Dealing with mom..

[Rob13]

Ok, so I posted a thread in coming out stories not long ago about coming out to three of my friends. I had already told my mom months ago and thought everything was great.. But i guess it isn't. I told my mom I told Kim and Emma that I was gay. She was fine with Kim cause she knows her but she was like, "Emma is going to tell someone". I was like wtf, you don't even really know Emma and I trust her. I told her that maybe I shouldn't talk to her about things like this.. Then I asked, "Do you know why I am telling people?" and she was like, "To feel good." and I was like, "No, because I want to talk to people about it and to be myself with them. I just want someone to talk to other than you." (cause we didn't really talk much aobut it. Then she was like "I don't have anyone to talk about it with.." and i was like "Well I dunno, Talk to Kim if you like." Then she just started balling. I thought, "Oh crap..." I hugged her and told her i was sorry but I didn't really know what I did wrong. I think she still hasn't gotten use to me being gay yet.. When i was hugging her, she said, "I'm not made of steel Robbie." Then i left the room... She later came up to me and said she was sorry and was proud of me. She thinks what ever she says will make things bad and not saying anything is bad too. So she doens't know what to do, and I don't really know what she is thinking. She asked if I wanted theorpy for knowing how to deal with parents and family things like that. I said I was fine with who I was and it isn't me who has the problem. I told her I want her to talk to some sort of parents with gay children group or something. She said that there was nothing to talk about for her. Even though she said earlier, "I have no-one to talk to." Sooo I dunno what to do. She also said she is sad cause I am leaving in less than 2 months for university and she is stressed from our new house bing built and stuff.. But I dunno what it is about me being gay that she is sad about cause she is simply not talking to me about it. I hate making her cry but it is hard to not make her cry when I can't change who I am and I am NOT going to fake it. So I really dunno what to do but give her time. Anything else for advice anyone?? Thanks

Robbie

[mrrolemodel]

i really think that maybe she just wants to talk to you about it.
because after you said that you wanted other people to talk to about it than her, and then she said she had nobody to talk to she cried.
so it seems like maybe she'd like to talk about it?

just make sure to tell her that if she wants to talk about it with you she can and youre open to any questions she might have and you'll try to answer them honestly and genuinely.

she might be feeling a sense of "loss". isnt that incorporated with the parent/family stages of grief somewhere?
since you just came out to her not too long ago she is probably still adjusting.
she also might not realize that youre still the same person, so make sure she knows that even though youre gay youre still the same person you always were (if you already havent)
also, since youre leaving in two months is another reason why she might feel like shes losing you.

shes probably just really stressed out, from a combination of things.
just make sure to tell her what i said up there about talking to her.

she might still just need some time too?


i apologize if this response doesnt make sense/isnt much help.
i had a much nicer one all typed up.
and unfortunately, aol disconnected me, as usual. and it was lost.
but i thought i'd give it another shot.

but i hope it helps even a little.
best wishes with your mom and good luck.