ccdd
5th Dec 2007, 06:07 PM
Ok so I know this has been a very common topic and thread but I thought I could do with some advice because I've just had a rather strange night.
Basically, it's to do with how you know someone else is gay and how you drop hints that you are gay (or at least that you're not straight) so as to "test the waters". I was wondering: I kinda think that if someone is actually gay/bi, then they are much more likely to pick up on hints. Do you agree? I think I'd certainly pick up hints.
But anyway, there's this girl here, who I am certain is a lesbian, but now I'm not sure, or actually she's probably bi. Anyhow, when I first met her I kinda got a feeling she might be gay, I dunno why, and there was kinda - I dunno, flirtatious? - behaviour between us (although flirtatious is too strong a word perhaps). But basically, looking each other in the eye slightly longer than usual, looking away, and she even winked at me at one point, but I really don't know what that means or what it had to do with. Anyhow, once friends on Facebook, I saw that she was in about 5-6 different LBGT kinda groups, and when I saw that in one note she describes herself as "queer". Anyhow, the point of this is is that I was really confused tonight because we went out as a group and she kept talking to me about how this one guy in this film was really fit and gorgeous, and it just kept coming up, before the film, during the film, and after the film. I think the thing is, I thought she might have sussed me out (although she knows I have an ex-boyfriend), and additionally - although this doesn't really matter - I hadn't realised she was bisexual. But then the group of us were talking about stuff afterwards and anyway, she kinda clammed up when we started talking about relationships etc which I kinda understand, but it worried me cos I thought: maybe she thinks I'm homophobic, and that therefore, she has to pretend to be straight, and she won't talk about anything at all. What do you think? It also made me realise that she probably *hasn't* picked up on the hints that I'm thinking I might be a bit gay (I do go on about my ex alot lol)
On an aside, it was quite cool, because it emerges that a friend of mine's friend (female), who I met and was extremely attracted to, is actually bi! This fills me with joy partly because we kinda flirted (?), or at least, whatever we were doing at the time made me ask myself, are we flirting?, so it now seems likely that we are. I found her really attractive, and I'd actually thought, I wonder if she's actually gay. I probably won't see her again, but at least, and this is the other thing, I know there are people like me out there!! PLUS, this means that this particular (new) friend of mine has a bi best friend SO THIS IS COOL in terms of coming out to her if I ever figure myself out.
But I just don't know how you tell - I think I'm just optimistic and assume everyone is!! But I suppose it's hard to get people to come out to you when you're barely out to yourself.
Basically, it's to do with how you know someone else is gay and how you drop hints that you are gay (or at least that you're not straight) so as to "test the waters". I was wondering: I kinda think that if someone is actually gay/bi, then they are much more likely to pick up on hints. Do you agree? I think I'd certainly pick up hints.
But anyway, there's this girl here, who I am certain is a lesbian, but now I'm not sure, or actually she's probably bi. Anyhow, when I first met her I kinda got a feeling she might be gay, I dunno why, and there was kinda - I dunno, flirtatious? - behaviour between us (although flirtatious is too strong a word perhaps). But basically, looking each other in the eye slightly longer than usual, looking away, and she even winked at me at one point, but I really don't know what that means or what it had to do with. Anyhow, once friends on Facebook, I saw that she was in about 5-6 different LBGT kinda groups, and when I saw that in one note she describes herself as "queer". Anyhow, the point of this is is that I was really confused tonight because we went out as a group and she kept talking to me about how this one guy in this film was really fit and gorgeous, and it just kept coming up, before the film, during the film, and after the film. I think the thing is, I thought she might have sussed me out (although she knows I have an ex-boyfriend), and additionally - although this doesn't really matter - I hadn't realised she was bisexual. But then the group of us were talking about stuff afterwards and anyway, she kinda clammed up when we started talking about relationships etc which I kinda understand, but it worried me cos I thought: maybe she thinks I'm homophobic, and that therefore, she has to pretend to be straight, and she won't talk about anything at all. What do you think? It also made me realise that she probably *hasn't* picked up on the hints that I'm thinking I might be a bit gay (I do go on about my ex alot lol)
On an aside, it was quite cool, because it emerges that a friend of mine's friend (female), who I met and was extremely attracted to, is actually bi! This fills me with joy partly because we kinda flirted (?), or at least, whatever we were doing at the time made me ask myself, are we flirting?, so it now seems likely that we are. I found her really attractive, and I'd actually thought, I wonder if she's actually gay. I probably won't see her again, but at least, and this is the other thing, I know there are people like me out there!! PLUS, this means that this particular (new) friend of mine has a bi best friend SO THIS IS COOL in terms of coming out to her if I ever figure myself out.
But I just don't know how you tell - I think I'm just optimistic and assume everyone is!! But I suppose it's hard to get people to come out to you when you're barely out to yourself.