im confused

[Psych!]

well i dunno what's going on, but im not sure what i am right now (str8, bi, gay, etc.) and it's getting on my last nerve right now. i've always liked girls and had a few crushes while growing up, but now that im a teen, i dunno what i want. eventhough i still like girls and everything, i don't feel the same way my friends do and feel kind of uncomfortable when they talk about girls. it's like all this time i have lost interest in girls :bang: i grew up in an extremely homophobic enviroment where everyone i know says that gay people a disguisting people with sick minds and that they are going to burn in hell, all those things that homophobes make up, personally i dont feel that way, but those thought make things even worse for me. it's kinda hard to grow up the way i feel in a place like this.

to make things even worse, my parents, especially my mom, are very homophobic. they make fun of everyone that acts gay or metrosexually (like guy that tweeze or wax their eyebrows or shave their legs). so talking to them is completely out of the question. my mom even told me that i should never turn gay or else, so that scared the :***: out of me.

i have no idea where to turn to so i can sort things out and finally decide what i am. i would really appreciate any advice and/or help.

thanx

[CrimsonThunder]

Hey there, as long as you yourself know that homosexuality is not wrong or disgusting then you need not worry what other people think.

I think you'll find alot of people in their younger years went through the liking girl stage, its because its what we think we're ment to do then we realise what we really want.

Welcome to EC. (*hug*)

[Psych!]

Hey there, as long as you yourself know that homosexuality is not wrong or disgusting then you need not worry what other people think.

I think you'll find alot of people in their younger years went through the liking girl stage, its because its what we think we're ment to do then we realise what we really want.

Welcome to EC. (*hug*)

thanx 4 the welcome :thumbsup:

the thing is that eventhough i know its wrong, i don't know what to do and i'm scared of what might happen.

and something i forgot to say what that to top it all off, i'm gonna go to a new school so i'm gonna be completely alone :icon_sad:

[CrimsonThunder]

I think you made a typo there. =P

What are you afraid about happening?

New school is hard and scary at first, but the people could be nice and you could get friends straight away. Just be yourself and you'll see what happens.

Where you from?

[Psych!]

I think you made a typo there. =P

What are you afraid about happening?

New school is hard and scary at first, but the people could be nice and you could get friends straight away. Just be yourself and you'll see what happens.

Where you from?

my bad :P oh well

as for being afraid, it might be that i could be gay or bi (still dunno), and if i am i would be afraid of rejection and possible humiliation if anyone ever found out

the thing is that i have been at this school for 10 years, so being the new kid isn't easy. another thing is that my school skipped me a grade and everyone hates the smart kid, even though i'm more of the high B-low A's kinda guy.

and im from PR, so moving to the US is kinda hard

[CrimsonThunder]

Be proud. =P Im a low C person. ;_;

And try not to think about your sexuality too much, thinking can make it more difficult.

[Gera-Kun]

well, just let time pass by. and reflect your feelings about it in your head. thing'll work out for you, at least i hope. I'm behind you, man! Whatever your desicions take you out as!

[Psych!]

well, just let time pass by. and reflect your feelings about it in your head. thing'll work out for you, at least i hope. I'm behind you, man! Whatever your desicions take you out as!

thanx, to both of you, 'cause i really don't know what to do and I've been stressing a lot about this. (*hug*)

[Gera-Kun]

thanx, to both of you, 'cause i really don't know what to do and I've been stressing a lot about this. (*hug*)

(*hug*) yeah., no worries. if you ever do tell your parents, tell them about P-FLAG. that'll probably help lots. and if you don't, we'll all understand.

[Psych!]

