The 'F' word.

[Micah]

No, I'm not talking about the the word 'fuck' ;) I'm talking about the word 'fag'. I'm curious as to how you respond to it. Do you consider the word to be derogative, and get offended if someone referes to you as a fag? Or maybe you take it as a complement of sorts? I know some says find it quite offensive. Myself? Well I'm a fag ;) What about you?

[biman]

i dont think its either really, to me its only a word.

[Aaron]

Generally, I explain the actual meaning of the word to them. A fag is what they call a cigarette in the UK (I think), while a faggot is the term for a bundle of sticks used to burn people at the stake.

I refer to myself as a fag sometimes...it's not a huge deal to me.

[Paul_UK]

I think it depends on the context it's used in. If the single word is shouted at you then it's most likely offensive, but if it's used in a pleasant sentance by someone who is gay, gay-friendly or just a bit nieve about the terminology, then it's probably OK.

I am not keen on the word "fag" though, nor on the words "poof" or "queer" for that matter, and would prefer to be called "gay".

"Fag" is slang for "cigarette" here in the UK, and this use of the word has no collection with "faggot" as far as I know. There is also a (revolting) meat product called a "faggot" - again no connection.

Incidently, I recieved an email today (in relation to a vintage radio forum I run) from someone who managed to make the word "homo" offensive:

....I suspect some of the old hands that run this site are homo's including yourself, and if this is the case:..although legal? i would not want to be asscoiated with this site....Paul.

[nisomer]

i have always found that word as very mean. even before i knew what it ment, and before i realized i was gay.

[hawkeye]

I would say that words really only have offense if used to rename you("hey homo!"), or when it is brought up in a negative light. Most words here can be used as a noun or an adjective, and i usualy dont like it when people use them as nouns. I am not nessecarily a gay, i am gay (or bi, whatever) I guess fag would be the exception to this rule, as you can not really be fag, you must be a fag.

[goratrix]

people speak spanish where I live. But we do have some words with the same connotations. And no, I don't care... it's just a word.

[popboy]

Being English my second language makes me quite insensitive to derogative words in English. You know, Spanish has its words too (which do affect me), so I understand the topic of this thread perfectly.
I remember the first time I heard the word was on a show from the early nineties "Kids in the Hall". One time one of the actor introduces himself "Hi, I'm Scott Thompson, and yes, I'm the faggot". It didn't sound derogative at all and even the audience cheered.

For some inexplicable reason my stubborn English dictionary, 2 of every 3 times I try to look something up, opens up in the "faggot" page. I wonder if it's trying to tell me something. As my dictionary never tried to communicate anything during the last decade I should assume this is purely coincidental. Ups, here it comes again.
Yep, the word is marked as derogative (in US, fagot or fag).

[goratrix]

popboy. When they say things like maricon, puto, mozo sin bandeja, etc... do they really affect you?

You know, among my friends we call each other PUTO and MARICON specially quiet a lot... so for me it's just another appelative, like, hey you!, or hi there!... oh, well, I guess that if they actually mean it in a derogative way they would affect me as well... still, don't let them get to you... take those words, and make them your own!

Sí! soy puto! y me gusta! y para que te quede claro: sí, tengo fantasías sexuales con vos todas las noches!!!!

Anyway... just a thought...

[hawkeye]

hmm, i wonder if i said "soy puto" if anyone would catch on. i dont think i'd be able to pronounce the rest of the phrase easily.

[joeyconnick]

It's all contextual to me, although generally I don't like it when people use the various words as a noun to refer to me or single people: I'm uncomfortable with being a gay or a queer or a fag. However, I'm not as uncomfortable being a homo for some reason.

I think Margaret Cho impersonating her mother does the "the gays, they are so nice." "The gays" to me sounds bizarre, although one of my favourite organisations is Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

Of course, I have no problem with "lesbian" as a noun, i.e. she's a lesbian. But to say "he's a gay" sounds rude. I'd love to read a linguistic study on why it seems more acceptable to use lesbian as both a noun and an adjective whereas the nominalisation of gay is somehow more problematic.

So I don't mind being gay, or even queer, but unless it's my friends calling me a fag, it kinda pisses me off.

And it's really fascinating if you start comparing and contrasting the usage of "fag" with the usage of "nigger." I mean, the N-word is the absolute best example in the world to refute someone who says, "Words are just words." Words are power.

