Unlocking the closet door

[Crazy me]

hi Empty Closets :icon_bigg

So yesterday i was getting ready to tell my mom and i was SOOOO close but unluckily my finger got stuck in the door (oops) and then i completely forgot about coming out to her. It was so hard to work up the courage and now i dont know if im brave enough to attempt it again :icon_sad: i dont know why its so hard she always says that she doesnt care how people live their lives.. maybe she already knows but is waiting for me to say it

So how did you guys prepare to come out to someone? And how did u get the courage to do it?

[nick79]

Well, after realising that I was gay and that I'd have to tell my mum soon enough (because my sexuality's not gonna change and that's the way I'm gonna live my life), I decided there was no time like the present and just blurted it out to her.

It's fantastic when it's done - ie not worrying about coming-out to her anymore!

Good luck (*hug*)

[Crazy me]

good advice

I know im not gunna change, so i guess i shud just try and get it out and over with thanks :icon_bigg

[24601]

Coming out to my mom was probably the hardest. I hadn't really prepared at all - just decided to do it one night. I would advise against that. Just have some idea on how you want to initiate the conversation and the direction you want to take it. You should know your mom better than almost anyone else, so you can probably predict the way a conversation's going to go. Whatever you do, once you're started, don't back down. Just stay strong and do it!

[Crazy me]

I have just now thought of a topic that cud lead to it now if only i can get the courage of doing it.

im surprised u guys responded since im not in any real tough spot like others,

thnx for helping :icon_bigg

[wtinal]

You are in a tough spot. Coming out to my adoptive mother was VERY hard. I told her via email though. I can't even imagine having done that face to face. I just can't imagine the stress of that. I am dreading the next time I see her now that she knows. Don't discount the stress of coming out! It is hard, no matter what situation you are in.

[SpikySpice]

before you come out, yoou have to determine that you are gay, cuz you wont have chances to take your words back.

I There are many factors that makes my coming out be easier and complete. First of all i got help from here, peopel give me courage. But the most important thing is my brain has to teel me what to do.

I didnt rush, because i believe taht sooner or later I will come out so i feel relax and just work the proccess out. I came out everytime I felt excited or high, because those feelings supported my courage

[Miaplacidus]

ummm... I told my mom because I couldn't tolerate her homophobic remarks... I was angry. So I kind of rubbed it on her face...

Same with the rest of my family.

[EthanS]

Bloody hell y dont everyone jus get drunk then tell its da eeeeeeeeeeeeeasiiist way

[SpikySpice]

Omg Sugar did it, and me and Bill were talkiong bout it too, and I also posted an entry bout it too, lol

[EthanS]

Ya easiest way eva even tho im not gonna do it :icon_bigg :icon_bigg :icon_bigg :icon_bigg

[SpikySpice]

well, I've done once, and the next day, one of em even forgot what i said, so it dosent work for some people

[Midnight Angel]

Sounds like a good idea actually.....

[SpikySpice]

Get them drunk, talk them out, and you're done, teh wine or beer will talk for you

[Midnight Angel]

I like it. I might ask my friend Grey Goose to help me....hehehe

[SpikySpice]

dont drink Bud Light tho

[Red87]

I find when i get drunk, I come out to all sorts of people. Its kind of risky due to my line of work. I came back into the barracks last night drunk stumblin around wearing a gay pride wristband. Not that I mind that though :D. Realized it before anyone saw it. Last time I was drunk and on the computer I send like 5 or 6 IM's to random people on MSN telling them I was gay. No one had a problem with it.

[SpikySpice]

Oh, i also had a gay pride rubber band too. I just bought a rainbow shirt and a rainbow smiley keychain(I'll yank it at all my friends faces, lol)

[EthanS]

LOl wen im drunk i wont b able to go on da comp

[SpikySpice]

Well, I managed to , turned out it was always a big big mess

[EthanS]

Depends how drunk tho

[SpikySpice]

Yeah, nnormally I cant control my anger with alcohol, so when I'm more than .02, everything will explode

[Midnight Angel]

Sounds like good times

[EthanS]

I dont get angry wen im drunk, even tho im angry

[SpikySpice]

Yeah, normally alcohol will make you relax, but if i drink alcohol when I am angry, just rest little bit, but then if I got into an arguement,...

