The word "gay"

[frizie]

Okay, so maybe I'm totally over reacting, but does anyone else feel this way? People throw around the word "gay" like people throw baseballs. They say things like, "Math is gay", referring to "Math is stupid/lame". I don't get it. So isn't that the same as someone calling a gay person stupid? Like, gay means stupid? I don't know if this really makes a whole lot of sense. I'm having a hard time trying to come up with the right words. I guess this isn't really much of a question, more of a rant. But honestly, I'm getting tired of it.

[ppreston9]

for some people it just a habit, or a word.
they have never known anything but straight.

[jules]

i know what you mean

i find it annoying but the people i know who say it do not mean it in a homophobic manner

luckily i havent heard it being used as much now..

people seem to be saying gash instead

[surfrboykai]

i don't think there's any harm in it. i'll sometimes say it. with any word, it's not the actual word, but it's the intent behind it. look at "nigga." it was once a really gnarly thing to say, and now, depending on what's meant behind it, it can mean "friend" or "dude."

i honestly think that we, as a society, are overly sensitive.

[bvtsjm116]

I hear it a lot. I think now its just a part of people's vocabulary :( Its like probably some "cool" word that people say now cause everyone else is. I don't know how it got started. I honestly don't mind it really though...

[Perrygay]

I don't like the word being thrown around either.

[SadConfusedBandGeek]

I'd rather it not be thrown around like that, but i dont thikn it means anything, a lot of my friends who are perfectly fine with me being bi, still call everything gay, even when i am around and i knwo they dont mean anything by it.

Like have you ever called something "retarted"
I say it sometimes and i dont mean to put handicapped people in a negative like, its just... accepted in society to use that word to mean stupid, even if you dont have anything against handicapped people..

But ya, i'd still rather it not be said like that lol.

[Ilayis]

I know people don't mean anything by it,but it does get on my nerves and sometimes I'll ask them to stop.

[amdmiami]

People throw it around all the time in my school. Its kind of upsetting but I don't let it get to me. One of my freinds is gay and he gets really offended by it so I usually tell peope to shut up when they start saying fag and gay around him

[CorporalPie]

I don't like it but it's just become such a common phrase that I doubt people will stop anytime soon, at least in high school; I just try and ignore it. Although I do realize that most people don't mean anything by it but its still irritating.

I do have to admit tho sometimes when I get really pissed about something it kinda slips out by accident, I usually kick myself for saying it tho when I do.

[Grof142007]

I just ask they why they have to use the particular Word

[Midnight Angel]

Yup people use it abundantly here too. Usually when something sucks, is boring, something someone doesnt want to do, etc.

[davo-man]

I don't really get annoyed by it, and a lot of my friends (who know about me) use it. I know there are lots of gay ppl out there who are offended by it, but I know that there is no malice behind it, so Im not really offendeds

[paul7836]

I dont like it being thrown around, and make that plain. (I usually play it off as "im supporting our gay friend")

So i have an idea on how to get back at people like that. Lets call everythign maddening Strait or hetero. Mwa hahahaha.

[pianoguy]

to be honest, i hate it when people say that
thats a huge pet peeve of mine
its like if i knew somebody who was really short, and i started say "oh thats really short"
to mean its stupid
its just not a good thing

[young92]

yea i know its annoying
but i've caught my self accidentally saying it a few times :/

[joeyconnick]

It is totally true that most people using it that way don't actually have a conscious homophobic intent behind the word, but I don't think that means it should get used the way it does, because if you are gay, and especially if you don't feel comfortable/out enough to speak out against it, I think it would just cut at you over and over again.

As for it not being able to be stopped, well that's fucking rubbish, because guess what? We don't call Jewish people "kikes" or black people "niggers" anymore... or if people do, they get treated like ignorant trash. So of course it could be stopped. It's just that people haven't been willing to make that attempt in any kind of mainstream effort.

And as for the reclamation of "nigger" (or "fag" for that matter), that's a whole different ball of wax. It's a totally different thing for a black person to call a friend "nigger"--it's a very self-conscious kind of thing. If some white supremacist uses it... I think you'd find most people would take it differently. Like I feel very comfortable calling my friends "fag" occasionally... but if some straight stranger did it, I would be incredibly affronted. Context is all.