What I do really hate, even though I realise that these days the bulk of people doing this are not even aware of what they're doing, is how "gay" is equated with "stupid" or "lame," particularly in high schools. I mean, it's fun to fool around with with my friends and breathlessly say things like, "Dude that's like, so gay!" but I can't imagine what it would be like to be closeted and have to hear people use gay that way multiple times a day. And really, if some moron says "That shirt is so gay," what on Earth is that supposed to mean? That the shirt likes to get it on with other shirts? That the shirt is gonna be good at cutting hair? That the shirt is getting more booty than the person who called it gay? :lol:

[goratrix]

society has a way of twisting words to give them new meanings and connotations... so since we live in a basically homophobic society, I'm not surprised that gay, queer, fag, etc, have bad connotations...

[popboy]

@goratrix
"mozo sin bandeja" is definitely new to me. Don't use it next time you come to BA, no one will get the idea!!! (BTW, are you planning to come? :wink: ).
Puto, maricón, "te la comés", afeminado, etc are still derogative to me, probably because I've been labelled with most of them when I was a child. And believe me, they never meant to use them as appellatives. I know the appellative use of "puto" is quite widespread now, I'm not living in a bubble :-P
"Gay" and "homosexual" (both identically used in Spanish and English) don't belong to my derogative-word group, no matter what context they are used in.
(I'm sorry I never meant to bring up a discussion over Spanish words -blame it on goratrix!!!) :grin:

[hawkeye]

hey, dont worry about bringing spanish into this, its not like degrading words are only in english. I love learning about foreign languages anyways, too bad i havent taken many (well, almost none) classes lately. I remember taking a spanish class back about 7 years ago, and i got pretty good at it, but i have forgotten it since.

[CelebrityHead]

I think it all depends on the tone of the person's voice and who is saying it
If one of my friends called me a fag, or their favourite fag or something I wouldn't take offense, but if like someone who doesn't like me said it I would definately take offense because its obvious that they're using it in a derogative sense.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be closeted and have to hear people use gay that way multiple times a day.

I can. I have this terribly homophobic friend and pretty much everything he doesn't like he says it's gay. I reckon I hear gay said that way like 50 times a day :icon_frow .
Especially when in music we're analysing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and 'Somewhere' from West Side Story because queer jokes are thrown around constantly since Freddy Mercury was gay and Leonard Bernstein is bi.

Can't wait till im out, maybe they might stop. But it's hard to imagine it because it's become a habit for people to just say gay instead of stupid.

[Midnight Angel]

I think it all depends on the tone of the person's voice and who is saying it
If one of my friends called me a fag, or their favourite fag or something I wouldn't take offense, but if like someone who doesn't like me said it I would definately take offense because its obvious that they're using it in a derogative sense.



I can. I have this terribly homophobic friend and pretty much everything he doesn't like he says it's gay. I reckon I hear gay said that way like 50 times a day :icon_frow .
Especially when in music we're analysing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and 'Somewhere' from West Side Story because queer jokes are thrown around constantly since Freddy Mercury was gay and Leonard Bernstein is bi.

Can't wait till im out, maybe they might stop. But it's hard to imagine it because it's become a habit for people to just say gay instead of stupid.

My schools the same way, gay, queer, fag all used very perjoratively. It doesnt bother me, but im sure others must hate it

[tinkerbell]

'Fag' is a short term for 'faggot' which is a bundle of sticks. The reason gay men (and sometimes women) are called fags is because they used to be burned at the stake using the bundle of sticks as kindling. Both 'fag' and 'faggot' terms have been hurled at me, and I do usually find the terms offensive in that circumstance. Otherwise, it's a bundle of wood or cigarette.

[Midnight Angel]

'Fag' is a short term for 'faggot' which is a bundle of sticks. The reason gay men (and sometimes women) are called fags is because they used to be burned at the stake using the bundle of sticks as kindling. Both 'fag' and 'faggot' terms have been hurled at me, and I do usually find the terms offensive in that circumstance. Otherwise, it's a bundle of wood or cigarette.

Hmm.. I knew about the first part but not about the second.. good to know

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

Before i realized i was gya (i think i may have been bi or considering it at the time) i called a friend of my mom's (not to his face) a fag. i said "Why do we have to go to some fag's comfirmation anyway!" ( just didn't feel like sitting in church for hours). afterward i felt so bad for saying it i cried. My mom told me never to use it because it is wrong and i have never since (i beleive). I think that it's a deragotory term anyhow.

[GuitarGirl1350]

It's incredibly derogatory and I will ask people not to use it in my presence.

[BaciListClostridium]

I think it all depends on the tone of the person's voice and who is saying it
If one of my friends called me a fag, or their favourite fag or something I wouldn't take offense, but if like someone who doesn't like me said it I would definately take offense because its obvious that they're using it in a derogative sense.