(*hug*) yeah., no worries. if you ever do tell your parents, tell them about P-FLAG. that'll probably help lots. and if you don't, we'll all understand.

if i am gay or bi, i don't think i should tell them, they wouldn't understand, i know that for sure :bang:

[Gera-Kun]

if i am gay or bi, i don't think i should tell them, they wouldn't understand, i know that for sure :bang:

ok. just reflect upon it. i'm sure the answer will come.just remember that god loves you no matter what the bible or churches say. (Sorry for bringing religion up)

[Psych!]

ok. just reflect upon it. i'm sure the answer will come.just remember that god loves you no matter what the bible or churches say. (Sorry for bringing religion up)

no worries, but I don't know why people say stuff like this, cause i saw it and it made me feel like :***:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/20051129_northlake-il5.jpg

i believe that God loves everyone the same but it's hard growing up somewhere where everyone is extremely homophobic, both in my neighborhood and school. i'm very confused and actually scared of what can happen. so i dunno if i'll ever be comfortable with what might happen.

[Gera-Kun]

no worries, but I don't know why people say stuff like this, cause i saw it and it made me feel like :***:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/20051129_northlake-il5.jpg

i believe that God loves everyone the same but it's hard growing up somewhere where everyone is extremely homophobic, both in my neighborhood and school. i'm very confused and actually scared of what can happen. so i dunno if i'll ever be comfortable with what might happen.

whoa. yeah, i hate ppl like that. yeah, i understand how you're feeling. if you do come out like that, look for a GSA group near by. i can't find one here, so i'm gonna see if the school would let me make a GSA club. just remember no matter what, you have friends that understand you, even though it's just on the computer.

[Psych!]

whoa. yeah, i hate ppl like that. yeah, i understand how you're feeling. if you do come out like that, look for a GSA group near by. i can't find one here, so i'm gonna see if the school would let me make a GSA club. just remember no matter what, you have friends that understand you, even though it's just on the computer.

thanx, btw is the GSA the Gay/Strait Alliance?

[Gera-Kun]

thanx, btw is the GSA the Gay/Strait Alliance?

yeah. and P-Flag is somthing similar. stands for Parents, families and Friends of Lesbians And Gays.

[Psych!]

yeah. and P-Flag is somthing similar. stands for Parents, families and Friends of Lesbians And Gays.

ok, cause i think the school i'm going to this year has a GSA

[Gera-Kun]

ok, cause i think the school i'm going to this year has a GSA

cool. and just in case, go in as a supporting straight to begin with, or just simply say that you're confused. but it's your decision.

[Psych!]

cool. and just in case, go in as a supporting straight to begin with, or just simply say that you're confused. but it's your decision.

yeah, but since i don't know the school, i dunno if everyone there is considered gay even if they're supporting straits

[Gera-Kun]

yeah, but since i don't know the school, i dunno if everyone there is considered gay even if they're supporting straits

well, wait a few days or weeks to find out. and if the coast is clear, join if you want.

[Psych!]

well, wait a few days or weeks to find out. and if the coast is clear, join if you want.

will do, but the fear is still there :help:

[Gera-Kun]

will do, but the fear is still there :help:

awwww. wish i could huggle you to let the fear run away! (*hug*) well, just try your best, kay?

[Psych!]

awwww. wish i could huggle you to let the fear run away! (*hug*) well, just try your best, kay?

yeah... i'll try, i really will

i'm scared of being a loner here, it took me all 10 years at this school for people to accept me as part of their group, and now i'm leaving for a new school where i don't know anyone and i'm pretty sure that in the US people focus more on cliques and it's harder to make friends.

[Gera-Kun]

yeah... i'll try, i really will

i'm scared of being a loner here, it took me all 10 years at this school for people to accept me as part of their group, and now i'm leaving for a new school where i don't know anyone and i'm pretty sure that in the US people focus more on cliques and it's harder to make friends.

you should have moved here in texas. lol. in my school, one of the popular guys was an open gay! XD lol

[Psych!]

you should have moved here in texas. lol. in my school, one of the popular guys was an open gay! XD lol

wow, i thought texans were really conservative and religious (homophobic), guess I was wrong

[Gera-Kun]

wow, i thought texans were really conservative and religious (homophobic), guess I was wrong

weel, i guess some of them are, but it's just that the community i live in is so small, that people don't even care. I still love living here no matter what.

[Psych!]

weel, i guess some of them are, but it's just that the community i live in is so small, that people don't even care. I still love living here no matter what.

definitely, that's awesome

[Gera-Kun]

definitely, that's awesome

I just can't help but cry for you!!! :tears: you live in such a horrible place and such... I know! I'll go resue you and bring you here! lol.

