Awkward Conversations

[Perrygay]

Ok, just to start this off, I'm an openly Gay junior in high school. Almost everyone in school has heard that I'm gay, and for the most part being out has been great. I can be myself now and I've made a lot of friends who like me, for me.

But lately I've been having to deal with really awkward converstations in my science lab group, dealing mainly with questions about what I've done sexually. There's two girls and two guys in the group (including me), and one of the girls won't stop asking me questions about my sex life. She asks me all of these extremely private questions in front of the other group members and gets really pissed off at me when I refuse to answer her questions. It's not like she's even my friend; I wouldn't talk to her if she wasn't in my group.

And normally I would just tell her straight up that she needs to quit asking me questions about my sex life, but I don't want my other group members to feel like my sexuality is completely off limits. I feel like if I make it known that one part of my sexuality is off limits for group discussion, they'll think all of it is. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't mind if they asked me questions about boyfriends or who I think is cute and etc.

Help!

[Grof142007]

I had the Same Thing in School I just Answer Them Truthfully. Cause afterwhile it will get old

[Bryan]

Could you pull her aside privately and just tell her that you don't feel comfortable talking about your sex life with her, or in the group? Also, since I can be obnoxious, I would start asking her questions about her sex life, but you may not want to do that.

[Midnight Angel]

Hmm...maybe try asking them why they are so interested. Let them know that you won't deny them info but ask why they care so much. Be like do you lack a sex life? This is something new for you? Jealous? Something like that might counter them successfully without you feeling like you're denying them information.

[greyundrstndng]

id brag, but thats just me, lol! no, id follow bryan's advice and privately talk to her.

[sngl]

Yes, why is she so interested? Is it because she really cares and wants to know or is it just because she thinks being gay is silly and wants to have a good laugh and put you into an uncomfortable situation? :eusa_naug I'd say even if you're out to everyone, don't tell anything too personal to anyone until you don't know what their intentions are...don't deny information from the people you trust and try to deal with others by asking them questions like 'why would you like to know?' :icon_bigg

[joeyconnick]

Just say, the next time she asks, "Look, I don't mind if you guys want to ask me stuff about being gay but I'm not going to discuss the details of my sex life with you because I'm just not comfortable doing that."

That probably sounds familiar.

If you want to make yourself perfectly clear, you can look at her pointedly and modify the last part to be, "Because I would only talk about that kinda stuff with friends. Close ones. Which *you* are not one of." Where "*you*" is only in reference to the annoying one.

[gabriel1]

Typical nosy hetero person wanting the dirty details about how we do it and so they can go ewwwww. I would tell the group that you don't discuss your sex life with anyone and leave it at that.

[Bromptonrocks]

Depends how well you know them but I would question why do they want so much detail. After all, you don't ask them so they should really respect you not wanting to tell them. I would be tempted to say p:***: s off :dry:

[neverover]

said this to her: "shut the fuck up, bitch!" and make jokes bout her, like : "wait a minute, why r u keep asking these gay quest.? bcoz ur dad is gay? or ur bf? its not hard to bealive tho. who wouldnt turn gay for waiting u to shut the fuck up. oh, wait! u had a bf? wow, progress! thats great! no more popcorn at weekend. u dont hv to sing gimme more anymore to a bucket of ice cream!" she'll shut up:-)

[davo-man]

^She may also run off crying

I would just talk to her privately, like just pull her over in the hallway and say that you dont ask her all her sexual details, so you would prefer if she didnt ask you that much in depth questions

[Phantomblade]

said this to her: "shut the fuck up, bitch!" and make jokes bout her, like : "wait a minute, why r u keep asking these gay quest.? bcoz ur dad is gay? or ur bf? its not hard to bealive tho. who wouldnt turn gay for waiting u to shut the fuck up. oh, wait! u had a bf? wow, progress! thats great! no more popcorn at weekend. u dont hv to sing gimme more anymore to a bucket of ice cream!" she'll shut up:-)

I dont think that this is the best plan ever. for all you know she actually could be a lesbian. when i was closeted i used to ask questions like that to a gay kid i knew. I knew they where rude but i still asked them. i guess i was trying to compensate for my own homosexual feelings, but im not really sure.
but i agree that she needs to stop. and im not sure talking to her privaitly will work. she may just go to her friends and tell them the story and that would just make things worse.
what i suggest is next time she asks you a question like that just tell her "i dont ask questions about your sex life, so you dont need to ask me about mine."

[JayHew]

As stated above, in normal conversations, people don't discuss their sexual lives unless it might be with a very good friend of someone we are very close to. It is actually considered rude to do so. I would just point out to her that her sexual life is not discussed with detail, so it should be that yours is not open for it either, after all you are no different than any other human being except that your orientation is different, yet you have the same feelings as anyone else, just geared to the same sex.

[joeyconnick]

Actually, I wouldn't even say that she doesn't give details about her sexual life because that just opens it up for her to either say she would if she had details to give or, worse, to actually give details.

Just say YOU don't want to discuss the initimate details of your sex life. Most sane people will respect that and not be terribly impressed with anyone who doesn't.

[Perrygay]

Me and the annoying girl had some words today. Let's just say, she's gonna stop.

[SpikySpice]

Yeah I agree with some of you guys, this girl is imature since she has to know that it's not good to ask about someone's sex life in front of teh whole group, so just pull her aside, and tell her to quit asking such questions, if she cant zip her mouth, change to another group, complain with the teacher

[Perrygay]

complain with the teacher

I'm not a snitch.

I had a talk with her, she aggreed to stop.

[SpikySpice]

that's great, at least she has an off button

[neverover]

wow, thats great, what do u say to her?

[Grof142007]

Yeaya

[Perrygay]

Well, I just told her if she was going to keep asking me I was going to tell her boyfriend, who lives in my neighborhood, that she cheated on him last week.

She shut up pretty fast.

[ampthejazz]

Nice work. :D

[nanoman]

Well, I just told her if she was going to keep asking me I was going to tell her boyfriend, who lives in my neighborhood, that she cheated on him last week.

She shut up pretty fast.

oooooooo, blackmail. Was it really necessary though? And how did you know she was cheating if you don't talk to her much?

[Perrygay]

oooooooo, blackmail. Was it really necessary though? And how did you know she was cheating if you don't talk to her much?

I'm not sure if it was necessary, but I did it anyway.

I knew she was cheating on him because I saw her at the football game having sex with a guy in her car

[Phantomblade]

I'm not sure if it was necessary, but I did it anyway.

I knew she was cheating on him because I saw her at the football game having sex with a guy in her car

well thats akward... but if it works it works. altho i dont think it was really neccesary to blackmail her..... but you knew the situation better than i did...

[The Lone Duck]

Just say, the next time she asks, "Look, I don't mind if you guys want to ask me stuff about being gay but I'm not going to discuss the details of my sex life with you because I'm just not comfortable doing that."

This sounds like a good approach to me. She doesn't have any right to ask you such personal questions and the rest of your group probably recognizes that.