Still kicking....

[BenRules05]

My coming out story isn't really that complicated, and it wasn't really that hard. I was at a party and a rumor had been circulating that because I hung out with the "token" gay kids at our school, that I too must be gay. So my friend cornered me in the bathroom and said... "Ben, it's so wrong of them to say that about you..... " and I was like "yea, it sucks..." and he was like "but are you??"
My first reaction was to say "oh, so you're a prick too?" But I looked at him, and he was just sincere, he geniunely wanted to know. I have no idea why I chose to tell him, he had no redeeming qualities, he wasn't a very good person, and to this day I really don't like him, but I just thought to myself... "why let people bring you down anymore Ben.... just tell him.... just tell everyone and you'll stop killing yourself over it."
So I stood there in that bathroom and I simply looked at him and said "yea.... yea I am." He simply responded with "Well, that's cool."
I opened the door to the bathroom and walked out... and from that moment on I just didn't give a shit anymore... within the week everyone knew.
I found that instead of letting people say things behind my back, I would just put it out there. So the next time someone said something degrading to me, I could just simply look them in the eye, confirm that I was, and reassure them that I'm a better person than they could ever hope to be.
I suppose owning it really does count.... it sure as hell makes me feel better about it. I'll never be the society definition of normal, but I sure as hell can be glad that I am who I am. So if you're contemplating telling people, don't think aobut what it will do for them, or what they will think. Think of how free you'll be....
It feels a hell of a lot better than keeping it in.

[Micah]

Wow that's completely awesome. I really admire your philosophy on the whole situation. It really does depend on "owning it" as you put it.

I know two guys who came out at my school at roughly the same time. One boy (James) took the same stance as you, the other (luke) was not quite so confident. Everytime something was said to James, he would either defend himself of ignore it completely. Before too long people just didn't make comments about him, because it simply didn't upset him.
Luke on the otherhand, took the comments to heart - and it showed. This pretty much encouraged abuse from the other kids until it was just too much for him, and he left the school.

For the most part, coming out really is about being proud and not letting anyone make you think otherwise.

[Proud1p4]

... "why let people bring you down anymore Ben.... just tell him.... just tell everyone and you'll stop killing yourself over it."

YOUR MY NEW HERO:eek: ...truer words have never been spoken:icon_bigg

... I found that instead of letting people say things behind my back, I would just put it out there. So the next time someone said something degrading to me, I could just simply look them in the eye, confirm that I was, and reassure them that I'm a better person than they could ever hope to be.
I suppose owning it really does count.... it sure as hell makes me feel better about it. I'll never be the society definition of normal, but I sure as hell can be glad that I am who I am. So if you're contemplating telling people, don't think aobut what it will do for them, or what they will think. Think of how free you'll be....
It feels a hell of a lot better than keeping it in.

I FUCKING LOVE THAT...god we have a motivational speaker here ladies and gents:p ...honestly i feel the same way...a school-level come out is scheduled for around Yule next year...the only reason why it's next year is because i'm up to my eyeballs in school work and can't handle trying to balance that big of an event...i want it to be a little more...special...for some reason, i dont know why it just feels better to give it a little more effort and planning than just "i'm gay ok? did anyone hear that?!"...and i know someone's going to say 'thats no excuse' but w/e

[TriBi]

I suppose owning it really does count.... it sure as hell makes me feel better about it. I'll never be the society definition of normal, but I sure as hell can be glad that I am who I am.

A lot of sense in that comment.:D

It DOES take a lot of confidence to pull that off tho' - and not everyone could do it. But if you accept who you are and are "happy in your own skin" - then, yes, it really is saying to people "I am what I am and if you can't handle that, it's your problem, not mine" - and just being like that could put the pressure on them and take it off you.

[tired_of_lying411]

WOW! i envy you so bad!
the truth is, I'm really self-conscious. I care way too much about what people think. Especially about this. I've spent the last few years denying it and now it's just my natural instinct.

[tired_of_lying411]

when I say denying it in my above post, I mean denying it to other people, so when they ask, I say no :biggrin:

...that was DELAYED :D
just didnt want people to think something different