[Psych!]

I just can't help but cry for you!!! :tears: you live in such a horrible place and such... I know! I'll go resue you and bring you here! lol.

haha, yeah, homophobe central

[Gera-Kun]

haha, yeah, homophobe central

well, what grade you going to?

[Psych!]

well, what grade you going to?

11

[Gera-Kun]

11

cool me too. Juniors rock! lol

[Psych!]

cool me too. Juniors rock! lol

haha, but i don't like being the guy that skipped a grade, even though it was kindergaden

[Gera-Kun]

haha, but i don't like being the guy that skipped a grade, even though it was kindergaden

you did? cooL!^^ i started school at kinder. so yeah.

[Psych!]

you did? cooL!^^ i started school at kinder. so yeah.

trust me, NOT COOL!, everyone treats u like crap

[Gera-Kun]

trust me, NOT COOL!, everyone treats u like crap

Awww...i'm sorry. i won't treat you like crap! never will! (*hug*)

[Psych!]

Awww...i'm sorry. i won't treat you like crap! never will! (*hug*)

thanks (*hug*)

[Gera-Kun]

thanks (*hug*)

no prob! i feel like we're very good friends already! XD:icon_bigg

[Psych!]

no prob! i feel like we're very good friends already! XD:icon_bigg

yeah, it feels kinda easy to talk to you especially about this, since u r going through it or already done with it

[Gera-Kun]

yeah, it feels kinda easy to talk to you especially about this, since u r going through it or already done with it

yeah. glad to help!^^ i find it easy to talk to someone like you about my past...i've always found it hard. now thanks to you, i realized it was all nonsense! lol. I love ya pal!

[Psych!]

yeah. glad to help!^^ i find it easy to talk to someone like you about my past...i've always found it hard. now thanks to you, i realized it was all nonsense! lol. I love ya pal!

aw thanx, i feel really good now, like the stress is all gone, i just needed to talk to someone (*hug*)

[Gera-Kun]

aw thanx, i feel really good now, like the stress is all gone, i just needed to talk to someone (*hug*)

yeah. talking always helps, even though it's through the internet. (*hug*) don't forget that i'll always wish you the best, ok?

[Psych!]

yeah. talking always helps, even though it's through the internet. (*hug*) don't forget that i'll always wish you the best, ok?

yeah, thanx, i wish u the best of luck with your family

[Gera-Kun]

yeah, thanx, i wish u the best of luck with your family

thanks. man these were good talks! XD i really needed it. and glad you feel relieved and more calm.^^

[Psych!]

thanks. man these were good talks! XD i really needed it. and glad you feel relieved and more calm.^^

way calm, but still something is bothering me but i don't know what

[Gera-Kun]

way calm, but still something is bothering me but i don't know what

you still need to find yourself. that's probably what you need.

[Psych!]

you still need to find yourself. that's probably what you need.

the thing is i dunno what i want :bang:

[Gera-Kun]

the thing is i dunno what i want :bang:

you don't have to find out right now. it could take ppl til their thirties to find out. yet, i hope you find out before you make any mistakes.

[Psych!]

you don't have to find out right now. it could take ppl til their thirties to find out. yet, i hope you find out before you make any mistakes.

yeah i hope so too, but i feel kinda down right now, dunno if it's fear or depression, but i don't feel so good about myself

[Gera-Kun]

yeah i hope so too, but i feel kinda down right now, dunno if it's fear or depression, but i don't feel so good about myself

if i could meet you and talk to you personaly, I would've held you in my arms crying for you! i really wanna help you out! just i don't know how else...

[Psych!]

if i could meet you and talk to you personaly, I would've held you in my arms crying for you! i really wanna help you out! just i don't know how else...

i kinda feel like doing that myself, it's too much for me to handle

[Gera-Kun]

i kinda feel like doing that myself, it's too much for me to handle

well, sometimes it's better to let it go than hold it in. go somewhere where you can be alone... cry to your hearts content. it actually feels good...

