mom found out

[darthmalik14]

so last thursday, i was going to the library to work on my summer asignments, so she asks me if i want a ride and i say yeah. so we pass by this known to be gay guy and she starts bashing him and im getting all defensive and then she just asks me if i was gay. i shut up completely and she just gets all mad at me and starts crying saying that i ruined her life and that she is so disappointed in me and all. so that was thursday. we've been evading each other the whole week. so she called me into her room today and she was like, dont you care about me? like how could you do this to me? are you sleeping with your boss? (that one completely flipped me out)
but anyways she ends up saying that were going to see shrink to get this whole deal sorted out. i completely hate shrinks. the thing is that i really wasnt helping the situation at all cause she told me that she went through me computer and found some stuff. that just completely flipped me out cause i help pay the bills so that should give me at least some amount of privacy.
what im trying to get to here is that i become a completely cold, callous, and emontionless person when i get pissed off at that person. so ive been treating her like that, and i was just monotone to her all week long.
i really hate my life right now
any advice you guys?

[Time]

I am so sorry. She reacted horribly, and unfortunately parents are just like that sometimes I guess. All I can really tell you to do is talk to her about it and explain that this is just apart of who you are and that it isn't her fault, and it's not something you're doing to her. Hopefully you guys can work this out. Who knows? Maybe the 'shrink' will be understanding of the situation and see that your mom is in the wrong here. Hope it all works out for you :)

[beckyg]

Darthmalik14....your mother is acting unreasonably. You need to be the big person here and reach out to her. Talk to her. Tell her you know she's shocked and upset but you want to talk about this and help her to understand. Call PFLAG, get some information for her. She has just been made aware of something that she knows nothing about. Educate her.

[Vampyrecat]

Wow....
Your mum really reacted badly to that. I mean, honestly, I can see its been a huge shock for her, but its no reason to tell you that you "Ruined her life". I'm sure you're a fabulous gorgeous guy.
I think, like Becky said, you need to educate her, and try to calm down yourself. Sure your mum is being very unbalanced in her point of veiw, but you need to be the mature one in the situation and help her to understand that you're still the son you always have been, you're just more open now.

Hope this helps a little bit.
Lots of love.
la Vampyrecat.

[Micah]

Yes, your mum is acting unreasonably, but if she's offering to let you see a shrink, I'd take the opportunity. He'll equip you with the skills you need to stand up to your mother and communicate with her without loosing your cool. He'll also he a good source to vent to.

[Grof142007]

All i know is Being Cold to her isnt going to help. you must get over how she reacted and Be the bigger person

[Revealed]

I'm sorry to hear your mother reacted the way she did. I'm not sure what advice I can offer you, because I have yet to come out to my family. All I can say is that you are still her son. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that she now knows something new about you.

It's quite unreasonable for people to assume everyone's orientation is going to be straight. I hope this was just a shock reaction, & that she comes to terms with it soon. I would hate to think she believes seeing a shrink will push you towards a heterosexual lifestyle. Give her some time to accept it, & just let her know you are still you.

Good luck :)

[darthmalik14]

hey guys, thanks for all the advice and all
i guess im just going to see the school psych when school starts which is in 2 days

[Tom]

im sorry to hear about how ur mum reacted and under the circumstances tht u came out, all i can say is follow the advice above, be the better man, dnt argue back even tho its tempting and just wait, eventually she will accept it and things willgo back 2 normal, just no more jokes about when ur bringin ur girlfriend over lol, and the shrink will b able 2 help u morethn uimagined, they r trained 2 deal with ppl like urmum, no offence or anythin, but she hasgone a lil bit mad and the shrink will find ways 2 calm her down and be in a more accepting mood

[xequar]

Wow, I honestly never can understand when a parent reacts like that, and I'm so sorry... *hugs*

I think I agree with Dave here. If she's going to drag you to a shrink, take full advantage of the opportunity to gain some insight from an impartial source, a person to whom you can vent, and the like.

I hope everything gets better for you!

[Kibuki kid]

First off, as you know time will help but leaving everything as it is will just let the problem fester. Secondly you need to convince your mother to make the shrink see you both individually, then together so both of you can talk with a mediator and get this issue settled by getting everything out in the open. I'm so sorry that your mather reacted the way that she did and i hope things will get better because through thick and thin shes your mother and maternal instinct is more powerful than any other conviction she may have.....but you need to focus on fixing the problem at hand and use the shrink to your advantage. I hope this helped a little bit.

Best of luck, Kibuki Kid

[darthmalik14]

thanks you guys
its cooled down at lot since yesterday, she almost back to normal but i think shes just putting it in the back of her head so, im still going to try and find a shrink

thanks for all your support
regards Mateo

[LorenzG1950]

All i know is Being Cold to her isnt going to help. you must get over how she reacted and Be the bigger person

Grof has it totally right. Smother her with kindness and give her time to adjust. Sounds like she's starting to come around already. Good luck :thumbsup: .

[Kat22]

Hey there.
I am so sorry to hear your mother reacted the way that she did. Mine acted in a very similar, if not exact same manner when I told her. I agree with Becky. You need to try to reach out to her and help her understand your life more. My mom and I don't talk about anything of importance anymore, and she is HORRIBLE to my girlfriend whenever she sees her. I don't want to see these things happen to you, too. Sit down with her and let her know how much her asking "How could you have done this to her" really hurts you. Explain to her that you are not purposely DOING anything except trying to live your life honestly with her.

Good luck!
Kat