I can. I have this terribly homophobic friend and pretty much everything he doesn't like he says it's gay. I reckon I hear gay said that way like 50 times a day :icon_frow .
Especially when in music we're analysing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and 'Somewhere' from West Side Story because queer jokes are thrown around constantly since Freddy Mercury was gay and Leonard Bernstein is bi.

Can't wait till im out, maybe they might stop. But it's hard to imagine it because it's become a habit for people to just say gay instead of stupid.

Yeah, I doubt it will stop. I'm out at my school, and this one kid in my small group has a really bad habit of saying that some of the dumb things we have to do are "so gay." He and I are on really good terms w/ e/o, so I know he doesn't mean to offend me by saying that, and I highly doubt he is consciously equating being gay with being stupid or wrong. One day he said that "so gay" phrase several times, so I finally blurted out, "Hey - quit saying that!" And he laughed and said, "Oh, sorry -- it's just a bad habit." And I believe him, but I think it will be a while before he forces himself to stop using that phrase.

For all those who've said that context is important: Did you think it was silly when the media was berating Isaiah Washington for saying, "The word 'faggot' was never used," or whatever he said at that press conference? Just curious...

[jayden]

i hate swearing i got in trouble at school for it once. kids at school and on our bus swear all the time and i dont like it. i get called a fag a lot but dont really care about it

[LowestVocal017]

i hate swearing i got in trouble at school for it once. kids at school and on our bus swear all the time and i dont like it. i get called a fag a lot but dont really care about it

Honestly, I really don't like swearing either (but then, there's an inconsistency from person to person to which words constitutes swearing).

You're a bold young man, Jayden. Back in high-school, if someone called me a fag, I would have cried and went to administration to "whine" about it. Of course, I would have done the right thing, but I would have done it "whining." :biggrin:

[TeeBe]

I have no issue asking my friends to watch their wording. The worst place I find that I encounter profanity is at my work, because I can't do anything about it. I think I have ever (or at least, recently) been called a fag, probably owing to the different stigma placed on lesbian women. Still, I find that too many people use 'gay' and 'stupid' interchangibly. Although it doesn't really offend me, I find myself pointing it out reflexively.

[Midnight Angel]

I have no issue asking my friends to watch their wording. The worst place I find that I encounter profanity is at my work, because I can't do anything about it. I think I have ever (or at least, recently) been called a fag, probably owing to the different stigma placed on lesbian women. Still, I find that too many people use 'gay' and 'stupid' interchangibly. Although it doesn't really offend me, I find myself pointing it out reflexively.

I do the same thing, when people say "Thats so gay" I just say be careful who you say it around, even though I don't care about it one bit, others might

[Jamie]

hmmm I have a feeling that there may be a little conflict of interests in this one just like there was in the 'that's so gay' topic. Although much the same I don't care if somebody calls me a fag, uses it as a remark to mean someone is stupid, etc, etc, etc because unless it's means with mallace towards me, I have no reason to take it to heart.

And even if it was meant with mallace towards me, whilst I mind it I have to restraint not to do anything about it. Otherwise, if I were to go off the handle whenever somebody remaked that x was a faggot or that "god that's so gay", then i'd likely be in prison by now. Or up for some assault charges.

Granted... nobody goes "god that's so straight"... but that's because straight people have and always will be the associated norm... End of (from me that is).

[joeyconnick]

I totally think we should all start saying "god that's SO straight!"

[Midnight Angel]

I totally think we should all start saying "god that's SO straight!"

ahaha I wonder what people would say

[GuitarGirl1350]

I've done it. It quickly gets on their nerves. ^_^

[Midnight Angel]

Hehehe nice ^^

[Jim1454]

That is clever! Very good!

[jman77]

to me its just a word and i dont care... but it may be because i hear it all the time, people just say it everywhere like arguing "your stupid" then "your a fag" then "your a hooker" and so on then the teacher will just tell them to stop because she is trying to teach not because of the words lol

[Miaplacidus]

I don't like the word at all. Whenever someone uses it, I tell him/her to say "gay" instead.

[Kimi]

I don't really care the word. I mean I used to called fag when I was around 5-7 got used to it never really got upset since then. And my parents are very homophobic so whenever there are something about gay topic on tv or newspaper they complains how homosexuals are wrong. When they do that they usually call gay people fag and kinda makes fun of them. And that's the reason I'll never come out to them or my brother or my family members(especially my dad's side family they are the worst people on this planet).

