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View Full Version : Uh, I guess I'm out?


cavillor
25th Aug 2007, 01:33 AM
About two and a half weeks ago I changed my Facebook "interested in" to "men." I also personally notified five or six people I know well, including my (ex, though it's still odd to think of her that way!) girlfriend. My relationship with her spurred my coming-out. It's not that a woman's nethers are disgusting to me, as I know they are to some guys; I rather like the smell, to be honest. But, it wasn't doing a thing for me in my nethers, and she kept wanting to do things to me instead of me just doing things to her. I held out hope for a while, but eventually I could no longer handle the pressure of not being able to fulfill her sexually. Plus, there was the matter of three and a half years of gay sexual fantasy and porn. :icon_bigg

She took it very hard, but I think is mostly okay with it at this point. I've met a few gay guys over Facebook, which has been quite cool, though I'm not romantically interested in any of them. I am now out to everyone but my family. It's not that they would disown me, but it would be awkward. I'll let them know in a year, when I leave for college. (I sure as hell am not living at home any longer than I have to. Independent living has been one of my deepest fantasies for about fifteen months now! -- Again, not because I don't like my family, but because I am ready to be on my own!)

Yet very little else has happened! I have received no PMs from people on Facebook w/regards to my orientation. A few days after coming out, someone did shout something about "heterosexuality" to me -- he was driving by in his car as I was running. It seems a bit too coincidental for him to have been reacting to my Facebook modification, though. Probably I just have a funny way of running. :lol:

Mostly uneventful. I am still pretending to be dating my ex for the sake of my grandmother and my step-grandfather, the latter of whom is conservative enough that coming out would be awkward to no end. And for the sake of the rest of my family ... I suppose I'll have to announce the relationship's end to them, and come up with some inane reason.

Jim1454
25th Aug 2007, 06:31 AM
Sounds to me like you've accepted this about yourself really well.

I wouldn't worry about coming up with some kind of inane reason for breaking up. People at your age break up all the time - I don't think it will be a big shock to anyone. And it's probably more fair to your ex that you don't pretent that you're together just to fool your family - she's hurting enough already.

You don't need to come 'out' just because you don't have a girlfriend - that's all.

Good luck.

Time
25th Aug 2007, 09:20 AM
Congratulations! It sounds like everything is going really well for you :)

TheMusicMan
26th Aug 2007, 01:27 AM
Good job on coming out. :) Interested that nobody seemed to notice your facebook change, or at least they didn't make a remark about it. That's a good sign that you probably have true friends. (In fact, the reason why I don't have a myspace or facebook myself is because I don't want to put "Straight" and lie, but I can't really put "Gay" either, because I'm not out to most people... and putting no answer leaves them the hint you're gay/lesbian anyway! Lol.)

Time
26th Aug 2007, 07:14 AM
I can't help but raise an eyebrow at those who leave the orientation field blank on sites like that, but they always deny it...

Kibuki kid
26th Aug 2007, 01:17 PM
YATTA! You seem to be very good at handling this i wish you all the best, and that Facebook thing is a great bonus

Sam
26th Aug 2007, 02:26 PM
thats really great that you have accepted yourself as well as you have congrats!

cavillor
26th Aug 2007, 08:26 PM
Very briefly I hated gay culture more than I hated anything else. I allowed stereotype to control me, on the eve of my coming-out, and for that reason delayed for a few days. But, as soon as I had come out, the feeling passed, and it's become obvious (through this board, for one) that there's a lot more to it than porn.

Thank God I don't have religious parents. I've never hated myself, or my sexuality. I went for a long time without labeling myself as straight or gay, but I'm embracing the "gay" label now! (Mainly because I want to find other gay guys ::grin::)