Urgent

[tezadream]

well yesturday it sorta slipped ou that i'm bi and my mum said she wished i had never been born and she wants me out of the house. and she means it
but i got nowhere to go
what do i do?
I'm definately not staying at home anyway. she first found out 1/2 year ago and sent me to counselling and that's how i know she means it.

[Invisible]

Wow... if she really is kicking you out of the house, then you'll have to stay with friends/family for a bit - at least until she realises some things.

She might just be a bit shocked. show her some PFLAG stuff and talk to her about it. But also give her some space to think things over.
Moving out should be a last resort, especially for a 14 year old.

[tezadream]

one of my close friends has offered that i stay with her family for while so i probably will.
seriously though my mum means it and so i'm gonna go.

[Asteroid]

I am so sorry to hear that your mom has reacted this way. Do you feel that if you would talk to her calmly about your sexual identity and reassure that you have not changed and that you did not say this to her to hurt her that she might reconsider kicking you out of the house?

I am glad though that you found a place where you can stay. From your post it sounds like as if you already told her half a year ago, and she didn't took it too well. Your mom is in deep denial and in shock and it will take some time for her to digest the news. Give your mom a few days. Print out some PFLAG material for your mom. Try to give it to her and ask her to read it. Often it is a matter of education and knowing the 'facts.'

I hope this helps!

[Ambrosio]

If your mother is SERIOUS about not letting you stay at home give her time. Give her a week at most. If she's truly homophobic even after you talked to her then take legal matters.

I've noticed you are 14, you would then deserve to get paid child support because you are only 14 years old. Your orientation, that's your BUSINESS. Especially if you are dependent on your parents. Seriously if your mother is hatefull towards you, then she should pay for you. Because you are still very young. (Rules change when you are 16, 18 etc)

Tell your mother for now, that "I'm confused, but I will marry a man. And I do want a boyfriend" Which is LYING, but you are very young. That's why. Sometimes you have to tell people what THEY want to hear just to survive for your own sake.

[beyondken]

I don't think you should lie to the extent Ambrosio said (I'm assuming you're not that sure that you'll end up with blokes exclusively). It will just confuse things and give your mother more reason to think that you're not really how you say you are, which could cause all sorts of trouble; if you say things and take them back, or change the story from telling to telling, it makes you seem untrustworthy and deceptive. She doesn't need a more real reason like that to try to justify kicking you out.

If things get dangerous, violent, abusive, whatever at home, I suggest you pack your bags as full as you can (so you don't have to go back to get anything you need later, if it's too risky to be home) and go to your friend's place. If you do that, do try to be as good a guest as you can. And keep the lines of communication with your mum open to some extent. Certainly give her PFLAG sorts of materials.

And of course in any such case, most likely the law will be very much on your side, so look into what rights and so forth you have in this situation.

http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/images/smilies/grouphug.gif

[Sam]

I can only suggest that you do go and stay with your friend but because of your age your mom could be in some trouble (I'm not sure of the laws where you live). I hope things get better for you.

[Alex89]

Everyone's offered good advice here, so I suggest you follow it and try to sit down and talk to your mum one last time before you go and stay at you friend's place for a bit.

PFLAG stuff would be very helpful, and assure you're mum being bi doesn't make you a different person. I'm assuming your mum does not accept it for religious reasons, so I also suggest something like changing the home page of your internet to a christian gay information group (there are lots) so she'll definitely see it.

Good lucl, I'm really sorry you're in this situation. =(

[beckyg]

Go to your friends house. It will be good to have distance until your mother calms down. Then I would ask your friend's mother to call authorities. They could probably require that you attend family counseling with your mother. You are her responsibility and to do this is child abandonment. Truthfully, I think this is going to take more than PFLAG materials. The legal authorities need to step in.

[theaterfreak]

when/if you do leave ur mom's make sure that you call her or somehow make sure that hse knows that you still want her in ur life (if that's true of course). you will probably have to be the one to make the effort. i'm sure after some time you and ur mom can figure things out.
you might want to another lady to mentor/adopt you. i have an adopted mom and she knows alot of the stuff i'm going through and stuff. i get along ok w. my real mom but here are still things i'd rather go to my adopted mom with instead of my real mom.
i'm really sorry you have to go through this right now.
((hugs))