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View Full Version : too young to know you're really gay !!!


Antidoll
31st Aug 2008, 09:50 AM
so now that I'm 20 , I look at some teenagers who are 14-15 or even 13 sometimes and they already know they're gay etc...


for me it seems shocking, even though at that age I still knew I was gay... but now when I look back, I can't help but think, wow they're too young to know if they're really gay or just confused...

and trust me, I'm the most open minded person you'll meet, and I knew I was gay for a long time, never thought I was " straight " ...


I don't understand why do I feel like this... is it just me???

Malchik89
31st Aug 2008, 09:55 AM
I think it's just the change in times, with each year that passes, people are starting to understand that homosexuality really isn't such a bad thing, and at younger ages, people are like you said aware that they are gay, but are less afraid to be open about it.

Beth
31st Aug 2008, 10:33 AM
i must admit that even tho i knew i was gay round about that age i am stil a tad sceptical about ppl that come out at that sort of age...

Martin
31st Aug 2008, 11:09 AM
You're entitled to think what you like. Just as long as you don't try and get them to think along the same lines then I can't see a problem with thinking that. It's hard enough for them anyway without their peers thinking they may just be confused. If somebody says they are gay then I'll believe them. They know themselves better than anybody so I don't consider myself or anybody else as being in a better position to judge them.

Beth
31st Aug 2008, 11:13 AM
u do get some kids that are blatantly doing it cuz they think its cool & different
tho i'm not saying every1 is,cuz of course some ppl are gay & choose to come out at that age

Martin
31st Aug 2008, 11:18 AM
If they're doing it to be cool and different then isn't it more a case of them pretending to be gay rather than actually being confused? :confused:

If they're only pretending then being skeptical of everybody does not really achieve anything, and just puts more pressure on actual LGBT peeps when coming out. :confused:

Beth
31st Aug 2008, 11:25 AM
i'm just saying i had experiences at school of ppl shouting about that theyre gay when they actually werent & had no same sex tendencies what so ever & they just thought it'd get them attention & thought it made them all mature

Malchik89
31st Aug 2008, 01:21 PM
well that doesnt seem to have any real relevance with being young and coming out, that just seems to be all about their own insecurities and lack of self esteem and they have desperate feelings to be apart of something.

Antidoll
31st Aug 2008, 01:22 PM
lol I'm not talking about coming out, but rather being sure of being gay instead of just being confused... lol

Proud1p4
31st Aug 2008, 01:25 PM
You are entitled to what you think. I'm entitled to disagree.
Although i see where you are coming from.

420inc
31st Aug 2008, 01:52 PM
I knew I was different at a very early age. Probably 8 years old. I didn't know what it all meant until later, about 12 years old, when I learned more about sex. But even at eight years old I knew the feelings I had wern't the feelings most others have. So I think it's entirely possible for teenagers to know at that young age.

rosiejuly3
31st Aug 2008, 05:53 PM
Its different for different people, I personally know I have feelings for other girls and right now wondering if I may be more then bi. At my middle school we have a huge population of LGBT kids *or at least call themselves that* and I would have to say only a couple of them are sure they are. Times are changing and its beoming more accepted, which is making kids not question their feelings for anyone and just go for it.

ccdd
31st Aug 2008, 06:53 PM
I don't know what, if any, age is too young to be sure, but I will say this: if someone tells me they're gay, then I'll believe them. They know best. A large part of this is that I believe that in the majority of cases, coming out to other people is one of the last stages people go through, not the first. I believe that more people will falsely believe they're straight (through fear or hope) than falsely believe they're gay.

And if it turns out that they were premature, and have to "un-come out"? There is nothing wrong with changing your orientation after you've come out. You don't have to stick with what you labelled yourself with at 12, 25, or 60.

I know that in my case what I suspected at 12 turned out to be true - so I see no reason why it should not be true for others. If I had been in a more LGBT-friendly environment, and had come out at 12, then I would have been right.

Quitex
31st Aug 2008, 06:57 PM
I knew I was gay since I was 13...ish. However, I thought I was too young to be gay. I thought being gay was ok if you were like 16 or more.

silentsound
31st Aug 2008, 07:07 PM
I definitely see where you're coming from here, but I don't agree. I am always a little shocked to find out that some people knew when they were eight or ten, but it is not my place to judge, more power to them really. That being said, I am also a little surprised to hear people who are just realizing it when they are 25+, because it just seems to me like if you weren't actively in denial during that time than you missed a whole chunk of your hormonal development without thinking twice about it. I guess you have to chalk it up to the fact that everyone is different and you shouldn't judge anyone else based on their time frame. Sometimes I think that I would rather not know I'm gay at this point in my life, then I think about how nice it is to have the hardest stages of questioning behind me and I know I won't have to go through that when I'm 18 or 25.