[Psych!]

well, sometimes it's better to let it go than hold it in. go somewhere where you can be alone... cry to your hearts content. it actually feels good...

well... that's probably what i need, i've been holding this in for so long

[downboyup]

it does feel good.
good luck with sorting things out.

[Psych!]

it does feel good.
good luck with sorting things out.

thanx

[careandrespect]

Hello ezjaxter,

I am very glad that I had the opportunity to read over the posts that you have written. I understand where you are coming from for I have been stuggling with these issues since I was 15. The most important thing is to take it one day at a time and realize that you are not on this journey alone. Another thing which I am sure that you will find most helpful is this site for it can provide an excellent opprtunity to voice your feelings and learn from others that have walked this same journey. Being able to let your feeling out is the first step in this process for it can help you sort things out.

Also as someone who takes his religious faith seriously. The sign that you have added is not true. For the love of God is more than we can imagine. It is not the human love that we think of. Rather it is unconditional which means that he loves us as we are and wants the most for us.

All the best,
careandrespect

[Psych!]

Hello ezjaxter,

I am very glad that I had the opportunity to read over the posts that you have written. I understand where you are coming from for I have been stuggling with these issues since I was 15. The most important thing is to take it one day at a time and realize that you are not on this journey alone. Another thing which I am sure that you will find most helpful is this site for it can provide an excellent opprtunity to voice your feelings and learn from others that have walked this same journey. Being able to let your feeling out is the first step in this process for it can help you sort things out.

Also as someone who takes his religious faith seriously. The sign that you have added is not true. For the love of God is more than we can imagine. It is not the human love that we think of. Rather it is unconditional which means that he loves us as we are and wants the most for us.

All the best,
careandrespect

Thank you for having the patience to read over every post here. As you can probably see I don't live in a place or live with people that are as accepting as others. Some people were lucky that their friends and family undestood their situation, but since that isn't my case, it is very hard for me. Being here is great since I can let out my feelings and try to sort things out, but eventhough I'm trying, still I don't have an answer.

I know that God loves us and that we are all the same in his eyes, but the fact that most of the people I know think like that won't help out.

[CrimsonThunder]

Do I see the next EC couple in this thread? I think so. =D

You feelin better now Jey?

[Psych!]

You feelin better now Jey?

Just a little, cause I'm still confused about this. Plus, I read a thread about what the bible states against homosexuality, so now I really feel bad about this, and definitely don't want it now.

[CrimsonThunder]

Don't pay attention to that shit. The bible says nothing wrong about homosexuality, I have posted here a few times with links to websites with proof, cant find it now coz im too tired sorry.

[Psych!]

Don't pay attention to that shit. The bible says nothing wrong about homosexuality, I have posted here a few times with links to websites with proof, cant find it now coz im too tired sorry.

its ok, but I don't feel better at all about all of this

[Jim1454]

It might take a long time for you to feel better. But you're on the right path now - talking about this with people that aren't judgemental, and that can understand you, is the best thing you can do! This site is great for that!

I hope your move goes well. If you're friendly and approachable, I'm sure there will be at least ONE person at your new school that will help you out. I'm sure you won't be the only person that is new - so if nothing else - stick with the other new people!

Welcome to EC. From Jim in Toronto!

[Psych!]

It might take a long time for you to feel better. But you're on the right path now - talking about this with people that aren't judgemental, and that can understand you, is the best thing you can do! This site is great for that!

I hope your move goes well. If you're friendly and approachable, I'm sure there will be at least ONE person at your new school that will help you out. I'm sure you won't be the only person that is new - so if nothing else - stick with the other new people!

Welcome to EC. From Jim in Toronto!

Well I was talking to a girl that was in my previous school and I think she's going to this school too, so at least I have that.

[Gera-Kun]

Well I was talking to a girl that was in my previous school and I think she's going to this school too, so at least I have that.

cool! and you two are friends, right?