I don't mind the word 'fag' but I do mind the word 'fuck'. Usually when I hear someone uses the word fuck, it is not necessary at all. Well, I don't know if there are actually time to use that word but I do not like people who uses it too much in their conversations.

BTW, I sometimes make fun of myself by calling myself a fag. And I sometimes say "That's so gay" too I try not to but my friends say it all the times and they are making bit hard to not say it. Few of my friends know that I'm a bi makes fun of me whenever I said "That's so gay" or along that. They are bit mean but I love them:grin:

[GuitarGirl1350]

I don't like "That's so gay" either. I think they're both offensive and I have basically kept my mouth shut because I can't stand gays who can use those terms...

[jman77]

all of those horrible words are just... words when people get all annoyed to idk go protest i just think... come on what are we in first grade? lol

[davo-man]

I find that word quite offensive....but i dont think it is because i am myself gay because the two other words that i simply cant stand dont pertain to me (the other two being nigga and cunt...grr i actually dont like even writing them)

I think its the way it reduces a person down to a three letter word..."oh, he's just a fag" whereas we are so much more than that...we are people who are exactly the same as the people saying it and the same goes for the other two words...

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

hah i don't care what words they use as long as they don't use it offensively...personally i wouldn't mind being called...a fag or a queer or soemthing if they weren't trying to be mean...
But when does someone ever call u a fag and not try to hurt your feelings? But if its not meant to be mean i dont see it as mean..simple as that:)

[hoping]

i think iam used to it. like i know my sister has alot of gay and lesbian friends but she and her friends go around calling each other fags and then my cousins are very homophobic and when they see a guy coming down the road that they think might b gay they say hey hes a fag he probably has aids and when i hear that it tears me up inside

[bvtsjm116]

I would probably not like it since it sounds rude. Theres many better words and 'fag' is used in a degrading way. But I haven't been called one since I am still in my closet (questioning) and I don't seem like it =/ :(

[gloom]

Tell yourself what I tell myself.
"Words are words and nothing more."

[LowestVocal017]

On the other hands, each word has a thousand meanings attached to it, even articles like "the", "a" and "some".

It's hard to believe such a concept, that "wprds are words and nothing more", when in fact it's just the opposite: words can provoke emotions, no matter how hard one tries to deny it.

[MonsieurGodiva]

On the other hands, each word has a thousand meanings attached to it, even articles like "the", "a" and "some".

It's hard to believe such a concept, that "wprds are words and nothing more", when in fact it's just the opposite: words can provoke emotions, no matter how hard one tries to deny it.

How true.

Personally, I find this word to be rather offensive and I don't like to hear it used. More often than not, I'll say something to the person who uttered it.

[Grof142007]

to me it depends on how it used but more times im going to be liek Dam Right i am( that ususally if it 1v1)

[Revealed]

It depends on what context it's used in and who's saying it. I have friends who often refer to things as being 'gay' as in 'stupid', & that doesn't bother me as long as they don't say it all the time. I have another friend who went through a phase of using the word 'fag' as part of her greeting, like, "hey fag." That didn't bother me at all.

I only get annoyed/offended when these words are used in a harsh/ derogatory term & if they are clearly being used to slander someone.

[greyundrstndng]

its become so part of american culture to say "thats gay" when it doesnt work for them or they find it stupid..... everyone i know uses it, even me occasionally though i try not to because that could be taken offensively and i dont want that. as for faggot, if i know the person, i take it as a joke, though i associate faggot with the stereotypical gay man and dont appreciate being labeled as such!

[Ilayis]

Ifsomeone called me a fag in a bad way I'd say they would have had to check me out first to want to call me that,thank them for the compliment,smack them on the butt and run for dear life.lol

[greyundrstndng]

:roflmao: i hope they're cute!!!

[bvtsjm116]

Ifsomeone called me a fag in a bad way I'd say they would have had to check me out first to want to call me that,thank them for the compliment,smack them on the butt and run for dear life.lol

HAHA :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[TeeBe]

One of the perks of being a supervisor at work: I can do more than tell people to watch their language. I have only heard "fag" at work twice. THe first time, I made the girl who said it stand in a corner, facing the wall, at the front o the store by the cash registers. The second time, I sent the girl home...(that one wasn't ust "fag" it was "Tianna, you fag!") Fortunately, I am generally loved, and they take my joke-ish "meanness" in good humour. Too bad I can't be a mean enough person to make someone stand in the corner without laughing... :S Oh well, she still didn't do it again.

