Oh... no. Not the best way to come out..

[Vates]

I think I may have just come out in the worst way possible.

I'm pretty sure that this happens very often, maybe. But it's still a pretty crap way to come out.

BACKGROUND: I am currently 'struggling' with an 'Eating Disorder (Anorexia)'. (I use the terms in ' ' because I really don't believe in it.) Currently, I'm 5ft 1.5 and am weighing around 81/83 lbs, not like that really matters, but I weigh enough to where my parents are constantly giving me grief about it. They are driving me crazy.

So I had a bit of a stand up fight with my father that went along the lines of:

Me: 'There are SO many things that you don't know about me'
Him: 'Like what?'
Me: 'As if I'm going to tell you'
Him: 'Well why not?'
Me: 'Because I don't want to,'
Him: 'What's wrong with you? Are you a Lesbian?'

Yeah. So he sat me down and gave me a good ol' lecture on what it means to be gay.

Thanks Dad, like I needed to be told things that I already know. :rolleyes:

And now I just feel awkward, ashamed, embarrassed, stupid and really hate myself for even letting myself get into that trap - it hurts! I was supposed to sit them down, make them coffee and then confide in a deep earthly tone to where they felt nothing but the utmost respect for their daughter and her preferences. Not just let it all out in an anger filled screaming row with him/them.

My Mother hasn't spoken to me. She wants me to move out; even offered to buy me every singly thing on my 'Moving out wishlist' (including a washing machine and microwave) so long as I was gone before November. If I was stupid, I'd say that she was being kind. I'm smart(er) and I know that she's being better about it (compared to some people's experiences), but not being kind at all.

- On the positive side, I've done the figures and can move out in 3 weeks... probably two weeks if I get my butt into gear (and if work plays nice and gives me shifts!)

I still need to come out to:

* My friends from school.
and * My evil sister.

Hopefully I'll do a bit better with these ones.

What a crap coming out! :icon_sad:

[davo-man]

Hey Coral, that's a bit of a bugger, I really hope you can reconcile with your parents...Moving out's gunna be hard, so i wish you all the best with that, and if you ever need any help dealing with the stress of that you know you can come on here and talk it over

Good luck for coming out to your friends from school and your sis, hope they take it better....but look at this way (in the most naive way possible) at least you get a free washing machine and microwave (try to get them to buy you a house as well hehe)...anyway, good luck with all that, Im sure you'll get through, cos you seem like a pretty strong, confident woman.

[Revealed]

I'm sorry to hear that your parents reaction was so awful. I find it hard to understand how any parent could throw out their own child purely because of their sexual preference. I mean, fair enough if you were a murderer, etc, then that's an acceptable reason....but you aren't.....are you??? :eusa_shif

You shouldn't feel ashamed or stupid for coming out the way you did. It wasn't fair of your father to throw in that comment during your argument because you are all bound to say things without thinking. But if I were in your shoes in that situation, I would've done exactly the same as you and said yes. It's just extremely unfair for them to respond in this manner and act like you don't belong there.

Oh, and I would take up your mum's offer to buy the things on your moving out list. It's hard enough to be expected to have funds to move out in 3 weeks, so although you may not want to, it will help. Having to buy those things when you first move out gets quite costly.

Best of luck with dealing with your parents until then. And I hope all goes well coming out to your friends. Make sure it's done the way YOU want to...& not having it FORCED out of you. :goodluck:

[Louise]

My heart goes out to you. How sad that your parents should react in such an angry way. Even though this is a ghastly way to react, I think you should accept your mum's offer, don't leave your family home and slam the door behind you.

You parent's may come round given time. Yeah I know,*shrugs* but you have to be optimistic!

You have nothing to feel ashamed, embarassed or stupid about. No this is probably not what you intended or would have liked it to be but it takes two to argue and it was unkind of your dad to throw what he thought would be an insult at you like that.

From the sounds of it your *evil sister* is maybe not the best person to come out to straight away. Try to find someone you can trust in your close family or friends to tell them firstly that you are lesbian and also what you are going through. This is too much to carry all on your own. You need to find some support, of course we are all here but I know it is not the same as chatting with a close friend face to face.(&&&)