why is lesbian population < gay population?

[neverover]

im just curious. female population in the world is larger than males. but as far as i can see, lesbians is fewer than gays. how come?

[Miaplacidus]

Probably because many lesbians stay closeted for the rest of their lives. You see, it's easier for a woman who doesn't like men to have sex with them, than for a man who doesn't like women to do the same (as women don't have to get erections). I've always thought that it's quite odd that many women refuse to have sex with their husbands. Some of them might not have sexually skilled husbands... but I think that some of them are lesbians.

I don't know, though.

[nanoman]

lol! I was actually thinking about posting that same question! I notice that too, especially on the boards. I really dunno why.

[surfrboykai]

i don't agree with that. most chicks are bi, so that counts for something, yah?

[Level N Human]

Most chicks are bi? When did this fortunate thing happen? :)

[davo-man]

Im not sure that more women are bi, but I think its much more socially acceptable for women to experiment with their sexuality than it is with guys. For instance, women can kiss other women when they are drunk and nothing much more is said, but if a guy does that, then he is permanently labeled as gay

[gabriel1]

my two cents? I think it appears there are less simply because society is more accepting and used to seeing women living together with no stigma attached.

[CelebrityHead]

Im not sure that more women are bi, but I think its much more socially acceptable for women to experiment with their sexuality than it is with guys. For instance, women can kiss other women when they are drunk and nothing much more is said, but if a guy does that, then he is permanently labeled as gay

How much better would it be if it were the same for us guys? Like more socially acceptable for us to kiss each other even if we were straight. Then even closeted guys could experiment without having to be labelled or anything...
Ahh the possibilities... :rolleyes:

[TeeBe]

Most chicks are bi? When did this fortunate thing happen? :)

Agreed! Find me one, will ya??

On the other hand, I do agree with the fact that women are naturally more communal, and the striaght male population would never label two "really comforable" females (ie. those that they can coherse in to making out in front of them) as lesbian, because if that was the punishment, women just wouldn't do it.

[Ty]

Women have that maternal thingy? They know if their gonna be true to their feelings then the chances of them mothering children is very slim....just my thoughts

[Paul_UK]

This is just my theory..... It is not based on anything other than my ideas, and contains lots of stereotypes.

When a straight relationship breaks down because one of the partners is having an affair, it is most often the man that is playing away form home rather than the woman. For the man, sex on the side is just sex, and can be quite separate to love. Women tend to link love and sex more, and feel betrayed if their partner is sleeping with someone else.

This tends to suggest to me that women, whether straight or lesbian, are more likely to be looking for love and a long-term relationship. So once a lesbian couple meet, fall in love and are living together they will have less need or desire to meet other gay or lesbian people. In particular the pub/club scene tends to be more male orientated. So they tend to disappear off the radar and not be counted as part of the gay/lesbian population.

Some gay men are looking for sex rather than love. Or maybe love too, but sex will do for now. We are more likely to have sex with others while in a relationship, and because we regard sex and love as two different things, this can be less of an issue. So gay men are more likely to go out and socialise with other gay men in more public places such as pubs and clubs, even if they are in a relationship.

Having said all that though, it is interesting to note that there ate many more guys than girls here on EC. So where are all the gay girls?

As I understand it, guys reach their sexual peak in their late teens, so this could be when guys realise that their sexual urges are towards other guys and not towards girls.

Women I believe reach their sexual peak in their 30s. By this time they are more likely to be married with kids, and even though they may realise that they attracted to other women more than their husband, they may think it is too late to do much about it.

One lady I knew several years ago (in fact at former girlfriend briefly when I was trying to convince myself I was straight) came out to me some time after I came out to her. What was interesting was that she had never considered herself to be a lesbian at all. It wasn't until she met another lady at work and it all came together that she realised. She was in her mid 20s then, so hadn't reached her sexual peak. I don't know how common that is, but it could suggest that some lesbians never fully realise that is what they are?

OK, so that was lots of fairly inconsistent waffle that proves nothing! It's just some ideas which may or may not be of relevance......

[Jerr]

I know more lesbians then I do homogay boys.


Most chicks are bi? When did this fortunate thing happen? :)

When being gay became a sort of fad... girls all of a sudden were bi... because they were willing to kiss another girl... (Now... in the south boys really didn't do that... but the girls did!)

