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View Full Version : Coming out: difficult or not?


joeyconnick
20th Dec 2005, 10:48 AM
imad suggested we move a discussion from another thread to a new one, since the original one had gotten somewhat off-topic:


I just wanted to provide an alternative experience: I became much more talkative and outgoing after coming out and most of the gay people I know didn't become or stay terribly unhappy. Not to say coming out was necessarily something they'd want to go through again but it wasn't this huge angst-fest that I see it painted as over and over again. My only point is that there is wide range of coming out experiences and the awful, terrible, difficult ones tend to get the most press. And I think, ultimately, that's not a good thing because then it reinforces the idea that being gay is a terrible, difficult thing. And frankly, at least for me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And while it wasn't exactly easy, it was certainly worth the effort involved and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I think that most people do become more talkative and outgoing after coming out, also. I've just started actually coming out to people and (as I wrote before) that's been one of the biggest things which has helped me to be happier, more outgoing and such. I think coming out is great, but it's in that hiding period before you come out (perhaps after the questioning and realization period, or perhaps still questioning) where I hear over and over that the person's personality seems to change and they get reserved. Well, there's a simple explanation: in order to better hide your sexual orientation, it's easier to avoid conversations where sexuality plays a part (and it plays a part in many conversations of teens, even just as jokes).

I agree that most people probably become more talkative and outgoing after coming out; I was referring to the 'hiding', and possibly 'confused', stage. However, I disagree with saying that being gay is not difficult. It is difficult. However, I don't think it's "terrible".Well, I'll give you that the hiding part is pretty difficult but really, I don't think it always leads to personality changes like you're describing. If anything, I got involved in more conversations about sex and sexuality when I thought I was straight, to cover up what I was trying to deal with but I'm pretty sure overall my personality didn't alter radically.

And I'm not arguing that being gay is difficult for you or for a whole host of other people. But it's certainly not difficult for everyone, and certainly not to the "oh my gosh this is the most difficult thing about my life" level, which is how I think it gets portrayed a lot of the time. Sometimes it seems like people think being gay is the biggest challenge someone can ever face, which it really, really isn't. I think maybe it gets portrayed like that because the people we hear from the most about it are middle- to upper-class white guys and to a middle-class white guy, it's like "oh my god! I'm an oppressed minority now?" It's a huge loss of privilege if you happen to be in a group where there otherwise isn't much that's going to shake your worldview (and I say this, of course, as a middle-class white guy).

What I've been trying to get at all along is there are a host of different experiences of being gay (and coming out, and pre-coming out), some negative, some positive, some neutral. And there's a lot of relative-ness in a statement like "x is difficult." Sometimes just getting up in the morning is difficult. I take exception to this notion that being gay has to be difficult and is this kind of cross to bear for every gay person. I certainly don't wake up every morning and go, "Aw fuck, I'm still gay and therefore my life is going to be more of a struggle in x, y, and z ways."

Framing being gay as a difficulty just ultimately doesn't help you deal with it, mainly because it keeps it as something separate from who you are and really, it's about as unseparate as you can get.

Okay, maybe that's what I'm getting at: sure being gay can be difficult. As can being non-white in Canada or the US, or a woman, or poor, or overweight, or an immigrant, etc. But if you frame that part of yourself that results in whatever difficulty you face as an obstacle to be overcome--which I think is often what happens when people come out: they treat being gay as this thing that has happened to them or been inflicted upon them--then I think you're compartmentalising who you are in an artificial and unhealthy way. Being gay isn't something that happens to someone; it's something that someone just is. Homophobia and heterosexism are what happens to people, not being gay. It's certain people's reactions to what and how people are that's the problem, not how and what people are in and of themselves.

Maybe that seems like it's a silly distinction but I think it's really the crux of the matter.

imad
20th Dec 2005, 04:41 PM
The thing that had the greatest impact on my personality was coming out to myself. Until that time, it was as if I was just going through a phase, and everything would get better with time. I didn't really put much thought into the subject.

When I began to acknowledge my attraction to men as more than just a temporary taste, things began to change... I didn't want to talk to most of my friends, not because I was worried about them finding out, but because I had lost the will to do so. My guess is that this is because of the shock that came from the realization that I was gay. I also began to stay more in my room, and I began to lock my door. Eventually, my mother noticed, and repeatedly asked me why I was down. I just told her that everything was fine, and that it was ridiculous of her to think that I was sad.

This feeling began to gradually lift with the positive (or, in some cases, relatively positive) reactions that came from my friends. Though there are still traces of this feeling, but now I am more relaxed around friends, and I find it easier to talk to them.

So, for me, both of your descriptions apply. There was a period of time where I began acting differently, as xyc mentioned, until I came out to my close friends. I agree with joeyconnick in that being gay isn't the most difficult thing in life, and that the biggest problem is heterosexism.

BaciListClostridium
21st Dec 2005, 01:34 AM
Being gay isn't something that happens to someone; it's something that someone just is. Homophobia and heterosexism are what happens to people, not being gay. It's certain people's reactions to what and how people are that's the problem, not how and what people are in and of themselves.

Maybe that seems like it's a silly distinction but I think it's really the crux of the matter.

In a social world, can you really separate what something is from how people react to it? Can you discern the truth?

My hang-up lately has been that I lack any confidence whatsoever in knowledge. B/c, really... I mean, what the heck do we know? I watch people so convinced in the truth of something or other that they're just completely blinded to the possibility that they might be wrong. I've become so afraid of becoming someone who believes he knows something that I'm afraid to trust that I know anything. And it's a big problem when something in your heart goes against what most people say. It's a huge problem.

Antrioss
24th Jul 2008, 06:50 PM
I watch people so convinced in the truth of something or other that they're just completely blinded to the possibility that they might be wrong. I've become so afraid of becoming someone who believes he knows something that I'm afraid to trust that I know anything. And it's a big problem when something in your heart goes against what most people say. It's a huge problem.

The more interesting the myth, the more it's spread. People's ignorance only thrives on false statements that 'sound correct' because it makes sense. That's one of my no-no buttons that you REALLY don't want to push.:tantrum: