The Right Time?

[DJ Sweetz]

This is my first time posting on this part of the forum and I need a little advice. I want to come out to my sister first, but my parents are fighting with each other and it's taking a toll on our family. Should I tell her now, or should I wait until my parents resolves things, then come out to her? BTW, my sister is 24.

[dreamer]

My advice is not to do anything rash. If an oportune moment arises then by all means seize it if you feel it's right. Make sure its what YOU want to do, and thay you are totally ready. Think about possible sinareo's that could occur. There may never be the 'right' time to tell them, you could make up excuse after excuse for years. However you are still fairly young so you have a little more time. It totally depends on you.

I realise that was a bit ambiguous, sorry.

[EthanS]

I think u shud w8 till ya parents calm down, unless ur sis is a good sis, da ones dat r there for ye

[24601]

You should come out to your sister when you feel ready. Like dreamer said, if an opportunity arises and you feel ready, then by all means tell her. But, at the moment, I'd hold back a bit until things settle down. You don't want to overload anyone, including yourself.

If your sister is not involved in the fighting, and has moved away, then you can go for it whenever you're ready. If she is involved somewhat, then hold back. That's what I say, anyway.

You have a lot of time, no need to rush things.

[DJ Sweetz]

She still lives with us and the fight is just between our parents. It's just that the fight is so bad, my mom is living at her friend's house. Should I still tell her?

[dreamer]

Maybe now isn't the best time. Afterall, she will also have to deal with your parents fighting aswell as you. As i said before, it depends entirly on the situation and circumstances at the time

[Sam]

I think that you should wait before you tell her. She already has enough to deal with right now. I would wait until your family situation gets better then tell her. good luck.

[DJ Sweetz]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I'll just wait it out, but looks like the fight is getting better, My dad stop screaming on the phone everytime they talk.

[mrrolemodel]

i'd tell you that if youre ready and you want to tell her then you should go for it, instead of waiting on your parents.
there will always be excuses for us to not say it.
so i think you should just go for it. =)

i would only hold back on telling your parents, but your sister i think you should tell.

[DJ Sweetz]

Thanks again ya'll. I think my sister will understand cuz I tell her everything and when I mean everything, I mean everything! I'm just waiting for the perfect time.

[mrrolemodel]

from my experiences there isnt always a perfect time.
it seems like he ideal thing, waiting for the "perfect time"
but sometimes it isnt always realistic.

but seeing as how she is your sister, and ive only experienced trying friends, and you live with her, it should be easier to get some time alone with her.
and plus, youre younger than i am, so youve got more time than i do. =)

[DJ Sweetz]

I was so close to telling her, but I chickened out! And on Friday, she's leaving to go to Arizona For a week, which means that I have more time to think 'bout it.

[SpikySpice]

Well
how about coming out thru the phone, you dont have to talk to her face to face, which is aliitle bit easier soemtimes
or by email, letter, etc.
But u'll feel pissed on the day before she gets home tho

[DJ Sweetz]

I think I might tell her before she leaves, and hopefully, she doesn't tell her husband. I'm just waiting until we're the only ones in the house. What should I say? I hope she accepts me because one of her high school friends was gay.

[mrrolemodel]

just tell her you have something to tell her because she is very important to you and you feel she should know.
tell her that youre still going to be the same person, its just now she knows something more about you.

im sure it'll go fine.
especially if shes had gay friends.

[DJ Sweetz]

I'm gonna tell her tomorrow, but she's actually leaving next week Thursday. Wish me luck. *sigh*

[mrrolemodel]

good luck bud.
i hope you do it.
=)

[Paul_UK]

Good luck! Please let us know how it goes.

[DJ Sweetz]

Just great!:rolleyes: I can't get a single second alone with her Because she's always with her husband.:tantrum: I had a small chance cuz we were sitting on the couch watching TV, but a car came into our drive way and I went into the garage to check who it was, and I when I went back inside, she was on her way to back to the room!:eusa_doh: I could've freaking told her, but I just had to look in the garage!

[SpikySpice]

If you think you wont have any chance to talk to her, then write her a letter, she can read it on bed or at work or anywhere else.

But it's your choice;)

[mrrolemodel]

maybe just tell her you need a second alone with her to talk to her about something.
and then you'll have your chance. =)

[DJ Sweetz]

I'm just wrote her a note Saying that I'm gay and that I'll still be the same person, that I lover her and that I hope she's accepts me. I posted the note on the door, since her rooms next to mines and I'm just sitting in my room waiting for her to read the note.

[DJ Sweetz]

F**K! She read the G**damn note and she came into my room. She freaking asked me my I wrote such a letter, and I told her I don't know. She tells me that I'm at an age where I'm just confused and not sure. I started to cry and I never wanted to say anything else so we just hugged and she went back into her room. Great, I feel like Sh*t now:tears:

[DJ Sweetz]

If you wanna read what happened, read my blog. *sigh*

[mrrolemodel]

dude, im so sorry that it didnt work out.
if she talks to you about it again i hope you can tell her that this is who you are and that youre sure about it.

[beckyg]

grillz,

Don't give up on your sister just yet. She's just shocked. If you get a chance to talk to her again, tell her that you are not confused or you would not have told her. Tell her that this has been extremely difficult for you and that you told her first because you trust her. Just try to answer her questions honestly. Keep the lines of communication open and things will get better. Hang in there.

[paul7836]

I guess I ran into that exact thing when i told my mom (a few days ago). She asked questions and I just answered i dont know. Now I wish i had told her the truth. I guess I need to figure it out too. Just wanted to say you arent alone(*hug*) (*hug*)

[DJ Sweetz]

I wanna tell her that I'm not confused, but I feel like I wanna avoid her and never talk to her again until she leaves.:bang: :bang:

[SpikySpice]

Well, I just read your blog.

Your sister just want to care about you, that's all, she didnt say that you are not gay, she just said that she thinks you are confused, somehow she is right, cuz we kids at your age are confused too;)

But if you are sure that you are gay, then tell her again, dont freak out, dont get mad, because everything needs to go slowly;)

You should never avoid or leave your sister, because you cant do that forever! You need to make her believe who you are

You see, taht's the way older sisters are, they want to make us become the rigth people, they just care for us! But we have to amke them understand

After I told my sis I am gay, she talked to me everyday, she tried to chnage me, still now, but I was too stubborn, I fought for myself, now she talked less about it, and I feel great, I'm still her little brother;)

[DJ Sweetz]

Whoa.... I almost forgot about this thread! Well, it's been a month since I told her, so here's an update (if you haven't read my blog): Things are back to normal between me and her, but I still think that she's acting like I never told her anything....... We never talked about all the things that happened that night and I feel like she's always trying to avoid that subject everytime we talk. I just want to talk to her and clear things up between us. I stopped telling her my secrets. She doesn't even know about my breakdown that happened to me a few days ago....... OK, maybe things aren't normal between us, but hey! Who said my family was normal?

And as for my parents..... That's another story.....

[who am I]

take your time tell her when your ready and feel comfortable with who you are and dont tell her when your parents are fighting either