Oh dear... Stuck on a small island for a week with a homophobe? What could go wrong?

[No day butoday]

So, in a few weeks I'll be going to Hawaii(WOO!) to visit my dear old grandfather(Less woo).

The thing is, I'm not sure if he knows about my sexuality, because I'm out to friends and immediate family, but I'm not sure if my parents told the rest of my family[All of which are crazy and homophobic, except for my immediate family and one aunt]. My mom tells everything to this man, so there's no reason to believe that this is an exception. Assuming he does know, do you have any advice on how to handle it? I know this is a tough thread to respond to, but an attempt would be teriffic. :P Thankyou!

[justjoshoh]

Prior planning prevents poor performance. I would ask Mom if she has told him prior to your departure. If he knows of it, perhaps he will have accepted that he can't change who you are and will not bother to bring it up. However, if he does bring it up and is negative, I would suggest that you remain respectful. If you chose to react, use the following:

CLEAR Method for Dispute Resolution

CALMLY as you discuss the issue
LISTEN to his complete thought
EMPATHIZE and acknowledge his thoughts
AVOID blaming him for things
RESPECT him while discussing the issues

Perhaps, a discourse between the two of you could be helpful for both you and he if each agree to these principles prior to engaging in the conversation.

[Jim1454]

Yup. Just ask mom rather than wondering. Either way, if you don't want to talk about it, don't bring it up. If it does come up, Josh's suggestion in terms of comminicating was great. (I hadn't seen that accronym before!)

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Ya, i'd first just check to see if she told him, and also if he doesn't bring it up, and you dont feel comfortable talking about it then dont bring it up.
Don't make your sexuality the whole point of the trip, because .... well its not! (!)
So just try to have fun, and be very open and honest with your grandfather and if he does want to talk bout it use the tips that Josh said and things will probably go well!

HAVE FUN (*hug*)

[No day butoday]

Thanks so much everyone, I'm really glad I joined this forum (&&&) (*hug*)

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Thanks so much everyone, I'm really glad I joined this forum (&&&) (*hug*)

(*hug*) (*hug*) No problem, thats wut we are here for!!(*hug*) (*hug*)