Haha, Ilayis, mind if I use that one?

[Ilayis]

Go ahead,I actually just thought it up,and thought it would be funny.I think we should all do it!!:grin: :thumbsup:

[rairai]

I totally think we should all start saying "god that's SO straight!"

haha i've said that to my friends before and they said we'll stop saying thats gay if u'll stop saying thats strait so i did and started saying thats soo hetero:lol:

[Grof142007]

I totally think we should all start saying "god that's SO straight!"

haha i've said that to my friends before and they said we'll stop saying thats gay if u'll stop saying thats strait so i did and started saying thats soo hetero:lol:

omg that so straight doesnt sound right BUT... That soo hetero works sooo much better

im so going to start and say this

[surfrboykai]

i think it all depends on the meaning behind a word. any word can become offensive if used offensively, yah?

[Levi]

i don't get offended by it at all. I think it's inzane how some cultures make words so taboo. Like the word nigger in the us. Of course being a racist is terrible, and i hate racism, but the reactions you'll get from just uttering that word is inzane.

Well deserved reaction if you're a racist, but.. i don't really know what my point is here.. just that words are just words and the meaning behind them is what's important not the word.

edit: as surferboy just said

[pirateninja]

The truth is yes words can hurt, but they'll only hurt if you let them hurt. I realise I'm being a hypocrite here as more often than not I've gone mad at people who call me a "faggot" or "homo" in a derogatory sense. Personally I think that curse words (or what you want to call them) are all about context. I don't mind my friends calling me "fag" or "queer" when we just mess around and they mean it playfully, heck even I call myself that. I do say "that's gay" though, and it doesn't bother me when other people say it. Context does play a big part in it though, and black people call each other "nigger" all the time, they just get hacked off when it's used in a derogatory sense.

[surfrboykai]

I don't mind my friends calling me "fag" or "queer" when we just mess around and they mean it playfully, heck even I call myself that. I do say "that's gay" though, and it doesn't bother me when other people say it. Context does play a big part in it though, and black people call each other "nigger" all the time, they just get hacked off when it's used in a derogatory sense.

it's just my opinion, but i hate that double standard. but also, like i said earlier, a word is just a word. it's the intent behind a word that matters. i, personally, don't let words bother me, regardless of the intent. and i can see how certain words (fag, nigger, chink, cracker, etc) can offend people. but, if yer offended by a certain word, i don't think it's cool that you let yer friends use it and not others.

like the word "nigga." now, even my black friends have said there's a difference between "nigger" and "nigga" but they don't like it when white people say it, yet are impartial when their black friends call each other "nigga." it's rediculous

[surfrboykai]

I have this terribly homophobic friend and pretty much everything he doesn't like he says it's gay.

this is probably none of my business brah, but if he's homophobic, why are you still friends with him?



It's incredibly derogatory and I will ask people not to use it in my presence.

More often than not, I'll say something to the person who uttered it.

hmm...so, in the topic i made about english becoming the official language of the united states, people kept bringing up the first amendment. so,how come people think it's wrong for people moving to this country to learn english, but it's perfectly fine to tell people not to use a word or phrase because you, personally, find it to be offensive?

[MarkNYC]

If someone calls my boyfriend or I a fag, my boyfriend calls them straight in a derogatory fashion. Their faces are priceless.

[pianoguy]

eh i dont like the word in any way
i think its stupid for gays to call eachother that word
just like blacks when they call eachother N*****
it just bugs me
there isnt anything positive about the word to me and i dont like context issues

[ALieToDieFor]

No, I'm not talking about the the word 'fuck' ;) I'm talking about the word 'fag'. I'm curious as to how you respond to it. Do you consider the word to be derogative, and get offended if someone referes to you as a fag? Or maybe you take it as a complement of sorts? I know some says find it quite offensive. Myself? Well I'm a fag ;) What about you?

If someone were to call me a fag I would tell them "thanks for the compliment" and call them a douche bag just to even the score,
or something of that nature.

Its wierd though.
When I hear someone call another person a fag or faggot
But instead saying " you fucking faggot"
and meaning it..it pisses me off so bad to hear someone called that.
I dont take it offensively when im called it but to make fun of someone
who might be..Idk it just makes me mad ><

[Bryan]

I dont like it. If you are using it lightly, it isnt so bad, but if it is ment to be offensive, then it pisses me off

[SamAlex728]

I think I'll resurrect this thread
I've been called a fag my entire life
That word really gets on my nerves
im fine with queer, gay, etc., but words like homo, fag, and dyke just make me wanna kill ppl

[Myzou]

I take it offensive, however, I let my friends get away with it... to an extent. After a few times, I will ask them to stop, and they do, if they didn't I'd start arguing with them >.> If a stranger says it, you better bet I'd be yelling at them :S

[firecausesburns]

One of my friends constantly uses it as an insult, and I really don't like hearing it used in that context.