Malchik89
31st Aug 2008, 07:09 PM
yeah i knew i was gay was i was about 12 or 13, i was just never admitted it to anyone until i was 17 lol

NathanHaleFan
31st Aug 2008, 07:39 PM
I disagree. I knew my sexuality at 12... I think maybe in earlier times when being gay was "bad," most gay people that young would dismiss it immediately and continue in denial into an older age when it comes crashing down.

In this new age, fewer kids are going into a denial stage, because they don't need to. Therefore, they can be sure of their sexuality at a younger age.

smilealways
31st Aug 2008, 11:20 PM
I think there is no too early or too late. People will know when they are ready to know.

Chloe
1st Sep 2008, 12:08 AM
I have known my sexual preference since I was twelve but that is nothing I have known I was in the wrong body for about ten years and I am only fifteen

Wander
1st Sep 2008, 02:02 AM
I knew who I found attractive and who I didn't as early as third grade, but I never attached a word to it until about sixth. I wouldn't be surprised to meet people as young as six or seven who find the same gender attractive, but it definitely takes time for them to understand, realize, and accept it.

-Michael-
1st Sep 2008, 05:14 AM
so now that I'm 20 , I look at some teenagers who are 14-15 or even 13 sometimes and they already know they're gay etc...


for me it seems shocking, even though at that age I still knew I was gay... but now when I look back, I can't help but think, wow they're too young to know if they're really gay or just confused...

and trust me, I'm the most open minded person you'll meet, and I knew I was gay for a long time, never thought I was " straight " ...


I don't understand why do I feel like this... is it just me???

I agree.

But i think its because i had nowhere nears the ammount of balls it takes to come out when i was 13.
I think that if they were being serious they'd have a lot more to consider than just go barging out the closet at such a young age (talking about 13/14 here).

So i guess when i see or here about a 13-14 year old gay person.
I just don't beleive them.
I feel that its just a fad for them, even if it isnt.

Brandford
1st Sep 2008, 08:10 AM
when i was 13 and younger i didnt even know the difference between straight and gay people, i wasnt even thinking about it, i thought everyone did the some of the things i did with other boys

Antidoll
1st Sep 2008, 02:28 PM
I knew I was gay since I was 13...ish. However, I thought I was too young to be gay. I thought being gay was ok if you were like 16 or more.



lol that's funny and cute at the same time

Psychedelic Bookmarks
1st Sep 2008, 04:26 PM
I see where you're coming from, but at the same time, I definately think that once a person has hit puberty, they can be aware of their feelings. Of course, they may be confused, but so what? If they choose to label themselves as gay, then I'm just gonna believe them, because they know best. If later they realise they don't feel the same way anymore, that's fine by me. So long as they're not labeling themselves for an ulterior motive or hiding their true feelings from themselves, it's fine by me.

I think it's good if young people are confident enough to explore their sexuality from a young age, rather than being repressed and in denial into adulthood.

Gerry
1st Sep 2008, 04:29 PM
It's different for everyone. I knew I was gay when I was VERY young -- even before my teenage years.

RENThead
2nd Sep 2008, 04:36 AM
well people know... ive always been attracted to girls, and never guys... it took me along time to realise what it ment...

i dont think many people would say they were gay if they werent... especially at a young age where they could get teased
if a 12/13yold told me they were gay, i would believe them, and i would be proud of them for realising and understanding it so soon. no one can tell you that you are not gay...

Beth
2nd Sep 2008, 08:52 AM
i was aware of something when i was about 11/12 & then it started to develop when i was about 14 but at that age i wud never have actually said to myself yes i'm a lesbian.i knew i was but it was just...i duno...
not in a denial kinda way

MusicIsLife
2nd Sep 2008, 12:03 PM
I disagree, I knew i was gay when i was like..12/13, but I didnt come out till i was 18.

pirateninja
2nd Sep 2008, 02:43 PM
Although I can see where you are coming from, I do strongly disagree. I knew I was gay for as long as I can remember. As someone has said, nobody knows anyone better than themselves. I get hacked off if I hear someone says I'm just confused. I'd imagine a 13 year old would feel the same.

Beth
2nd Sep 2008, 04:17 PM
I knew I was gay since I was 13...ish. However, I thought I was too young to be gay. I thought being gay was ok if you were like 16 or more.
wel sum1 was bein deadly serious the other nite wen we were out when he thought u cudnt legally be a lesbian til ur 21
god knows where that tosh came from!