[EthanS]

Ul get into a cat fight?? xD

[SpikySpice]

no dog fight

[EthanS]

:lol: :icon_bigg

[Red87]

I absolutely LOVE being Drunk and on the computer. I always look forward to waking up in the morning and reading what I typed and said to people. I've actually gotten banned from the World of Warcraft Forums, Got banned from World of Warcraft the same night when I was drunk and causing chaos... Hmm... got suspended from the Star Wars Galaxies forums for 5 days... I have quite the delquincy record for web sites when I'm drunk. They need to make a "Don't Drink and Post" law or something. Same goes for instant messaging.



Oh.... And I'm also a very happy drunk. I never fight, but I find I like to make out with random people when I'm drunk... which can and can't be a good thing.

[SpikySpice]

but we are out off topic Eth:wave:

[SpikySpice]

HAHA LOL Red87, I was almost been kicked out from here the night I was drunk, lol

[EthanS]

owell

[Midnight Angel]

Time to put this train back on track

[SpikySpice]

I dont have a train, I got a motorcycle http://www.rolexforums.com/images/smilies/bike.gif

[EthanS]

LOL

Hey Red87 u eva been drunk wilst on here?

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Omgosh! lol me + here + drunk = MAJOR EMBARASSMENT! lol
For me and those we i will be telling that i have/had HUGE crushes on them

[SpikySpice]

OMG JOSH, make sure you buy some beer morrow, i will talk to you, ok:D:D

[Crazy me]

ya little off topic but as long as u have fun :icon_bigg

and spikyspice im pretty sure im gay since ive had feelings for guys for the past 3 years. yes i knew back when i was 11(not that long ago actually)

and for about a year or more b4 that i was unsure.

i shud be bad and get drunk since u all make it sound so cool.

[SpikySpice]

ya little off topic but as long as u have fun :icon_bigg

and spikyspice im pretty sure im gay since ive had feelings for guys for the past 3 years. yes i knew back when i was 11(not that long ago actually)

and for about a year or more b4 that i was unsure.

i shud be bad and get drunk since u all make it sound so cool.

:Dheeheehee, you know tho i dont think that alcoholl is good for u cuz ur only 14, but if you would like some Bud Light...:dry:

[nick79]

If you need an icebreaker in order to raise the topic with your mum, try "I joined an online gay youth community"....

[Crazy me]

Ok everyone ive made the first step i told my mom i finally did it. Im still in shock form doing it . So i cudnt wait till she got home cus i was probably gunna back out from doing it so i tried calling her talked about some stuff then right before i was gunna say it she had to hang up so luckily i was still able to talk to her on the computer we continued talking about random stuff then i cant even remember how i changed the topic but i did and i told her i was gay she said "Oh". Then she said it doesnt matter she still loves me then the conversation went back to normal and im prbly going to be talking to her later about it . and yes i know i shud have done it in person but i cudnt so i had to do it this way

but even though im in shock i feel better

also i didn't want to sound like a hypocrite when i posted on another thread lol

[Paul_UK]

Congratulations!

The most important thing is that you did it. How you do it doesn't matter so much - you have to use a method that will work for you.

It sounds like it went really well too. Please let us know how it goes when you see her later, and over the next few weeks too.

Have a look at the Parent/Family Stages of Grief (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=930) thread, which may explain any odd reactions etc over the next few weeks.

[Crazy me]

k i just had the first awkward talk with her so far she seems perfectly fine with it this was on the phone btw we jsut had a nice conversation she said im still ryan to her and weird how it was more awkward for me than for her. we talked about grandchildren theres no real grief in it but this only the first day so ill see how things go.

[Crazy me]

yes i listened to all your advice i had the topic planned i was gunna do it and get it over with and unfortunately when i had the courage she wasnt home but atleast planning it out helped.

Thank You Everyone for your advice and helping me out on my first step out of the closet

[CrimsonThunder]

hehe well done!

[SpikySpice]

ALRIGHT, good job^^

Hehe, you are welcome, we are always here to help
(i didnt help much lol, talking nonsense)

[Torture]

Way to go on coming out to you're mom.

... And the whole drinking part? lol, I could use a few beer right now myself. But when I drink Im a happy/horn bag drunk.

[CelebrityHead]

Hey, well done man!
The awkwardness soon died down after I told my mum.. it was the best feeling ever though. I bet your relationship with your mother will only get stronger, from what you've said about her reaction above :thumbsup:

[Jim1454]

Congrats! I still have the conversation with my parents ahead of me... don't think it gets any easier the older you get. If anything, maybe its harder!

Good for you!