[Andy_92]

When used in the wrong way its a hurtful word, but i know gay guys that use it to describe themselves jokingly. I suppose it depends on context. :S

:P
Good topic :)

[jazzrawr]

my freinds use it to insult people, which really pisses me off. I tell them off for it.

[Blitzkrieg]

For me it's all about context, if it's used in a jokingly way then I don't have a problem with it. But if it's used to degrade another person for being who they are then it really pisses me off. :eusa_thin

[Tokarov]

My friends don't say it anymore since they found out...but really only the jock types use it at my school, and I can't tell them anything. I just brush it off, but I don't like it when it's said over and over.

[motleyjunkie]

well even though no one has called me by it i still hate the word
i dont think any one should be ok with it
its such an ugly and offensive word

[Andy21]

It depends what context it's used in. If it's a joke then I'm fine with it but if it's meant to be derogatory I hate it. Generally I don't like the word anyway and I try to avoid calling cigarettes 'fags'.

Some words are just ugly in my opinion and that's one of them.

[xballetxbeautyx]

If it's some random person yelling, "You're such a fag!" to their friend, then it's gonna piss me off. I'm probably gonna yell at them. But if one of my close friends said it to me, I would laugh. I might actually feel kinda proud... like "Yeah, I'm a fag!"

It's this new pride thing I'm experiencing. I kinda like it.

[Stargate]

I hate it in general, even when its not being used toward me it still bothers me.

[TeeBe]

When someone throws that word out (or dyke, for that matter...) you had better believe that I am in their face about it. I have one friend though, who I gave up trying to break of the habbit. I probably only let him get away with it because he is gay.

"Aww...the fag and dyke are friends!" Heeheehee...Okay, so it is growing on me :D

[Joey]

Meh... it's not really a problem for me if it's friends and it's in good fun. Then it's like any other offensive joke thingy.

However, if it's somebody that doesn't know I'm gay and goes around using it willy-nilly like and in a bad manner I kinda go "Yeahhhh, stop saying it." and usually they stop... unless they're really dickheads, then it takes some form of argument.

[eclipse]

My brother is going through middle school now and sometimes when I visit home I've heard him throw around jokes with his friends (as middle schoolers do). I admit, I don't like hearing it, but I take him aside whenever I do hear him use fag in a demeaning manner and remind him it can be extremely offensive.

I pretty much just want to make sure he doesn't end up hurting someone verbally without knowing it, just as I was plenty of times during my pre-college years.

Just a side note - it's amazing to me the confidence all you high schoolers have. Just shows to me that incredible progress has been made in public acceptance of us within just the last five years (for the most part).

[Gerry]

I just find it to be a disgusting word that unnecessary. I find it offensive. It doesn't necessarily hurt my feelings but it does get quite annoying when that word is say oh too often.

[LOVEjames]

I refer to myself as a fag sometimes, but it's pretty much exclusively around people that I know are gay or gay-friendly. And I don't mind if other people say it in certain contexts if they're close friends. Like, if I just got through singing a huge Cher hit and someone said, "You're such a fag." with a smile on their face, then I would probably laugh.

[divadarya]

I think it depends on the context it's used in. If the single word is shouted at you then it's most likely offensive, but if it's used in a pleasant sentance by someone who is gay, gay-friendly or just a bit nieve about the terminology, then it's probably OK.

I am not keen on the word "fag" though, nor on the words "poof" or "queer" for that matter, and would prefer to be called "gay".

"Fag" is slang for "cigarette" here in the UK, and this use of the word has no collection with "faggot" as far as I know. There is also a (revolting) meat product called a "faggot" - again no connection.

Incidently, I recieved an email today (in relation to a vintage radio forum I run) from someone who managed to make the word "homo" offensive:

....I suspect some of the old hands that run this site are homo's including yourself, and if this is the case:..although legal? i would not want to be asscoiated with this site....Paul.

Wow, Paul..Isn't it amazing how many people who hate us can't spell or punctuate worth a sh__?
xo Darya

[divadarya]

I know how context can change it...If I call my best friend or myself a "tranny" it's no big deal. When I heard one of those excretable little punks on TMZ say "She looks like a tranny" it makes my blood boil a little.
This has gotten stirred up since whoosis on Project Runway used "Tranny fierce" and "tranny mess" so much.
I really dislike the word "fag" unless I hear one man saying it with affection to another.

