Still in the closet

[iellow]

Hi.
I was raised as a catholic girl..studied in a catholic school. I had the hunch that I am different from the normal girls because since I was a kid, i knew, I like girls, but tried my very best to hide it because I dont know will other will say about it.

When i got a job after graduation, I had a big crush on my girl officemate that later on become serious, that's my first relationship. She was the one who did the first move. She kissed :kiss: me inside the cinema and I was shocked.. but I know it felt good :icon_bigg . After that, we became the secret lovers in the office. I also got to know later on that she's a bi, bec she had also girl and boy relationship before.

People (ofcmates) around us were noticing that we're too close to each other and assumed that something was going on with us. THey have hunches and I know they talk behind our back about our secret relationship. I was able to confide about our relationship with one of our close friends/officemates also maybe becuase I need someone to talk to regarding it, especially which later on, it did not turn good because of some complications or betrayal (not on my part). My girl had a boyfriend when she migrated to Ausy. That ended my les relationship and only few close friends just knew it.

I want to tell it to my family, but I cant...I still dont have the courage to do it..maybe one day..I just dont know when.. coz I know or I dont know that I will disappoint them. :confused:

Now, I am here in NZ, still confused and people around me still encouraging me to find a man for me..little did they know..i am battling my feelings coz I know it will never happen..coz I do like girls.. I dont want to fool men, and especially fool myself...


..really tragic...

[TriBi]

Hey iellow :smilewave

Well, hopefully your story will have a happy ending given a little more time.

Meantime, there are a lot of really good people to get to know here at EC. :icon_bigg

[Louise]

My son came out to me recently. It was really hard for him, took a lot of gutz. I am soooo proud of him, love him to bits. It was such a couragous thing to do.

Effectively you risk to disappoint your parents. If I am honest yes, I was a bit disappointed but I love my son so much my dreams and image of him are nothing if they are based a lie.

I am honoured that he told me, honoured that he trusted me enough, honoured that he can accept himself for who and what he is without living a lie and wasting his life.

I would have been ten times more disappointed if he had hidden the truth from me, I would have felt that he didn't trust me, that he didn't think my love for him could overcome anything he might tell me.

Go and look at the sticky post for about parents reactions, it's really good. Apparently most parents get over the shock of the news with time. I am on the road to recovery... slowly but surely.

I won't give you any advice because my story is mine and every one is different, I just wanted you to hear a mother's point of view. I don't know your parents or your relationship with them but personally I would have been heartbroken to learn this news after everyone else... but that's just me.

Do what you have to do, live your life as best you can; you only get one life, don't waste it living a lie or hiding from the truth. Hope this helps a bit. (*hug*)

[Paul_UK]

Go and look at the sticky post for about parents reactions, it's really good.

It's here http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=930 :thumbsup:

[Zaurak]

Hell, I would encourage you to find a new atmosphere, if I were you I would most likely move to Australia, somewere around Melbourne or Sydney, or Cambera were its a mosstly open-minded society and live as you trully want to and be happy.

[iellow]

Thanks for your postings!