The Next Step

[domus]

So I'm pretty sure that this guy is gay and equally sure that he likes me. What is the next step in terms of flirtation(which I thoroughly suck at) and actual casual conversation? And what are the signs that you should keep going forward?

Here are the reasons I think he is gay and interested. Please feel free to shoot them down as you see fit because I'd rather not make us both uncomfortable.
- He always looks at me when we are passing or in the same general space.
- We've shared at maximum, 100 words directly with each other but yet he has more physical contact with me than some of my close friends. We may be walking in a hallway and he'll go out of his way to NOT give me enough room so we end up bumping into each other. One incident involved me sitting on a lab stool planted dead center in the aisle and instead of saying excuse me or not passing me at all, he sorta grabs my shoulders and completely grinds his crotch across my back. I'm kinda spacy and so all of a sudden I felt this soft (now turning kinda hard) thing on my back. It felt like forever but I wasn't complaining. Then on a return trip back, he sees me coming then smiles and pushes his entire body as far as he could across the aisle. I was so confused with what to do. I literally stood there for a good four seconds stuttering and making jerky movements. I gave somewhat into my fears and just squeezed by him with as little contact as possible.
- He blushes and smiles when I check him out. Another time I was so absorbed in him (just looking him from head to toe) and when I finally realized what was happening, he was just staring at me with shifty eyes and his entire face just blossomed red.
- He smiles when he just hears me talking.
- He says my name in a sort of "dreamy" voice. Someone might say something about me or I might say something funny and everyone laughs and he's the one guy saying my name to himself.
- He's super helpful and super concerned. He also tries to keep the conversation going. I asked a simple question about time and then he told me and under my breath I said damn. He then leans forward and looks at me so caringly and asks what the problem was. My heart started racing seeing him like that and so I just said nothing and all of a sudden it felt so melodramatic and we both started laughing.
- He finds a way to sit next to me. One day he was feeling really brave and sat behind me to my left. He then started to play with my chair with his feet. I really didn't know what to do so I just ignored it.
-His friends seem to know me. They'd be in their group looking through the wave of students and then a majority of them would focus down on me. Most likely it's because I'm probably staring at them but sometimes I'm minding my own business and I see this.
- Maybe the oddest one of all. He doesn't mind my bodily fluids. One time my friend was helping me put something on then he comes out of nowhere and pretty much rams his fist into my mouth (by accident because I was talking and looking down). He didn't apologize but he helped fix me up and he didn't do that "eww-wipe hand" recoil action.

Today he had his knees on a bench and his upper body on the table (sorta like doggie style) and I got surprisingly horny. Anywho, I was trying my hardest NOT to look before he thought that all I wanted was his body. I couldn't resist and had to look (using the excuse that he was talking) and then we had that double-back eye contact while he was answering some girls question. Also earlier (on that same chair he was being sexy on), he was on his knees pivoting the chair and the swings got progressively longer and eventually just favored the direction I was in. I'm worried that looking away just makes me look straight or uninterested. However, I don't want to freak him out if he's straight or risk being ridiculed. We still have that air of not friends because we never talk directly and never hang out. If any of our friends saw us talking, to them it would be the equivalent of me talking to a random senior. I feel that when we're together, we both start getting irritated that we can't be more social with each other.

[boy0boy]

Wow you got a lot of evidence here. Unfortunately since it's from your perspective it can be a little hard to tell if it's just your crush making you more alert to meaningless things.

The amount of signs and from what you've said do lean way more to the fact that he has an interest in you. Try just talking more, you said you guys aren't really friends yet and this seems like the stage when you start making a friend. Just talk to him more often and try to 'hang out' sometime. I'm sure things will progress more if he has feelings for you and you can tell better once you get to know him.

Good luck! :D

[beckyg]

Sounds like a definite physical/sexual attraction to me. I'd just find a way to get to know him better and try not to jump into his passionate arms right away. :icon_bigg

[lodiug]

Wow! I wouldn't doubt that he likes you. Just like what boy0boy said. Try to talk to him and eventually hang out together.

[sdc91]

Just start off with simple conversation and find out each other's interests. It sounds like he's gay to me.

[Alexander]

I don't think he could possibly be gay. I mean, he thinks you're a god, tries to be around you, avoids talking to you, blushes when you look at him, and tries for physical contact. How do you even think he's gay?

:P

All I can say is go for it.

[domus]

Thanks guys! Well I will definently be trying to strike up a conversation now and say 'hi' in the halls. It shouldn't take much (I hope) because he's much more creative than I. But really thanks guys, it felt good putting my relatively minor problem out here on the forum.

[ccdd]

It sounds like he could well be gay and could like you. Although obviously you've got to try and view the evidence outside of what you want to see. The thing I'd ask this (and sorry if you actually say this in your post), is whether you think he's out or not, even to himself. Because I have flirted with girls and checked them out etc but *without* thinking I'm gay, but instead thinking something along the lines of "It would be really cool if I was gay because I'm really attracted to this person and then I could go out with them"(!!!). Basically, what I mean is, is that I know from my own personal experience, my own way of acting, that I can flirt with a woman and act as though I'm attracted to them *without even admitting what I'm doing or that I'm gay*. Does this make sense? It may not apply in your case at all. But if he is gay and interested in you, it would make the next stage difficult if they don't yet realise/accept they're gay.

[domus]

He's not out officially. But all his friends are always talking about it on facebook. He had a really long series of comments from one of his closest friends who was sick of him "pretending he's straight" (also he left the orientation slot blank while filling everything out). Among his friends it seems to be an accepted thing that they ocassionally joke about. My "out status" would parallel his where your closest friends pretty much know while the average person is oblivious. Except, in my case, no one spams my wall telling me to come out of the closet.

[tired_of_lying411]

If things do go forward with you two, I would caution you this-- Be open about the gay stuff. Make sure you are both very honest about BOTH of you ACTUALLY being gay. You don't want to get hurt when you find out that he feels that he can't see you because he's in denial and he's decided that "he's straight".

Speaking from experience, yes... It sounds weird, but just make sure it comes up in conversation at some point if it looks like things are going somewhere. It can't hurt.

PS- Good luck, this can be a lot of fun!