A few reminders

[Paul_UK]

Just a few reminders, everyone....

1. This forum is for under 18s (we have members as young as 12 and possibly even younger) so please don't post inappropriate content here. That includes graphics descriptions of sexual activity etc as well as pictures.

2. Please don't post images or messages that could be insulting, whether to other members of the forum or to groups of people generally.

3. Please keep calm. If you disagree with someone, explain your reasons calmly. Accept that there will be some things you disagree on, so once you have both explained your positions there is really no point in going over it again and again. Do not attack the person stating the opinion - making it personal doesn't help and generally makes it worse.

4. Please try not to let disagreements or other problems with other forum members spill over into unrelated threads. They can be discussed of course, but little comments in other threads doesn't help.

I have had to close a couple of threads recently, and we also had to delete a few posts here and there.

It is very rare that we actually have to do much moderating here, as everyone usually behaves sensibly. So having to do some moderating over the last couple of weeks came as a bit of a surprise.

Thanks. :)

[Double Dubya]

I would like to tell you that I am very impressed because I have never seen anything insulting on this website. It is a great place and everyone should be proud to have such a wonderful place to come to. Keep up the good work!:eusa_clap
WW:icon_wink

[EthanS]

Theres yunger than 12 year olds??!!!!!!!!!!!....:confused:

[Paul_UK]

From the dates of birth, everyone is 13 or older. But I know not all the dates of birth are accurate. I think one of our 13 year old members is actually 12. So there may be some other 12 year olds or younger here, though I think it is unlikely.

[paul7836]

I think 12.75 is when you sorta discover who you start likeing and who you dont. Then you admit it to yourself around 13.5 (at least for me).

[Miaplacidus]

When I post, I consider the fact that there are 13 year olds around, however, I admit I might be a little too "naughty" sometimes. It is not intentional, it's just the way I am. Plus, when I was 13 I wasn't innocent at all (I think I posted here about my early sexual experiences, yes, I was that young)... so it's difficult for me not to be naughty...

I'm really sorry about that.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

maybe they should have their own site "Empty Closets for Young Teens"...

I'm not a rule lover... :dry: I'm 15 so i'm a pg-13 person. Gay issues are not for children. anyone under 13 or even 13 is still pretty young... :***:

[wtinal]

Just a few reminders, everyone....

1. This forum is for under 18s (we have members as young as 12 and possibly even younger) so please don't post inappropriate content here. That includes graphics descriptions of sexual activity etc as well as pictures.

Thanks. :)

I appreciate all of your hard work. This forum has helped me tremendously in my darkest hours. But I am kind of shocked to be getting the impression the entire site is for those under 18. If it is for those under 18, should those over 18 be on this site? I guess I just need a little clarity - sorry if it is clear somewhere, I can't find it. - sorry

[wtinal]

I hope I'm just confused.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

This isn't a kids site that's for sure. most of the issues being discussed are not for people like 13ish. I'm mature for my age (15).... i just don't think all that is really that nessasary...

And deleteing our posts? that's like limiting freedom! i think we should get to say what we want and anyone who doesn't agree with it can just not be in the discussion. i don't really understnad what would have been deleted. i know sum ppl have wrote sum perverted or really sexual stuff, that's not ok for 'kids' but i hope you didn't delete any of MY stuff!

[Micah]

I appreciate all of your hard work. This forum has helped me tremendously in my darkest hours. But I am kind of shocked to be getting the impression the entire site is for those under 18. If it is for those under 18, should those over 18 be on this site? I guess I just need a little clarity - sorry if it is clear somewhere, I can't find it. - sorry

By "for under 18 year olds", Paul meant that it is a place that is acceptable for under 18 year olds, as well as those over 18. There are some support sites the cater specifically for those over the age of 18 (and as such - under 18 year olds are not aloud on them).

While all ages are welcome here, it should be remembered that younger people are present, and that this site has to be kept appropriate for those younger people as well :)

[wtinal]

Thank you for clarifying. There has to be understanding - hence a gay coming out site - that there will be discussions on sexual issues, sexual feelings, and the process a person goes through with that. PAUL - I would like to know if I have been inappropriate in any way. I want to know so I can learn from it. I love being here, and I want to see as many people as possible active on this site for support, advice, and just a place to go when the closet is lonely or when the closet is clean and life is hard. The specific time I was wondering about was a chat I had with someone in a private chat room. Everyone that participated in that discussion was over 18. It was not inappropriate, but it did discuss blatant sexual issues lesbians face - and those of us were facing.

[Miaplacidus]

I was inappropriate once - and Paul contacted me in like, 10 seconds I guess... Amazingly, it wasn't because of anything related to sex.

[TexasRomance]

Just a few reminders, everyone....