[Tom]

from statistics ive seen there are actually more lesbians than gay guys, but as paul said guys are the ones tht are lookin for other guys than women do so u notice them more. and i have always wundered y this is a prodominantly male community, there r few females wich is weird

[Psych!]

Women I believe reach their sexual peak in their 30s.

Well, that sucks for the heteros XD.

Anyways, I have always wondered why the lesbian population always appears to be so low, compared to the gay population for that matter.

I think it might be because since women are already a point of "attack" when they flaunt their sexual lives (including orientation), they are marked as "whores" and "sluts", so there is really no need to exhibit sexual orientation to draw more attention or any judging. And as Paul said, men are more attracted to the sex life, so that's probably why so many gay men out themselves (compared to women), to find a sexual partner.

[pirateninja]

So where are all the gay girls?

Woohoo! Me!

To be truthful, I do think the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend is by sticking a sign above my head saying:

"I am a lesbian, seeking another lesbian. Come here please"

I do feel a bit like a minority within a minority sometimes:grin:

[Psych!]

I do feel a bit like a minority within a minority sometimes:grin:

:lol:

Don't we all.
But yeah, even though the lez population is big, they are barely noticeable.
Gay guys are more attention whores.

:roflmao:

That sounds so wrong.

[tinkerbell]

Woohoo! Me!

To be truthful, I do think the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend is by sticking a sign above my head saying:

"I am a lesbian, seeking another lesbian. Come here please"

I do feel a bit like a minority within a minority sometimes:grin:

Exactly. I go to a very, very white school and know few lesbians. Makes the dating market very slim and me, very lonely. I think my sign will have carnations drawn onto it.

[TeeBe]

Outside of this happy, virtual universe, I only know one other non-straight female. I know several gay guys. Personally, I accept that there are statistically fewer non-straight females, but I also think we are less visable. The gay male stereotype is easy; outside of the whore/pornstar stereotype, how would you even recognise a lesbian/bi woman? We are more communal anyways.

I gave up on the sign on the forehead thing, people kept giving me weird looks :grin: I stick with my lambda necklace instead.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

well i knew 3 bi girls before i went to the hospital. when i went i met 2 more bi girls and and 5 lesbians. as for guys i only know 1 gay guy (a friend of my moms). i think that the reason it seems like there is less lesbians is because many girls are just experamenting. thats why i prefer to just date lesbians. i don't like double the competition and the fact that they might just think they are bi but really are just straight later. i'm not saying girls my age can't be bi but i prefer them to like only girls like me.
but there is bisexuals in both guys and girls.
when it comes down to there being more lesbians and they gay guys i think there is the same. just different area have more or less of each. and coming out is both different for each gender.

[Level N Human]

I think when a girl is boyish we tend to call her a tomboy; when a boy is girlish he's seen as gay. I think it's easier for girls to stay closeted as we can hold hands and appear very close without it seeming out of the ordinary.

I basically agree with everyone else. Lesbians are just less visible in societal context.

[Monique_Massacre]

it is easy for a girl to hide it there for she never really has to come out

[CrimsonThunder]

I know a hell of a lot of lesbians and bi girls IRL. More than gay males.

[BlueRose]

At my school, there are a bunch more lesbians than gays; at least, there are more that are open about it. I remember in 10th grade a classmate of mine came into the class almost throwing up because she saw some girls kissing in the hallway. Actually, for that whole year, the science wing was referred to as the lesbian hall. They seem to have moved on since then, but still, there is at least a visible population of lesbians at my school; whereas I can count on one hand the number of gay guys I know. And that is with a very loose definition of "know".

[Fantasmasy]

To be truthful, I do think the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend is by sticking a sign above my head saying:

"I am a lesbian, seeking another lesbian. Come here please"

I do feel a bit like a minority within a minority sometimes:grin:
Ahaha! I know what you mean!
It doesn't help that all of the cute girls at my school are either straight or already have girlfriends.

I think I'll write my sign in rainbow letters!
With little bunny rabbits all over. :P

[beckyg]

The lesbians in my community have a very visible presence. They are always planning some get together: game night, movie night, dancing, parties, ect. The guys had a once a month dinner night but now that has disbanned because the people who had been organizing all these years are tired and don't want to do it anymore.