[surfrboykai]

And as for the reclamation of "nigger" (or "fag" for that matter), that's a whole different ball of wax. It's a totally different thing for a black person to call a friend "nigger"--it's a very self-conscious kind of thing. If some white supremacist uses it... I think you'd find most people would take it differently. Like I feel very comfortable calling my friends "fag" occasionally... but if some straight stranger did it, I would be incredibly affronted. Context is all.

and i think it's stupid to have double standards. like i've said earlier in this topic, it should be the intent behind the word people look at. people are just too sensitive these days. and before you jump down my throat, joey, i'm simply stating my opinion.

[joeyconnick]

and i think it's stupid to have double standards. like i've said earlier in this topic, it should be the intent behind the word people look at. people are just too sensitive these days. and before you jump down my throat, joey, i'm simply stating my opinion.I know. I just don't agree that simply because someone is sensitive about something means they're being oversensitive. And I don't think that considering how a word used without malicious intent might still have a negative effect on someone is "having double standards." I think that's looking at intent and effect. For instance, I might say something without thinking to a friend without any intent to hurt them and still end up hurting them, so am I totally off the hook for that because my intent was non-malicious? Or should I maybe take some responsibility for having not thought about what I said?

Because to me that's pretty much what the "using 'gay' as 'stupid/lame'" situation is... no of course 90% of people using it aren't trying to put gay people down--but does that mean that the gay youth who ARE hurt by it should just get over themselves? Because as much as it might not be meant as an insult, I imagine that on a daily basis it can get a little tough to know you're gay and that "gay = stupid."

But obviously we disagree on this point.

[pianoguy]

I agree that people are too sensetive
I really do my family and I talk about things like this all the time
I think if it can be helped , it shouldn't be said like that
becuase really, it is subconciously connecting "gay" with "stupid"
its not a good thing to me
as for double standards

I think its ridiculous for black people to call each other "niggers' and get mad at white people when they do it, just like I think its stupid for gay people to call eachother "fags" and get mad when straight people say it
its hypocracy

intent is important, i realize
when people say "thats gay" they don't MEAN thats gay
they mean that its stupid , or whatever
which for that person I guess its not bad
but where do you draw the line?
besides... use of the words "gay" and "fag" in that context further promote minor homophobia
haha minor homophobia

[Kat22]

It was common to hear someone say something was "gay" if they were referring to something stupid when I was younger (pre-teen to early teen) age, but as I got older and into high school, it was used less frequently and those who did say it were the ones who sounded stupid. Now that I am in college, no one says it. I think it is an age thing that, if you just give it time, people will get over.

[surfrboykai]

someone is "having double standards." I think that's looking at intent and effect. For instance, I might say something without thinking to a friend without any intent to hurt them and still end up hurting them, so am I totally off the hook for that because my intent was non-malicious?

you raise a most excellent point there, as i've done that quite a few times. like this one time when me and my friend amanda were joking around, and we saw something that said "thick and kinky" and i said "kinda like you" with an innocent giggle. she got mad thinkin i called her fat. she has a slight weight issue, but i didn't intend to call her fat

[LorenzG1950]

I don't think people are too sensitive. Regardless of what people intend, the phrase is tossed out there for others to hear and emulate. That gives the wrong impression that it's ok to use gay as a negative in casual or any other conversation.

Why not find some other expression like "That is so Bush" :lol:

[Bromptonrocks]

Interesting thread!!

Over here in the UK, the word gay is used to describe anything that "sucks" (no pun intended). I don't think much thought is given by the user as to what they're actually saying. It could have been any other word but it just happens to be "gay".

I can understand why we sometimes get upset or touchy but in all honesty all the people that I know that use the word gay to slag something off aren't using it to get to us. My nephew knows I'm gay/bi and he uses the word a lot. Not once have I ever thought that he was trying to offend me by using the word. Nor any other person that uses it. And, I'm usually the very sensitive type!!

If you do get upset by its use and you're close (friendly) to those that continue to use the word, tell them. If they're really your mates, they'll stop using it. They may not know how you feel unless you tell them.

Hope this helps. :thumbsup: