my sister. Dad ignored it for ages and began to reluctantly accept it once he me Markie. Ultimately he came round but it took a long time.

[lexie]

i cant know for sure which would take the news worst cause im not out, but neither are homophobic.

id bet money my mum would be pretty accepting of me (her brother's gay and she's close to him etc), she's a pretty accepting and open person.

but my dad, im not sure, i would never call him homophobic, but he's made one or two comments in my company that make me think he isnt too accepting/comfortable with the issue. and out of my mum and dad, im actually closest to my dad, even though i live with my mum, im a bit of a 'daddy's girl' so his reaction worries me more. i think he'd freak to be honest. his side of the family is much more old fashioned and stuff than my mum's side.

[beckyg]

Oh crap....I screwed up the poll. I meant to check neither and I checked both. I was fine. Adam's Dad had a harder time but I wouldn't call it homophobic. It was just a lack of understanding.

[Geist]

Well my dad is ok with gay people, but he sees them all as stereotypes. And is really bothered that I am gay, but it is a much more of an uncomfortable sort of thing and he does say that he loves me no matter what.

My mom on the other hand is more supportive of me as a person, but she is really deosn't like my gay friends and hates the idea of me being around other gay people. She seems to think it is there fault that I am gay so she tells me that I'm not aloud to hang out with them so I have to hang out with them in secret.

So my mom is more passive aggressive, while my dad is much more upfront about his insecurities. Which one is more homophobic? well neither are too bad but to say there aren't homophobic at all would be wrong so I just went with both.

[Martin]

Oh crap....I screwed up the poll. I meant to check neither and I checked both. I was fine. Adam's Dad had a harder time but I wouldn't call it homophobic. It was just a lack of understanding.

It's always the straight people...

:grin: :p

[tylerksub]

They both hate it but my Father is the only one that I fear.

[pirateninja]

My mom was great with it. Although she asked me whether it was a phase, she did take me seriously when I told her I was sure it wasn't. And although I probably told her too soon, as I myself hadn't fully come to terms with my sexuality, we both matured and we can talk aboot it with ease. We even watch stuff like Brokeback Mountain and that John Barrowman: Why I'm Gay sort of stuff together. When I first came out to her that would have been a huge deal, but now we just smile and discuss it as if it's the weather. And although, like I said, I wasn't fully accepting of myself when she first found out, she would always reassure me that she loved me no matter what and told me aboot some gay friends she had. She probably got me to accept myself.

My dad on the other hand; although recently we've got talking more and he has said that he's not ashamed of me, it took him longer than mom. He used to make gay jokes when someone camp was on TV or something (although he did stop after I came out, something I was very thankful for), and after I came out the tension could be cut with a knife if a gay topic came up. He just ignored it, said nothing. Which is preferable to blatant homophobia I guess, but I could tell he wasn't completely happy with it, sometimes answering for me if the subject of "Why haven't you got a boyfriend yet?" came up, or fixing me with a wary glance. Like I said, he's coming round more and more, but it did take him longer than mom.

[smilealways]

When dad found out, he told me that he would be fine with it if I was gay. I dont really know what mum thought because I never talked to her about it but I think mum wasnt too happy and it took a year or two for her to get over it. It has been about 6 years since they found out. We havent talked about it since and I wonder if they still remember. lol

[ausdtc]

I answered Dad. He's not exactly homophobic, but he's the one I was more worried about coming out to. Also, have only seen/heard from him the once since I came out to him.. That could just be me being paranoid, he could just be busy I guess.. I should contact him some time :)

[Joey]

...I have no idea. My dad keeps on trying to get me to date one of my friends, and thinks there may be something between the two of us (he says that everytime I walk into a room, Claire basically lights up; which could be possible, I wouldn't know since I wasn't around her before I came in the room...) My mom and I really haven't spoken much about it... it's not like she's avoiding it, but relationships and stuff isn't really anything she talks about at all... before and after I came out.

Long explanation short: could be both, could be my dad, could be neither; I don't know.