Somebody mentioned the maternal instinct and I think that may have alot to do with wanting to get married and have a family. We girls can fake it easier too. So I do think that alot of lesbian women don't really come out until after they have had children.

[Hidden Angel]

So where are all the gay girls?

Woohoo! Me!

To be truthful, I do think the only way I'll ever get a girlfriend is by sticking a sign above my head saying:

"I am a lesbian, seeking another lesbian. Come here please"

I do feel a bit like a minority within a minority sometimes:grin:
Hell yeah I agree with that one, but then again I don't think I'm quite ready for a girlfriend but can understand what your saying.

[Hidden Angel]

For what it's worth I agree that there seem to be more gay guys then lesbians because more women choose to stay in the closet. The reason behind this is that I think that gay guys are becoming more acceptable in todays society where as lesbians are not. There are movies such as Broke Back Mountain that are about gay guys and some tv shows like Coronation Street even have gays guys on them but how many shows or movies are there that have lesbians on them or are about lesbians that almost absolutely everyone knows about whether they are straight or gay?

[Fantasmasy]

For what it's worth I agree that there seem to be more gay guys then lesbians because more women choose to stay in the closet. The reason behind this is that I think that gay guys are becoming more acceptable in todays society where as lesbians are not. There are movies such as Broke Back Mountain that are about gay guys and some tv shows like Coronation Street even have gays guys on them but how many shows or movies are there that have lesbians on them or are about lesbians that almost absolutely everyone knows about whether they are straight or gay?

Agreed.
It seems like gay guys have a lot more exposure in society.
For example, in the media, there're a lot of mainstream movies with gay guys, but hardly any with lesbians. As far as depiction of lesbians, it seems that girls kissing each other is just something we do to turn straight guys on.
And in studies about the cause of people being queer, it's usually focused on gay guys.
One study posted on AOL straight out said "There is less research on lesbians, Sanders said, although some studies suggest that male and female sexual orientation may have different genetic influences."

Which isn't to say that it's all flowers and sunshine for gay guys, obviously.
I'm just saying that it's not as prevelant a topic in today's society.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

mmm i have noticed that there seems to be more of a gay guy cultural presence than gay girl. in the past, lesbianism was often never even mentioned - it was regarded as impossible or inconceivable by most people. whereas gay men have always had a presence, pretty much, albeit an stigmatised and discriminated against presence. i think this is linked to the historical oppression of women in general - why would a lesbian woman explore her feelings or out herself when she was already at a social disadvantage? this has obviously changed somewhat now but i think it is still true that gay guys come out more than gay girls..?

also, i think, as other poeple have said, because society has a phobia of femininity in men, as well as homophobia, if men exhibit any "feminine traits" they are ofen discriminated against (often by being called gay). this also means that it is very hard for feminine men to express themselves without either being gay or being ridiculed. whereas a masculine woman can more socially acceptably be masculine without being lesbian. so, what i'm saying is, there's more at stake for feminine gay men: if they don't come out, they not only have to pretend to be straight, they also have to keep up the masculine demeanor they are uncomfortable with. butch women can stay in the closet without compromising so much of themselves. but this does not explain masculine gay guys or feminine lesbians...

i am inclined to think it may be linked the continuing overall idea that women aren't, or shouldn't be, so interested in sex. so women are encouraged to flaunt it less. also, they may feel marginalised if the gay community already seems too guy-centric: for example, this topic was headed as a contrast between "lesbians and gays" - umm, lesbians are gays too, n'est pas?? when people use gay to refer just to gay men, it makes me feel a bit left out in the rain. maybe that's just me, but that's why i always say "gay guy" if that's what i mean.... (don't even get started on calling groups of women guys!!! lol)

[BlasttheCloset]

Well, this seems not to have been anyone else's experience, but at my school at least, lesbian and bisexual girls experience far more discrimination and social difficulties than gay guys, and the other people in the GSA agree. There are five other girls in there that are out only to us, or only to us and their families, because they are afraid of the social repurcussion that they would face coming out. All of the gay guys are out, and that is just seen as a facet of their personality. But gay girls, woooo so scary:bang: . It kind of bugs me, and is a big part of why it took me so long to admit that I am bi.