[Red87]

It reallly doesn't bother me. But, being in a military environment, the word gets thrown around so much. I'm guilty of using it myself, but no one ever really means anything by it.

[Behling]

haha one of my friends who I'm out to calls me fag a lot but means so harm by it. its fun she'll be like "hey fag" and I'll respond "hey skank" so its all good XD, but used in a mean and or derogatory way I dont like it at all

[cityboy340]

Its only derogatory to me if its used that way, otherwise, I use it myself to make jokes etc, but those are LIGHTHEARTED not mean

[pirateninja]

Jesus, I just looked at my old post on this thread, and my opinion HAS changed since October.

Before, I was okay with "that's gay", now I'm not.

But as for "fag" or "faggot", I put it in the same context as nigger. Black people say "Yo, nigga!" all the time, and sometimes I've seen white friends of black people say it too. I would be okay with my friends and other gay people saying it to me, because it can be used in a friendly endearing term. But I do not stand for people I don't know, or homophobes using it against me.

[Grof142007]

I totally think we should all start saying "god that's SO straight!"

haha i've said that to my friends before and they said we'll stop saying thats gay if u'll stop saying thats strait so i did and started saying thats soo hetero:lol:

omg that so straight doesnt sound right BUT... That soo hetero works sooo much better

im so going to start and say this

i totally havent been saying these im so lame -.-

but i have been responding by using " And you dont even like boys"

[Nicvcer]

Jesus, I just looked at my old post on this thread, and my opinion HAS changed since October.

Before, I was okay with "that's gay", now I'm not.

But as for "fag" or "faggot", I put it in the same context as nigger. Black people say "Yo, nigga!" all the time, and sometimes I've seen white friends of black people say it too. I would be okay with my friends and other gay people saying it to me, because it can be used in a friendly endearing term. But I do not stand for people I don't know, or homophobes using it against me.

In that same context I hope the gay community abandons the word fag. We don't need it. At first it was an insult thrown at us, and we turned it into something that only WE can say and not get offended. But look at all the problems nigger and nigga have caused. I can't say nigger on this site and not feel guilty, let alone anywhere. Fuck changing the "context" to change its meaning, just drop it all together and lets move on.

[JSG]

So should black people abandon 'nigga' too?

[Chamber of Life]

So should black people abandon 'nigga' too?

Well I'm against nigga, fag and all slang that brings race or people sexuality life down. I'm black and I dont think ANY ONE should be able to say nigga. Not even black ppl, I dont say it and I dont want people saying it around me or calling me it. Same with fag, its something that puts us down and I dont agree with saying, even if you are "kidding". Its wrong in my eyes.

[pirateninja]

Jesus, I just looked at my old post on this thread, and my opinion HAS changed since October.

Before, I was okay with "that's gay", now I'm not.

But as for "fag" or "faggot", I put it in the same context as nigger. Black people say "Yo, nigga!" all the time, and sometimes I've seen white friends of black people say it too. I would be okay with my friends and other gay people saying it to me, because it can be used in a friendly endearing term. But I do not stand for people I don't know, or homophobes using it against me.

In that same context I hope the gay community abandons the word fag. We don't need it. At first it was an insult thrown at us, and we turned it into something that only WE can say and not get offended. But look at all the problems nigger and nigga have caused. I can't say nigger on this site and not feel guilty, let alone anywhere. Fuck changing the "context" to change its meaning, just drop it all together and lets move on.

It's a fair point, however there have been quite a few "slang" words for gay that we have adopted as well. "Queer" for example. And "Dyke". Again these are words that were originally used as a put down, but we have used ourselves.

I don't know, I guess it depends on the person. There are some people who I know who don't like "fag" or "queer" at all and I respect not saying it in front of them, but I myself only use them when I know that others don't mind me using it as a term of endearment, and like I said, I don't mind my gay friends saying "Sup, dyke?" to me.

[heatqueen]

Yesterday I somehow managed to think of a really horrible way to use the word 'fag' to insult someone. Now bear in mind I would never ever actually do this to anyone:

"Your breath smells so bad, it must be all the fags. Oh wait! You ARE a fag! That explains it!"

As I said before I'd never actually say that. I would be horrified if I did. It just seemed funny when I thought of it. I generally don't like the word 'fag', I mean there aren't any mean words for straight people so why should gay people have these horrible names?