[Tokarov]

My dad. My mom probably already guesses I am, but she has spoken about how she supports gay people and such...my dad is, though, a little...homophobic.

If I did tell him, I get the feeling that our relationship wouldn't be as good as it now.

[Brandford]

My dad, hes homophobic, my moms a little homophobic too but only twords gays guys but not lesbians since my sister is a lesbian

[firecausesburns]

They're both fine with it. My dad's a little less comfortable about it, he's never spoken to me about it, but that could just be because I'm closer to my mum in general and she's the one I talk to more. Dad is about the most laid-back man in the world, there's very little that bothers him, and Mum is very supportive.

[Behling]

My parents are better then most when dealing with homosexuality but I think but my dad is worse then my mom

[Myzou]

I had to choose neither... my mom was accepting despite being a minister, and my dad passed away before I could come out.

[Derek the Wolf]

Definitely father. I told my ma and she didn't really care. I will not tell my father for at least another 5 years, because I know he would disown me instantly. He's the biggest bigot I know.

[Miaplacidus]

Dad, of course.

It isn't that bad, really. Not anymore. He just ignores the fact, even though I'm practically rubbing the fact that I'm a flaming queen on his face.

[Daniel]

My mother is the worst I think. She says she is okay with me and what not but really my father is handling it much better.

[wraptenigma]

Dad... I spoke with my mom and she said that he blamed her for me being gay because she was too close to me. I came out to both in May, but have not really talked about it with them since then. Tonight I actually engaged my mom in a conversation about it...she is totally fine with it! I was amazed, I guess she had enough time to digest it.

[Wander]

My mom has a lesbian sister (my aunt), whom she loves to death and gives her full support to. She's helped the aunt through her first serious breakup, and she helped her get settled in with her new partner. Her entire side of the family, despite their Bible-thumping conservative parents, is very tolerant of LGBT individuals. I frequently hear them defending gays who get bashed by the media, and privately protesting the unfair treatment of gays and lesbians here in the South.

My father treats most people he even suspects of being gay as unusual outcasts. We were watching television when a slightly feminine guy came on, and he wouldn't stop calling the guy "Tinkerbell" and mocking his voice. The last time I got my hair cut, he told me he hoped I didn't let a guy do it. He's said on numerous occasions that he wants me to cut my hair even more so that people don't associate me with "them".

I'm not out to either of them yet, so I don't know how all this will change, but it should be pretty clear at the moment.

[beyondken]

Trying to think back to when my dad was alive and I was very much avoiding being out even to myself.. I'd say by far my mum showed more signs of homophobia. I do wonder though if it would have worked out the other way around once I'd come out, though, and they both had an actual known gay person to react to.

[Trumpetplyer23]

My dad.

His entire family is homophobic and he follows suit. He never really expressed it though, until he got mad at me and he said 'it's your eternal soul'...but I think he was afraid of arguing with my mom even before I came out, because my mom is very accepting and hates homophobia.

[berileos]

Well,I thought that my father will react worse,but it seems he accepts it more than my mother,so I'll have to say mother...

[Andrew]

Uhm. I chose both, because well.. I don't know. My parents are pretty homophobic. But if it had to be from one of the two. I would have to choose my step-dad -_-.

-Luis

[ccdd]

I'm not out, but from general comments and things? My father. Although he's not very homophobic, or vocal in it, because I think he realises that it's just not done. Or at least around me (who is as liberal as you can get, and vocal with it)

[Gamer am I]

Neither are very homophobic, but my dad tends to accept it, whereas my mom embraces it.

[Swamp56]

Neither are very homophobic, but my dad tends to accept it, whereas my mom embraces it.

