Crush...no brain.....

[wtinal]

Well, the crush I have had on the person at work has not dissapated at all. I should be able to be professional even though I have a crush on her, which I am mostly. But, I am finding that each time I have to interact with her I say something or do something incredibly stupid - like when she enters the room, my brain exits the room. For example, one time I was giving her directions to get through a building and I directed her to go through the men's locker room - duh. I felt so stupid. And it happens everytime I interact with her. What do I do? I have to interact with her on Tuesday - I really want to just call in....'brainless'. Help.

[Sugar]

I know exactly what you mean. Each time I like someone or have a crush on them I just can't seem to focus. It's so strange. Maybe try some meditation a good 10 minutes before seeing her. I mean just sit somewhere quite and try to clear your thoughts by focusing on your breathing. Maybe it'll help you stay calm and focused.

[Steam Giant]

God, I hate that! Yeah, I think a lot of us can relate to this. Advice...advice...oh look, an unopened fortune cookie!

A focused mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe

Well then! That's pretty damned appropriate, I think! Just try to focus on what you're talking to her about instead of focusing on her, as much as you'd like to. At least, that's what I try to do, but it doesn't always work! Hehe!

Best of luck out there!

[24601]

I know what you mean. Just try to, like Steam said, concentrate on what you're doing instead of what you're seeing, in a way. If you're working with her all day, I think the feelings will interfere less and less as the day gets on. Concentrate on the beginning of the time you need to spend with her, and the end may come easier. Or it may not, and you'll have to focus even more. See if you can have someone else around, too. With someone else around, you may feel more pressured to act normal. I don't know if that's possible, or not.

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

Hmmm, yes focusing ur thoughts and stuff would be a very good idea:) but maybe also try to feel more comfortable around her, by interacting with her more often? And then maybe the infatuation would wear off a bit? (like you would still like her, but u wont be so excited and jumpy everytime u see her)

And just relax and remember that u can do it:) (!) WHOO

[Zec24]

I react the same way when I'm around this girl I like. She happens to be my roommate's friend so she comes over to our room sometimes to hang out. She probably thinks I'm anti-social though because I can't even think of anything to say when she comes over and I won't speak to her. She just makes me too nervous.

Anyways, I agree with Band Geek, maybe seeing her a lot more and interacting with her more regularly would help you relax and calm down around her.

[wtinal]

Thank you guys for all the great thoughts. I only see her about twice a month or so, which I think keeps the infatuation alive. Also, I always see her at her best, so it's not like she ever does something stupid to ruin her perfect streak. I actually don't have the choice how often I interact with her, as far as work goes. She offered to let me use her home gym and a couple of other things, but I have never taken her up on those offers. Anwyay. I shall try relaxing beforehand and trying to concentrate on "the matter at hand" (it is hard because she is definitely more interesting than the subject matter we have to discuss).

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

(it is hard because she is definitely more interesting than the subject matter we have to discuss).

LOL!!! Nice:)

[wtinal]

Well, we had the meeting today. Other than the saggy jeans, she is certainly more interesting than the topics we discussed. She is SOOOOO cute and funny and well........perfect (okay maybe not, but close). I tried very hard not to say or do anything stupid, but I was so nervous I think there were times I just came across wrong. Also, I acted so uninterested in talking to her after the meeting. She really worked to get to a place where we were alone, and then I blew it - I acted like I didn't even want to converse. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!!!

Anyway, I am taking a client to her house tomorrow. Although the client will be there, at least I get to see her. Will this crush ever go away?!!! I would be content if I coudl just be "normal" when I am around her. She even asked me how things were going, and I gave her a one sentence answer - why, why, why. Ya know, even if she is taken, we could still be friends, if only I could get over acting like a retard. I sincerely hope that I can get it together to be somewhat normal tomorrow. That would be really nice.

I feel like a teenager, but I want her to be my friend.

[Steam Giant]

Wow, this is one serious crush! Damn, I'm sorry, that's not helping is it? I see another fortune cookie fortune here, let's see if this one is as pertinent as the last.

You have had a good start. Work harder!

Wow. I think the fortune cookie writer was angry at his sweat shop supervisor there. Now, this is another crappy thing about crushes...you don't want to act like an idiot, so you limit the time that you're around them. This has the obvious negative effects you've described, but also since you're not learning how to act around her, it makes this last a whole lot longer.

I think the best thing for you right now is for you to talk to her more. When you talk, focus on the topic of conversation. Focus on her answers instead of her qualities. It's not going to be easy, but afterwards, when you walk away, you'll think to yourself, "hey, we had a pretty good chat!" Just keep at it after that, and let us know how things are going ^^

[Moth]

I do and say stupid things even to people I don't have crushes on, just because I'm really bad at interacting with other people... so I feel for you! I always end up leaving any interpersonal interaction thinking that I did or said something stupid that I shouldn't have. Try not to beat yourself up too much about it... I've learned that the person you were talking to generally isn't nearly as bothered as you are! I can't really give you much advice because I have a hard time with this too, but try to relax as much as you can and just be yourself. Don't try too hard to say the right thing or be impressive, because you'll just make yourself more tense. Generally people like you better for who you are - even with your flaws - than who you try so hard to be when you're trying to do and say all the right things.

[wtinal]

Thanks guys. The crush certainly has lasted a long time, but I suppose it should be expected as this is the first person in my life that I have been attracted to so completely.

I shall try and be myself. You care right moth in saying that I am probably bothered by myself more than she is. We shall see how it fairs today.

[wtinal]

Today went better with her. I was at her house with a mutual client of ours. I don't think I said anything stupid, I don't think I acted uninterested in talking to her, and to boot - her partner and daughter came home while we were talking (working kind of). Her daughter knows who I am and came over and sat on my lap and talked to me. Her partner also got involved in the conversation because we needed help with something on the computer. So, all in all, I think it was the best interaction yet. I still would desperately like to be her friend, and am still to scared to invite her to something or invite myself to something she is doing. Anyway, thanks for listening to me share. I know I really should just suck it up and get over it. I am an adult and these things probably should not be that hard. Anyway, I'll shut up now.