1. This forum is for under 18s (we have members as young as 12 and possibly even younger) so please don't post inappropriate content here. That includes graphics descriptions of sexual activity etc as well as pictures.

2. Please don't post images or messages that could be insulting, whether to other members of the forum or to groups of people generally.

3. Please keep calm. If you disagree with someone, explain your reasons calmly. Accept that there will be some things you disagree on, so once you have both explained your positions there is really no point in going over it again and again. Do not attack the person stating the opinion - making it personal doesn't help and generally makes it worse.

4. Please try not to let disagreements or other problems with other forum members spill over into unrelated threads. They can be discussed of course, but little comments in other threads doesn't help.

I have had to close a couple of threads recently, and we also had to delete a few posts here and there.

It is very rare that we actually have to do much moderating here, as everyone usually behaves sensibly. So having to do some moderating over the last couple of weeks came as a bit of a surprise.

Thanks. :)

question to 1:Why do I see people as old as 52 on here who are just members and not an administator or moderator of any kind?
In my opinion it is kind of disturbing to know someone of that age is actually speaking about his/her life to children and younf adults such as myself.
I also agree with wtinal.On a coming out forum there is going to be some talk of sexual feeling.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

question to 1:Why do I see people as old as 52 on here who are just members and not an administator or moderator of any kind?
In my opinion it is kind of disturbing to know someone of that age is actually speaking about his/her life to children and younf adults such as myself.
I also agree with wtinal.On a coming out forum there is going to be some talk of sexual feeling.


agreed:thumbsup:

[Micah]

Thank you for clarifying. There has to be understanding - hence a gay coming out site - that there will be discussions on sexual issues, sexual feelings, and the process a person goes through with that. PAUL - I would like to know if I have been inappropriate in any way. I want to know so I can learn from it. I love being here, and I want to see as many people as possible active on this site for support, advice, and just a place to go when the closet is lonely or when the closet is clean and life is hard. The specific time I was wondering about was a chat I had with someone in a private chat room. Everyone that participated in that discussion was over 18. It was not inappropriate, but it did discuss blatant sexual issues lesbians face - and those of us were facing.

If you have done something that's deemed inappropriate, you would know :icon_wink. We usually send a message to people acting what we deem as "inappropriate" for Empty Closets, and let them know. After all - how else can we expect them to learn/not repeat their mistake?

question to 1:Why do I see people as old as 52 on here who are just members and not an administator or moderator of any kind?
In my opinion it is kind of disturbing to know someone of that age is actually speaking about his/her life to children and younf adults such as myself.
I also agree with wtinal.On a coming out forum there is going to be some talk of sexual feeling.

To answer your first question: Just because you are 52 or older doesn't make coming out any less significant. Empty Closets caters to anyone who is unsure of their sexuality or how to handle coming out. We can also learn a lot from the experiences of others as well. Some older people take joy in helping others. Afterall - if they've made a horrible mistake in their life, it's sometimes nice to learn it from them, rather than make that same mistake again.

That being said - there are some older people on the internet with less than perfect motives, and the moderators and administrators here are well aware of such people, and do all in our power to prevent them from accessing empty closets. This is why it's important to message a moderator if you get any suspicious Private Messages here.

As for the site having sexual nature: we're perfectly aware of this. In fact you'll find that there are heaps of threads centred around sex and "body parts". But these sort of threads should be kept as tasteful as possible, and mostly confined to the "health and well-being" forum. There's a difference between sexual discussion and erotic discussion.

For example, a discussion on safe sex and how to practice safe sex techniques would be acceptable discussion here (and obviously be quite graphic in describing sex). However, a vivid recap of your "weekend hook-up" with the purpose (intended or otherwise) of arousing readers isn't really appropriate.

I hope that clears a few things up (and I hope my examples were clear enough!)

Dave

[Grof142007]

After reading all that all i have to say is

Dave & othe EC Admins,Mods YOU ROCK!:thumbsup:

[darkness]

Thank you for clarifying. There has to be understanding - hence a gay coming out site - that there will be discussions on sexual issues, sexual feelings, and the process a person goes through with that. PAUL - I would like to know if I have been inappropriate in any way. I want to know so I can learn from it. I love being here, and I want to see as many people as possible active on this site for support, advice, and just a place to go when the closet is lonely or when the closet is clean and life is hard. The specific time I was wondering about was a chat I had with someone in a private chat room. Everyone that participated in that discussion was over 18. It was not inappropriate, but it did discuss blatant sexual issues lesbians face - and those of us were facing.

you are so funny...:roflmao: I think it was a tasteful discussion nothing to graphic....:rolleyes: and Paul or Dave would have let us know if it were...

[darkness]

I think 12.75 is when you sorta discover who you start likeing and who you dont. Then you admit it to yourself around 13.5 (at least for me).