People disapprove of the word 'nigger' so they ought also to disapprove of the word 'fag'. 'Nigger' is a bad word for black people, and 'fag' is a bad word for gays, so the use of it should be stopped as much as the word 'nigger' was.

[JayC]

it just depends on how u use it, i mean if one of my friends say Jeremy u r such a fag cuz i was staring at some guy then it fine and funny but if someone says it derragatorily like sshut up fag. o no there gonna be a fight

[JayC]

same thing for rednecks i mean i make fun of all my friends cuz they alll rednecks but i never say anything like You are nothing but a stupid redneck with no future besides farming

[JayC]

that would be just rude

[Absentminded]

Jesus, I just looked at my old post on this thread, and my opinion HAS changed since October.

Before, I was okay with "that's gay", now I'm not.

But as for "fag" or "faggot", I put it in the same context as nigger. Black people say "Yo, nigga!" all the time, and sometimes I've seen white friends of black people say it too. I would be okay with my friends and other gay people saying it to me, because it can be used in a friendly endearing term. But I do not stand for people I don't know, or homophobes using it against me.


Agreed 100%. I can't stand to hear it used all the time, every day, cause it's always used in derogatory terms. I'm guilty of using it, but only to mean cigarette, or it's original meaning. It shouldn't be derogatory, like many things.

[coreyjazz23]

it's kind of like using gay to mean stupid...it just doesn't. So it doesn't bother me, but it does if the person isn't talking to me.

[Kenny9210]

you know, I think its like the word "nigger" or "nigga" and how its treated with black people. I think its okay for gay people to use that word for eachother, but its just different for a straight person. Ussually when a straight person says fag, they mean it in a negative way anyways. I feel wierd and awkward when a non-homophobic straight person says it. I don't mind it at all when a gay person says it though. But i hate it when people use it in a derogative way, to say like, your a fag, as if its a bad thing.
So yeah, I think it should strictly be a gay community word! lol

Unless someone wants to get fought >=3

[steveo]

Personally I hate the word. It offends me when people say it but I don't ever say anything because I'm not all that confident and I'm not even out yet. But actually at my school or well town at least people say that's straight as in another word for cool. I guess that's the best way to describe it like lets say someone is walking down the hall and you bump into them on accident. You say sorry and they would probably say nah its straight dude.

[Jamey]

I refer to myself as a fag, and also use it as an insult. i.e. "Stop being a fag." I only say stuff like that to my straight friends. If a gay friend calls me a fag, I just call them a queen, etc. Straight people calling me or any other gay person fag is not so good. Usually makes me uncomfortable.

I also tend to use gay as a substitute for stupid. It's just a colloquialism that has grown on me, and to be honest I don't see why I shouldn't use it.

[Au Contraire]

I find it very offensive-- especially given the recent trend here of using any word for gay, as a synonym for "stupid." I bite my tongue every time I hear one of my friends use the word as an insult, especially since they use it as a reference for feminine guys and tomboyish females behind their backs. (Hmm... I'm definitely more on the butch side, so it makes me wonder what they say about me when I'm not around. :confused:)

[gentlegiant4]

Long before I came out, my friends were already using the word in situations like,

Friend 1 beats friend 2 at video game, begins to draw attention to it;
Friend 2 laughs and says, "You're such a fag".

That has never offended me and I doubt it ever will.

Since coming out though, my female friends' use of gay slurs has gone from minimal to zero in an effort not to offend me (though I've never said anything about it), and the guys have gone from heavy to sporadic use, at least around me. Again, without my saying anything. I think they care about me and don't want to hurt me. Fine with me.:thumbsup:

However, if someone I don't know very well, who obviously doesn't like me because of my sexuality calls me a faggot, then there's a problem. It has only happened once, but one time I was chillin' at the gas station waiting for my friend and this short fuck who dropped out of school last year called me a faggot so I walked up to him, made myself look dauntingly tall (me 6'2, him 5'6) and said, "You sure you want to say that again?" Bitch stepped off.

[jbb1236]

I'm not a huge fan of the word, there are couple of people who say it that I don't mind, but for the most part but for the most part no. Another thing I'm not a huge fan of is queer, I almost find that more offensive then fag, but oh well i guess, that word is more popularized i guess.

[skwidge]

If someone intends 'fag' to be derogative when they say it, then I think of it as derogative.

It's very interesting hearing all these POVs from you lot on EC :) I personally hate it that "gay" now also seems to mean 'stupid'. It's so thoughtless of all those people that use it, it would make coming out so much harder for a closeted person.