It is impossible for her to hate or dislike anyone :lol:

[jazzrawr]

My mom is way more than fine with it, she and i talk about it all the time and such, and i wuv her :).
But i havent told my dad yet, cause he's a bit homophobic.
I mean, not to the point where he'd get mad and have a huge bad reaction, but he's just uncomfortable with it.
I'll tell him eventually. XD

[Leigh]

i voted for father, cus if i was gay im sure he would have a problem with it. thats just cus hes an all round bastard and really sexist though, more than homophobia specifically,,,,

[Lexington]

In my case, I guess it'd be my father. But that's like saying that the Atlantic is drier than the Pacific. :)

Lex

[Muzzy]

My dad definitely, that whole side of the family is homophobic.

[MonsieurGodiva]

Based on what I've seen and heard, both of my parents are extremely homophobic.

[-Michael-]

I think it depends on the person gender.

a boy- the father
a girl - the mother

e

[nluvwthagrl1010]

I'm not really sure...I guess I would have to say my dad. He's doesn't talk about it, so neither do I!

[RENThead]

i dont live with my dad... personally couldnt give a sh#t what he thinks..

the mother is very homaphobic...

in australia we have this herpies add at the moment, with all these different undies on the screen.
mum said: thats what you get when you kiss boys
ME: (supid comment, shouldnt have said it) so you would prefer me to kiss girls...

about n hour later... i had heard every reason about why being gay is wrong...
my brain was going... but.. but but but..
i just took it... now i know what she will say when i tell her, so im a litle more prepared...

[Wired106]

Neither of my parents were homophobic, and I knew this. But when I told them, I knew my dad was going to be more okay with it than my mom. My dad grew up in San Francisco and supports the gay community like 100% and I've always known this, so he was totally cool with me being gay when I told him. When I told my mom though, she was really caring also and said that it didn't matter to her and that she'd always love me, but I got more of a vibe that she was worried about it and thought about it a lot inside but just didn't say anything. She also doesn't talk to me about it and my dad does, so I can tell that my mom is like .000001% homophobic, so thats totally cool. They are both really accepting but my mom was just like worried about the future and all that sort of stuff I guess. Idk, but now she is fine.

[Wander]

My dad definitely, that whole side of the family is homophobic.

Running with this idea, try to picture this contrast: my mother's side of the family is fairly urban compared to the rest of the people I know, she and both of her living siblings are extremely gay-friendly, and I have reason to believe that her deceased brother might have been gay.

My dad's side of the family fits right into the mold of the "fat, drunk, trailer park Southerner" stereotype. One of them is moderately intelligent, but the rest are the most flatheaded bigots I've ever met.

[Shrug]

its definitely my dad. my mom haz alot of gay friends, so i waznt as worried to come out to her, plus she said she said shes known since i waz 3! :lol:! i never really had a relationship with my dad, and i never talked to him, but when i kame out 2 my mom she called him told him, i was so angry and scared at the same time:eek:!!! ive gotten alot closer 2 my dad since then, but he still hasnt said a word about it 2 me.:dry:

[shakerdancee]

She claims to be openminded and spiritual.... she's not.

[gutsrie]

my parents are divorced so i came out to them at different times.

i totally thought my dad was gonna murder me when i came out to him because he's always been the strict one but then, he turned out to be pretty cool about it when it happened. he can proudly admit to others he has a gay son. :D

my mom on the other hand is bit different... though s little accepting, she says she hates the gay part of me and blames it on my dad's bad genes. she complains how her family will be so ashamed of her having a gay son so she tells me i better keep quiet about it or else...

[HalfInsane]

My dad, for sure.

He rants to my mom all the time about how he's worried I'm going to turn out to be a horrible person.

His reasons:

- he sees a lot of messed up kids where he works (he's the one who gets to fire them xD)

- I'm bi (well, practically gay... but he doesn't know that... he thinks it's 50/50)

[sexyalex]

both my parents are homophobic but my mom is homophobic is such a way if she ever found out i was gay...she would kill me.

and where i come from, if ur gay, and ur killed for being gay. It's looked upon taking out the garbage. Cuz lets just say homosexuality is illigal here.

and that was NOT figure of speech :dry:

[Kimi]

My dad for sure.

Altho my mom is pretty homophobic too.
It's just my dad is REALLY homophobic:bang: