Should I come out? [Archive]

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bvtsjm116

28th Sep 2007, 11:20 PM

Midnight Angel

28th Sep 2007, 11:29 PM

omg it sounds like you have the perfect opportunity to do it! You should tell her! This is only my opinion of course.

ALieToDieFor

28th Sep 2007, 11:50 PM

Ok, ok, I know I asked this a little while ago but I still have not come out yet... well, I was talking to my mom the other night. she knows I am depressed and so she was asking me why and stuff and most of the stuff I say no to or that I don't wanna tell her. but then she started talking about my uncle who is gay... she said he got really depressed and felt like he wanted to die too... and then she said if my brother came home and said he liked guys she would love him the same... so........... I want to come out to her maybe but I don't know if I want to... I should... Its obvious she thinks that I might be...

But she always talks about me getting married and stuff and having a girlfriend so... I dunno... x_x

Also if I come out should I tell her about my crush? thats why I am depressed...

She knows.
DEfinetly tell her but on your terms not hers or mine.
:dry:
As for the crush i think it would be okay to tell her that as well.
When i first came out to my mom I didnt actually say the words " Im bi"
So as I was talking she thought I was telling her "Im gay"
What I told her is " Its not like I chose to be this way because I didnt."
My dad had yelled at me asking " why do you think your gay or bi ,or whatever? What makes you think that?" ( I should note I havent officailly come out to my dad)
I think everyone feels better for each time they come out to someone.
Everytime I have , I had great sleep =]
:sleep:

bvtsjm116

29th Sep 2007, 12:15 AM

She knows.
DEfinetly tell her but on your terms not hers or mine.
:dry:
As for the crush i think it would be okay to tell her that as well.
When i first came out to my mom I didnt actually say the words " Im bi"
So as I was talking she thought I was telling her "Im gay"
What I told her is " Its not like I chose to be this way because I didnt."
My dad had yelled at me asking " why do you think your gay or bi ,or whatever? What makes you think that?" ( I should note I havent officailly come out to my dad)
I think everyone feels better for each time they come out to someone.
Everytime I have , I had great sleep =]
:sleep:

I'm just a little worried I dunno why I don't want her to know, I know I should tell her but I don't know why I just don't want ANYONE to know... I dunno if I'd feel better or not... I'm so confused...

I still am not sure if she knows cause she always asks about other things. Maybe she doesn't want to make it obvious... I dunno >< But then I have to wait for her to bring it up and then I always chicken out...

Ilayis

29th Sep 2007, 01:47 AM

If she would be cool if your brother said he was gay,then I'm sure she's letting you know that she would love you just the same.It also sounds like she is beating around the bush to me,thats just what i think.

JSG

29th Sep 2007, 04:41 AM

I think she wants to tell her so that she can finally know for sure that your gay.
When she told you about your uncle and brother, the obvious straight reaction would be "no way, I'm not gay !!" and thats not what you said.

I think coming out to her would be a good idea, for both of you.

beckyg

29th Sep 2007, 06:48 AM

I agree with JSG. Your mother is dropping big hints that she knows. She'll be fine with it and once you have someone you can talk to in your own family, it will be easier to come out to other people on down the road.

gilca

29th Sep 2007, 11:09 AM

I'm just a little worried I dunno why I don't want her to know, I know I should tell her but I don't know why I just don't want ANYONE to know... I dunno if I'd feel better or not... I'm so confused...

I still am not sure if she knows cause she always asks about other things. Maybe she doesn't want to make it obvious... I dunno >< But then I have to wait for her to bring it up and then I always chicken out...

well maibe you feel like might disapoint her at least thats how i feel with my mom i know i loves me and she would accept me but its weird. But if she is telling u stuff like that , and it is ovious that she knows, u should go for it you will feel so relieved after telling her:)

Phantomblade

29th Sep 2007, 04:45 PM

i definitly think she knows and i think you should tell her becouse it definitly does feel great to have told someone.

Bryan

29th Sep 2007, 07:16 PM

Not only does she know, but she is dropping hints. If you feel ready to talk to her about it, you should most def tell her, she will be accepting and you also said, "But she always talks about me getting married and stuff and having a girlfriend so... I dunno... x_x". She said that she was ok with homosexuality, she might just be acting this way, so you dont feel pressured to come out on your own terms as opposed to hers. You can also tell her about the crush, but maybe wait a few days between coming out and telling her, so it doesn't seem overwhelming, even though she knows, it will be a change. Anyway, good luck :icon_bigg

SpikySpice

29th Sep 2007, 07:29 PM

Well, your mom said if your brother is gay, she still loves him and he still be her son , taht means she is ok with that, it dosnet matter who you are, she still love you, because you are her son

So give yourself some courage an dtell her

I'm just a little worried I dunno why I don't want her to know, I know I should tell her but I don't know why I just don't want ANYONE to know... I dunno if I'd feel better or not... I'm so confused...

I think vecause you dont feel comfortable being gay, or you couldnt accept yourself? Becasue lots of people wish that they want others to know but just afraid to come out to them

If you dont want to tell anyone, then you dont have to, coming out is not something you must do, but you should give yourself time if you need

greg

1st Oct 2007, 03:08 AM

Tell her, form those words "I am gay" the first time you say them is the hardest thing to do, then it gets easier every time, then eventually you'll be yelling it and people telling you to shut up because they will say "we dont care" tell her you will feel like a great weight has been lifted from you, you will feel liberated and its the best feeling, i say go for it. greg

Louise

1st Oct 2007, 03:54 AM

I think you should try to understand why you don't want to tell her, you can see that she will love you whatever you have to tell her so that is not an issue.

What are YOUR fears? Once you have put a name to them you will be able to face them and put them into perspective.

Your mum sounds like a really lovely lady who is suffering to see you suffer and not be able to help. She has all but told you that this is fine with her so stop worrying about your mum, worry about you.

Accept yourself for who you are, love yourself. Find all your qualities that you like about yourself, what people have said to you about yourself and build up your self image. You know that your mum adores you... that's already a starter.

When you feel good about yourself and when YOU feel ready tell your mum, I think she will be very supportive and that will be a weight off your shoulders not having to carry around this big secret all by yourself.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. :kiss:

Bromptonrocks

1st Oct 2007, 08:18 AM

Hi again, :thumbsup:

There you have it. Everybody's saying she knows. It's what we all said the last time you posted the same question. I think telling your mum won't be as hard as you think because of her already knowing. What you've got to sort out is accepting it for yourself. Perhaps if you tell your mum she may be able to help you decide which way you're going. You're not in an unusual position - God knows how many people still can't work it out... and I'm not just talking about teens. Some adults still haven't worked it out. So don't be hard on yourself. Don't rush as you have all the time you need.

See you....:smilewave