Paul I wish I had figured it out by the time I was 13.5 would have saved me a lot of trouble.......

[wtinal]

well, i just wanted to be sure.....i guess i've never said much inappropriate cuz i didn't know they'd let me know........

[Steam Giant]

I like that EC is equally welcoming to persons under 18 and as old as 50+. This place is really like one big family to me ^^ and I like how we can get support by, and help to support, those older than us and those younger than us. I am very happy with the way EC is now, and I wouldn't trade it for the world ^^

[Paul_UK]

To clarify:

This site is for all ages, but because that includes people under 18 and maybe as young as about 12, we have to try to keep to discussions that are acceptable to this age-range.

There are more under-18s here than in the population generally, because an 18+ forum (JUB) refers under-18s here when they are banned from there. Also people aged 18+ probably have more forums to choose from.

With sexual discussions the distinction really is "erotic". If the wording is intended or likely to cause sexual arousal, or is just unnecessarily graphic for the discussion then it's unacceptable. Most of the discussions here have been fine. We have had the odd one or two that have needed editing or removing my moderators, however there seems to be a few posts recently that are boarderline.

I think the lack of erotic and graphic stuff is one of the attractions of this place to some of our members who would be old enough to sign up at 18+ sites that do allow and encourage this.

Generally with problem postings etc one of us mods/admins will remove or edit the post and contact the member about it. There are also occasions where we will contact members if we feel that several of their posts, although not actually removed, are close to the limit.

Occasionally if a post is out of character (perhaps posted when someone is upset or angry) and serves no useful purpose we will just remove it without making contact specifically about it.

A couple of people mentioned moderators. TriBi and I have been doing this since the site started, and we invited Dave to join us a couple of years ago. At the moment the three of us are managing fine so there is no need to take on anyone else. If/when we do need extra mods we will look at members who have been active for some time, and shown consistent good sense and understanding of what the place is about.

[Micah]

If/when we do need extra mods we will look at members who have been active for some time, and shown consistent good sense and understanding of what the place is about.

And of course, Someone who knows how to press that big red "BAN ALL MEMBERS" button.

[TriBi]

^ Bugger....I don't think it works on other Mods...:p :badgrin:

Seriously tho', I was going to chime in on this thread earlier - but basically Paul and Dave said what I was going to say anyway. I think all three of us would agree that we're really happy at the "community" that EC has become...and as Paul said - we really don't have to do very much Moderating - the people here pretty much set the boundaries and stay within them anyway. :)

[Kimi]

Phew...Glad to hear that you guys(mods and admin) think that way:)
I was watching how this thread would go...

It's really good to know you guys like how this site going now(!) (!) (!)

EC ROCKS!!

[Miaplacidus]

The naughty boy (that is, me) will try to behave properly...

Seriously, I have never seen something on EC I considered inappropriate. Probably because Paul usually logs in earlier than I do... lol. I have seen some threads I didn't like at all (cut vs. uncut, for example) but they weren't really inappropriate, I just didn't like what people said in them.

[Paul_UK]

If you ever see anything posted in the forum which you think is unacceptable or are unsure about, please use the post report system. Click on the http://emptyclosets.com/forum/images/buttons/report.gif icon at the bottom left corner of the post, fill in your comments and send it. That will alert all the moderators and admins, then whoever is around can come and take a look at it.

Don't worry about whether it is serious enough or not. There is no problem with reporting posts that we decide don't need any attention. We would rather have too many post reports than too few. :)

[Lava421]

Because I'm not finding at least one of my posts, I think I need to apologize. I thought the post was fine at the time, but apparently my standards aren't as strict as the moderators'. Sorry. I'll be more careful now that I'm aware.

[Paul_UK]

I can't see any deleted posts by you (other than two you deleted in 2006) and definitely have not seen any problems with anything you have posted, so you have nothing to worry about.

I don't know about the disappearance of that post you are looking for though.

[Sugar]

ooo I didn't even know it was for under 18, i need to watch what i say a bit more from now on! Thx for the reminder and by the way thx for the new chat room, it's great :)

[Miaplacidus]

2. Please don't post images or messages that could be insulting, whether to other members of the forum or to groups of people generally.

3. Please keep calm. If you disagree with someone, explain your reasons calmly. Accept that there will be some things you disagree on, so once you have both explained your positions there is really no point in going over it again and again. Do not attack the person stating the opinion - making it personal doesn't help and generally makes it worse.

I think that remembering those two points Paul cited a while ago would be good for some of us today.

[careandrespect]

As a new member to EC I am very greatful to see that there is a site such as this. It is what I have been looking for. A place to go for true support and advice. Thank you.
It is also good that we don't discriminate people by their age because I am sure that regardless of a person's age he or she is able to give those who are just starting out sound advice which they have gained by personal experience.
careandrespect