[Psych!]

cool! and you two are friends, right?

i haven't seen her since we were in the 1st grade, so not really :(

[Gera-Kun]

i haven't seen her since we were in the 1st grade, so not really :(

awww. that sucks. well, wishing the best to you in your new school!^^ (*hug*)

[Psych!]

awww. that sucks. well, wishing the best to you in your new school!^^ (*hug*)

thanx, but i dunno how its gonna go since it's out in a whole new country

[Gera-Kun]

thanx, but i dunno how its gonna go since it's out in a whole new country

yeah, should be hard. why are you moving anyways?

[Psych!]

yeah, should be hard. why are you moving anyways?

i dunno, my parents just asked me out of the blue if i wanted to go live with my uncle and finish high school over there

[Gera-Kun]

i dunno, my parents just asked me out of the blue if i wanted to go live with my uncle and finish high school over there

oh. well, i guess that's nice. but certainly hard decision to make, huh?

[careandrespect]

Hello, its me again (careandrespect). I think that from my own personal experience the fear that you feel is something that will take time to work through. Also I know that based upon your previous writings you are trying to deal with a lot of issues (i.e. family, friends, bible, personal feelings of uncertainty) this can cause a lot of anxiety. My best advice is to try not to focus in on all of these at once. You are still young and you have time to sort things out. Don't try to come up with an answer right away because it takes a lot of soul searching and time for personal reflection. Regardless of what your orientation may be you are a person that has many gifts and talents that others depend upon. Also know that you have many people who are here to support you on your journey.

On a side note. It can be difficult when trying to make sense of this especially when you are fearful of approaching your family. I know because I have not told my family yet either. For I know that my parents would go through the roof. That is why it is most important to talk to someone who you can trust. By coming to EC you took the first step :thumbsup: .

careandrespect.

[Psych!]

Hello, its me again (careandrespect). I think that from my own personal experience the fear that you feel is something that will take time to work through. Also I know that based upon your previous writings you are trying to deal with a lot of issues (i.e. family, friends, bible, personal feelings of uncertainty) this can cause a lot of anxiety. My best advice is to try not to focus in on all of these at once. You are still young and you have time to sort things out. Don't try to come up with an answer right away because it takes a lot of soul searching and time for personal reflection. Regardless of what your orientation may be you are a person that has many gifts and talents that others depend upon. Also know that you have many people who are here to support you on your journey.

On a side note. It can be difficult when trying to make sense of this especially when you are fearful of approaching your family. I know because I have not told my family yet either. For I know that my parents would go through the roof. That is why it is most important to talk to someone who you can trust. By coming to EC you took the first step :thumbsup: .

careandrespect.

thank you for the vote of confidence care and respect. and you are right, it is a lot to deal with and i've spent most of my summer in my room since I feel so uncomfortable and stressed out over everything.

[phoenix17]

Everything will eventually work out itself. However you said you were moving to ur uncle are your family such as mom and dad going to or are you going by urself. Because if u are going by urself maybe ur uncle isn't a homophobe and u could tell him and see if he could help.

aaron

[Psych!]

Everything will eventually work out itself. However you said you were moving to ur uncle are your family such as mom and dad going to or are you going by urself. Because if u are going by urself maybe ur uncle isn't a homophobe and u could tell him and see if he could help.

aaron

im going by myself, and i dunno if he's a homophobe but he kinda jokes about gay people so i'm not sure if he is one or if he's just kind of an a:***: , but he's still awesome

[phoenix17]

see its probably better that u r going by urself. My mom and brothers also joked about gay people but i told them they stopped it.

[Psych!]

see its probably better that u r going by urself. My mom and brothers also joked about gay people but i told them they stopped it.

yeah, going alone is part of why i wanted to go in the first place

[phoenix17]

well hopefully you will meet some neighbors ur age b4 school starts

[Psych!]

well hopefully you will meet some neighbors ur age b4 school starts

i honestly hope so. i grew up in the same neighborhood since i was born and no one is my age! everyone is old and crippled and i see house sitters and nurses coming and going at all times, its kinda boring here... and those kids that were about my age are now in college or married :confused: , so i'm kinda out of luck. when i visited my uncle's house i only saw the people from the house next door and they only had a little girl :eusa_doh: , so i really hope there's someone my age